I get that a&e is busy, but was not expecting to be spoken to so rudely

[mitsicar]

Went to a&e tonight. I have a foreign object stuck in my ear. I did not know it was in there until someone looked last night before I left my house and said i should get it looked at. Wasn't able to go to a&e today as my son had his own medical appointment in another city that I have waited months for and we were in a hotel for last night. There was no way I was cancelling it for my own ailment.

The pain has got significantly worse. Have shooting pains into my jaw and cheek bone and my ear is making clicking noises. This is since about lunch time today. Went to a&e this evening and the triage nurse asked me how long it had been in my ear. I said I suspect a few weeks, but I thought I just had an earache and it went away after a while so thought it was gone. Got some new foam ear plugs last week (which obviously pushed the foreign body in further!) and am now suffering for it. I hadn't finished when she cut me off and said 'well I don't really understand why you have picked this evening to come to a&e' and told me I would be better off going to my GP. I am in some pain but ended up leaving because she just made me feel like I had done an awful thing by heading straight after my son's appointment. I spoke to 111 earlier in the day and they told me to go to a&e asap because I could risk my hearing and that whilst it isn't life threatening, it is both an accident and an emergency. I asked if I could wait until morning and they said no. This was the 111 dr not the triage staff. I have no idea if this is the correct advice.

AIBU to think I didn't do anything wrong? I told her a medical professional has looked at it (a friend of mine who is a dr of 30 years) and said it needs ent because of how far in it is and she actually rolled her eyes at me and said I should see an actual GP (I suspect by that she meant my own GP?) and that a&e were sending everyone to minor injuries and that cases like mine are the reason she now has a 6 hour waiting list.

Is this normal for a&e now? Is it so awful working there that being rude has just become the norm or do most people have a better bedside manner? I haven't been to a&e since I was a child and was really shocked by the way I was spoken to, after being advised to go there by 111 and a trusted friend who is a medical doctor (GP).

To add, she didn't look in my ear.

Would you have done anything different? Am I missing something?

This!!! 👏🏻

Honestly think people are trolling you at this point

Hope your ear is better soon

I had this is hospital a few years back.

I was sent straight to A&E with an ear infection by my GP, because of the severity of it.

the nurse I saw said ‘ what on earth are you doing here with just an ear infection?’
baring in mind my ears were bleeding, I was crying with pain and had the first sign of sepsis.

sone people just are not cut out for a caring profession.

The problem with the NHS are the gatekeepers. Some staff in triage are excellent but those who aren't can severely impact care and a patient's prospect. Usually, once you get to see a specialist and get a diagnosis, it's great. The issue seems to be to get to that stage.

I was thinking the same thing. Sometimes you have to say to hell with accepted procedure and do what you think is right for your family.

I think you should consider how difficult it is to work in a&e. I went there a few times in 2024 with severe abdominal pain. I was swaying in my seat, clutching my abdomen. A person opposite me evidently whispered something about me because the response I overheard was that “she’s in a lot of pain”. Yet, those people appeared to be medically well. So many of the people during my visits seemed okay. One went out for a cigarette. If you’re quite alright it’s often not the right place because it really should be reserved for severe medical cases.

I assume her rudeness is probably years of feeling overwhelmed and frustrated at people attending for minor injuries and ailments. It would drive me insane. Of course it’s not okay to be rude, especially in her role. That’s disappointing. I work for NHS myself and it goes without saying that I’m expected to be polite and professional regardless.

If a gp sent you to a&e, then you were in the right place! you couldn’t possibly wait weeks to see ent if it was potentially going to damage your ear drum. I know there are lots of cases that don’t require a&e but if a gp has told you to go there as well as 111 then you were in the right place. I feel some staff that work in a&e (and maternity but that’s another story) are very jaded & don’t even like it anymore because they do get so many time wasters but that doesn’t mean that they can be down right rude! Bat shit some of these comments & the nurse sounded like a rude cunt!

I feel you - took my daughter to A&E recently having an asthma attack and was dismissed by triage because her numbers “werent that bad” and she was fidgeting/moving around. By the time her chest was listened to she was on back to back nebulisers within seconds, I’ve never seen medical staff move so quickly, and she was on them for some time. Had I left on the basis of triage it’s not worth thinking about. So just to chime in with some support for you here that yes, triage can be brusque but i think it’s a tactic for the actual time wasters. Not a safe one, mind you! I’m pleased you’re being treated now.

How are you getting on, OP?

OP as someone who has had plenty of ear trouble in the past, I'm sorry you got to this point! Of course you did nothing wrong going to A+E, especially as you'd made sure to get informal but expert advice first.

