I get that a&e is busy, but was not expecting to be spoken to so rudely

[mitsicar]

Went to a&e tonight. I have a foreign object stuck in my ear. I did not know it was in there until someone looked last night before I left my house and said i should get it looked at. Wasn't able to go to a&e today as my son had his own medical appointment in another city that I have waited months for and we were in a hotel for last night. There was no way I was cancelling it for my own ailment.

The pain has got significantly worse. Have shooting pains into my jaw and cheek bone and my ear is making clicking noises. This is since about lunch time today. Went to a&e this evening and the triage nurse asked me how long it had been in my ear. I said I suspect a few weeks, but I thought I just had an earache and it went away after a while so thought it was gone. Got some new foam ear plugs last week (which obviously pushed the foreign body in further!) and am now suffering for it. I hadn't finished when she cut me off and said 'well I don't really understand why you have picked this evening to come to a&e' and told me I would be better off going to my GP. I am in some pain but ended up leaving because she just made me feel like I had done an awful thing by heading straight after my son's appointment. I spoke to 111 earlier in the day and they told me to go to a&e asap because I could risk my hearing and that whilst it isn't life threatening, it is both an accident and an emergency. I asked if I could wait until morning and they said no. This was the 111 dr not the triage staff. I have no idea if this is the correct advice.

AIBU to think I didn't do anything wrong? I told her a medical professional has looked at it (a friend of mine who is a dr of 30 years) and said it needs ent because of how far in it is and she actually rolled her eyes at me and said I should see an actual GP (I suspect by that she meant my own GP?) and that a&e were sending everyone to minor injuries and that cases like mine are the reason she now has a 6 hour waiting list.

Is this normal for a&e now? Is it so awful working there that being rude has just become the norm or do most people have a better bedside manner? I haven't been to a&e since I was a child and was really shocked by the way I was spoken to, after being advised to go there by 111 and a trusted friend who is a medical doctor (GP).

To add, she didn't look in my ear.

Would you have done anything different? Am I missing something?

@amijustnaive your username is absolutely spot on.

If the GP could make her an appointment to see someone to get the foreign object out within the correct timeframe then no problem. But we all know GPs cannot do that. Even 111 know that. GP led referrals take months. The ones initiated in A&E do not. This is why GPs up and down the country are sending people to A&E. My GP has told me this off-record.

The trouble is there is nothing bridging the gap between "urgently needs to be seen in the next two hours or something awful happens"
and
"this can wait weeks or months no problem"

Dont be ridiculous .Anybody working in the NHS would say attend the specialist appointment your child has waited months for (as they hate cancellations) and go to A&E the next day if you can. And as for galavanting , have you ever had a child that needs specialised care?

She prioritised her childs health any decent mother would of done the same why you making out she went out for a few drinks or a spa day

Prioritising your child over your own health is also very normal.

And a night away in a hotel.

The reason why she delayed care is irrelevant. She misused a&e and threw a tantrum and walked out because she was called out on that. It clearly wasn’t that bad if she could voluntarily leave and refuse care.

No, they wouldn’t.

I got an earring back stuck inside my ear lobe as a kid. God knows how it got there. Anyways A&E promptly cut it open to retrieve it.

She sounds rude. I had it once with a doctor after I had taken ds there with chest recessions and tracheal tug (baring in mine GP had sent him up to A&E 2 days prior with tonsillitis).

Said he didn’t really know why I’d brung him in as his chest was clear UNTIL he put him on the monitor a few minutes later and his oxygen saturation was 88! Suddenly he could hear chest crackling and he was admitted to hospital for oxygen. His response was ‘well ds was crying a few minutes ago so I didn’t hear the crackling’ 🤨

I once went with severe one sided abdominal pain, swelling and bleeding and had one nurse at A&E ask me if I had medical anxiety as it was just a period. They reluctantly did an ultrasound and I had ovarian torsion and a huge dermoid cyst. Straight down for surgery.

You just need to be less sensitive. Yes she was rude but you still have something stuck in your ear which you are no closer to removing and which could cause an infection. If you had just ignored her attitude and waited it would have been sorted by now.

She wasn't in a&e she was in minor injuries unit

No she absolutely did not. Going to A&E a day later is neither here nor there. Makes no odds , if you need A&E you need A&E. Most times we’ve used A&E we’ve tried to wait to check for absolute necessity and gone a day later.

I was told I was misusing a&e once and it was "just" anxiety. It was a pulmonary embolism

god GPs has become ridiculous now. They should be able to remove that but I’m not surprised they wouldn’t. All they do is now send people somewhere else. Thats just pathetic.

The point is she did not need a&e. She didn’t have an accident, and she didn’t have an emergency.

They would. Wait lists anre insane. Making a child wait several months for a replacement appointment and cancelling last minute when you can simply go to A&E a day later is far more sensible. You can check severity too.

The night in the hotel was for her childs appointment not a fun night away

Weird. The first line of her post states she went to a&e.

If it was so bad to need a&e she realistically would’ve attended a&e at the hospital the appointment was at, not waiting and frolicking in a hotel.

I think the nurse was horrible to you and very unprofessional. I'd go to the GP today and tell them what happened.
The only mitigation really is that maybe she thought you'd known about the problem for weeks and gone to A&E instead of the GP.

You did nothing wrong

try and speak to the GP this morning, don’t wait days for an appointment. This is not life t
threatening, but urgent

GP may well send you back to a&e in which case you go back and tell them “my GP sent me here”

You are ridiculous. She has not misused an A&E. She was in MINOR INJURIES unit in A&E and was sent there by 111

In our hospital A&E and Minor injuries have the same front door and the same check in desk.

Not unusual. The sign on the main front door says accident and emergency.

Is there some way you can have an NHS record that quickly shows how often you access the services and for what reasons? So they can spot the time wasters and see that another person goes years without seeing a medical professional?
Then they can contact the time wasters and suggest they are using services inappropriately. I watched some of that Ambulance series on iPlayer and they seem to have loads of people abusing the system and using ambulances as taxis.
I guess the staff are always under the threat of complaints and litigation and can’t take even the tiniest risk but must want to just tell some people to go away.
OP you did nothing wrong. The time wasters wore out that nurse. Not you.

Our hospital is the same you get triaged before you walk in left for a&e right for miu.

She did need A&E or MIU, they used the same deck. She was in the right place.

You were in the right place. I have been to A and E when one of my children was small and put something in their ear. They retrieved it at A and E. A GP will not be able to help you.
Most people would have gone to a long awaited appointment for their child as you did.
Sometimes A and E staff get cross/upset when they are dealing with a life threatening emergency but they misunderstood you. Go again.