Moving to a new city / region in your 40s

[CurdinHenry]

Is it me or is this suddenly much scarier

I have social anxiety so I know my approach to getting to know new people isn't standard but even leaving that aside the prospective isolation feels a bit dizzying

Maybe it's time to just appreciate what I've got

I did it in my 40s, doing it again in my 50s. I’ve had to move around for work or for cheap housing etc. I’m quite pleased about my recent move, getting away from one of Britains cheapest area to a place where there’s more opportunities for me and my kids - I hope. If the worst you have to complain about is a bit of feeling isolated you’re doing well in my book.

Good for you, but moving with kids is different to moving if you live alone, which I’m guessing may be the OP’s situation? I’m not saying living alone is automatically a reason for not doing it, just that it’s different.

I’m somewhat older than you are, @CurdinHenry and recently moved to a place I’ve always been fond of but had never lived in properly. I already knew one or two people socially and had some loose professional connections - but really I'm finding the city itself is a friend I’m always eager to engage with.

I am late 50s and I did it 18 months ago. Moved to the outskirts of two cities and never been happier. There is so much more to do right on my doorstep enhanced my life way more than I thought it would. I’m so pleased with my move.

I do understand. It’s difficult if you have social anxiety do you have any interests or hobbies that could help you get to know people and will you be working?

I’m mid 40s and recently moved to a new country. Moving countries scares me less than going to a job interview or going on a date. Which is probably weird.
Do it. We only get one life.

DH and I moved out of London at 40 with our 2 girls to a lovely village. Was best thing we ever did, we have a nuch better life now, as do our girls

I don't think it's just you. Making new friends and starting again feels very different in your 40s than it did in your 20s. It can be scary, but it doesn't mean you won't build a good life there, it just might take a bit more time.

I know but I don't know if I think moving somewhere new is better than lifelong friends and connections at a certain point. I guess we might all end up alone for all sorts of reasons anyway.

I moved from the city to the seaside in my mid 50s

I had/have a great friend here which helped with advice on where to buy etc. But she has a family and life of her own and I needed to do my own thing. I joined a gym and a chess club and started volunteering (I had taken early retirement)

Couldn’t be happier 19 years later. I met my current partner while volunteering and I have a lovely social life

Being by the sea is great - plus friends from outside the area like to visit