Sorry too about all the people on here who pretend that they would have known exactly what to do in your shoes and that it obviously wouldn't have been what you did.

To me (as a former UK resident who found A+Es pretty busy already a decade ago) it sounds like the problem is definitely the state of emergency care in the UK. The lack of clarity on when to contact A+E, when minor injuries, when 111 and when the GP is in itself symptomatic of the extent to which emergency care has just become a case of 'administering shortages' or, in other words, a game of pass-the-hot-potato.

And it sounds like being sent from pillar to post has made things way worse for you. I'm crossing my fingers that you get appropriate care quickly now and that your hearing recovers fully and speedily. All the best.

Really poor of her minor injuries was absolutely the right place for you to be and 111 had told you to go to hospital!

You could complain about her as her dismissive attitude led you to leave the hospital which could have had repercussions for you.

SHE WAS IN MINOR INJURIES

(have you cashed the cheque yet)

How are you doing OP?

I think it's really bad the initial nurse didn't look in your ear.
Hope it's sorted now.

You are unreasonable for being too soft. The nurses are over worked and dealing with actual emergencies. You had pain you haven’t bothered to address by going a GP who may have been able to help. You should not have left.

Why did you let a complete stranger tell you what to do? Take responsibility for your own health and decisions.

How come do many people can’t read a post? I think it’s the same face to face, people hear about 4 words then don’t listen anymore and are just waiting to tell you, what decided before they actually listened!

Yes, the nurse was rude and probably shouldn't have spoken to you like that but also, could you do her job?

I know I couldn't.

A and E is under so much pressure. It sounds like she was having a bad day.

My advice would be that you ring your GP and ask in the morning what else you can do. Evenings and weekends are going to be busy in A and E, I'd have thought.

I hope it all works out well for you.

YANBU to think you shouldn't have been spoken to like that.
Whether it's U to not expect that...well...as seen here many have similar stories. We shouldn't expect it, but realistically, I'm not sure, I think those mentioning it as a tactic to get people to leave at least some of the time has merit, much as what many who were with me in the A&E waiting room felt - that the NHS has been managed into this poor state to get more people to go private - was at least feeling true at the time.

I'm another. Earlier this year, I was sent to A&E by my GP with signs of stroke - with the BEFAST test, I was failing all by speech when I was sent (that would come later). The second I mentioned my disabilities to the triage HCP - I was using a mobility aid and was asked and they do include intermittent muscle weakness in one limb, but not down one side of my body as I was having including numbness on that side of my face, I was told with a look that came across as disgust that intermittent things are for GPs and she walked off. I felt like shit and did second guess myself, but stayed.

During my time there, I had some lovely HCPs, but some seemed to be looking for reasons to dismiss me back to the GP so I would be outpatient and not taking up space whether it was my disabilities, my age (40s, how young I was for a stroke was brought up a lot), or being female (being asked if I 'suffer from anxiety' after I lost the ability to talk clearly for a few hours was just...I've been disabled my whole life, and the amount of times I hear that for anything medical is so frustrating). I was in A&E for nearly 24 hours, and on an overflow ward for three days after that - I was actually told that MRIs are not available over the weekend at the hospital I was in...it's all a mess.

Well I once developed an awful ear infection late at night. I was in agony. I absolutely couldn’t have waited until the morning. The pain was indescribable. In the old days you would have called out your local GP for a home visit but they don’t do that anymore so where are you supposed to go?

But I thought this wasn’t A&E but minor injuries which is different. Designed for exactly the scenario the OP went in for?

surely most minor injuries could wait until the morning to see a GP?

See we have to pay privately for ear wax removal GP surgery won't deal with it

I’d have thought that it having been there for several weeks, and you then experiencing symptoms, there’d be a concern for possible sepsis occurring too! I’d have gone to a&e too. I hope you are pain free now x

You mean like all of the young women turning up for the morning after pill that are pushed in front of everyone else? That's obviously an accident and an emergency isn't it? So much so, people in my a & e in obvious pain tend to wait while the morning after pill queue jumps over their heads. Poster did as was suggested by hospital receptionist. I can't see any thing wrong with that.

Hope you’re doing okay OP and the hospital have managed to sort your ear out.
for what it’s worth the NHS provision in my area is the same as yours - anything that needs care more than what a GP can provide gets sent to a and e/ urgent treatment centre (also part of a and e at my hospital). You haven’t done anything wrong - you followed the advice of 111 and your GP to access the correct care in your area.

Thanks all. I have a pretty stressful job and manage to be polite to people much worse than me almost every day of the week!