AIBU to feel upset by my parents' views on mental illness

[SeaGlassSoul]

I feel quite upset today after overhearing my parents having a conversation about mental health. They were saying that people with mental illness should be “locked up,” and I found it really difficult to listen to. They said that they shouldn’t be in the community. Especially if they have psychosis or schizophrenia or similar.

It made me realise how much stigma still exists. Mental illness covers such a huge range of conditions, and the overwhelming majority of people living with them are not dangerous. They’re just ordinary people trying to navigate life while dealing with challenges that often aren’t visible to others.

Hearing those comments from my own parents was particularly hurtful. It left me feeling quite triggered and sad, and it made me wonder how many people hear views like this from those closest to them.

Has anyone else experienced family members making comments like this? How did you deal with it? Did you challenge them, or did you decide it was better to stay quiet? I’d really appreciate hearing how others have handled similar situations.

Are you sure they weren’t just discussing how ‘care in the community’ isn’t working? And how people are just ending up on the streets and/or addicted to drugs as simply a way to save the government money and to place the responsibility on people that have zero training, and little understanding of the complex care needs that trained, educated and experienced mental health staff have.
It’s just not helping anyone, the carers, family and friends and principally, the very ill people that need it.

ETA: It’s not a popular opinion but I think we need to bring back a new sort of institution/residential care as this simply isn’t working.

And this is the exact reason my family have no idea i have bipolar or bpd

My father can be like this, and there has been a person with serious mental health illnesses in our family - all under control now and well thank goodness. He still doesn’t quite get it, but certainly when the crisis was going on, he did everything he could to support.

Personally, unless you are all dealing with a mental health crisis, and they need to step up and be helpful in someway, I wouldn’t get angry about something that is hypothetical. Mental health is a very broad category and difficult for most people to grasp. Your, what might be considered, overly sympathetic view of things would be disagreed with by the parents of the two university students killed by the bloke in Newcastle with schizophrenia who shouldn’t have been let out. Equally a view of everyone should be locked up is also stupid.

Don’t look to have a fight where there is none to be had. Unless of course you’re really bored.

A woman with mental illness has just yesterday stabbed 4 men in London. Recently a man with mental issues threw a 3 year old into some alligators. Calocane is all over the news for it having been missed that he should have been locked up and Rudikabane is now in Broadmoor.

Your parents have a point.

It wasn't a woman who stabbed 4 men....

I would assume it was in response to the woman who stabbed people in Covent Garden yesterday, and that what they actually meant was someone meeting her (presumed) profile, that of a homeless person with an uncontrolled, serious MH condition and possibly all kinds of comorbidities. Not someone with depression, PND etc, or managing a serious condition well, with medication etc.

I have bipolar and this is such a difficult read- not your fault but makes me realise there is still stigma
my parents are older and have never taken time to understand or support me with my mental health. I often wonder how different it would be if I had a severe physical illness. I try to be open about my mental health but have been stigmatised including at an old job ten years ago when diagnosed, I disclosed it and they stopped me from doing much of my job because they were not sure if I could do it. Never forgotten this. You are not being unreasonable

Those with mental ill health are more of a danger to themselves then others!

I think you are eavesdropping and so unable to drill down into what they actually meant. It sounds like they were talking about violent unstable dangerous people with psychological problems and you have extrapolated that to mean all people with psychological problems should be locked up? I doubt even if they were saying the latter they really meant it. I suspect they don’t have the vocabulary or the understanding to qualify their statements. Why not talk to them about it?

I agree with your parents. Care in the community isn’t working and too many innocent people are being injured. In many ways I actually to do think there needs to be the return of the 2026 version of mental asylum’s

A woman was stabbed to death by a 20 year old suffering psychosis in Dundee last year. His family had begged the mental health services to keep him ‘locked up’ - this is one example of hundreds. Your parents have a point.

Can you elaborate?

Why do you say that?

I saw that the sex and gender boards had a thread hinting at this misinformation yesterday.

There is no suggestion anywhere reputable that it wasn't but I agree the only picture of the arrest looks very suspicious.

Most peoole have no undestsnding of severe and enduring mental illness
Yes there are some terrible cases
During the pandemic a women stabbed to death a little girl in a park close to me she was acutely psychotic
These cases are rare though
Its a very fine line between ensuring public safety and not depriving somone of the liberty just in case .

I agree with this,

Why? Because you can't see her vagina in the picture so you assume it must be a man?

Well some people should be locked up for the safety of others . Too many people are being killed or injured to ignore this .

No, because the terrible bond wig and body shape look suspicious (I didn't say conclusive) and it's extraordinarily rare that a female commits such a crime and sadly not treated for a man at all.

What body shape do all women have?

. I said suspicious, not conclusive.
Take the trans arguments to a relevant thread

Nobody thinks people with depression and anxiety or bipolar or histrionic PD should all be locked away. A LOT of people with schizoid or psychotic tendencies would be safer in a residential unit though. Abandoning them to a life of difficulty and risk isn’t always safe.

There needs to be more provision for those with very serious and severe mental illness to receive good, in patient care. I say that as someone whose dh has bipolar and my Mum had schizophrenia and bipolar. My Mum was sectioned on and off throughout my childhood, she was a danger to herself and me several times. As she got older she did become more stable and didn’t need to be sectioned and spent the last 20 years of her life completely symptom free. Having said that, there are many people walking around - you only need to go on a day out and you’ll see evidence of this- who are clearly struggling mentally to the point they shouldn’t be out on their own. It’s actually quite scary. Think of VC, the perpetrator in the 2023 Nottingham stabbings.

There is a huge amount of stigma and misunderstanding about mental illness though- you only have to read all the utterly ignorant comments online surrounding the current ongoing Lindsay Clancy case (Google this if you don’t know about this).

And I don’t mean locked down units I mean residential units like open… they can leave and work etc but trained staff live there who can monitor spirals and check in and ensure treatment