Ex not wanting to be exclusive

[MissingCanine]

okay so I’ve been married for ten years and have two children. About a month ago we seperated. Mainly because I withdrew due to some awful things he said to me (about me being fat and ugly, and him needing to think about other women to have sex with me) and after a few months of withdrawal (no affection or sex) he wanted to move out.

i spoke with him today about both working individually to be better people for ourselves and to hopefully be emotionally safe partners for the other and getting to a point where we could be a family again.

he told me that hook ups were fine but if I met someone could I tell him out of respect.

i said tbh I would like to be exclusive in this period of figuring out if we can work out enough to be with each-other to be emotionally safe partners.

he said he wasn’t sure he could be exclusive and he would let me know.

its been 12 hours and nothing.

aibu or this is a red flag right?

You need to be exclusively without him! Why oh why would you even want to try again with this man?? He doesnt want to be with you, dont continue to enable him to hurt you, walk away and rebuild a life for you and your kids

Your literal next conversation with him should be to discuss the details of your divorce.

He can go off and shag other women, but you want to be on the road to legal separation whilst he does so.

You dont need a man . You certainly dont need the one who treats you like rubbish.

He is already sleeping with other people. I really don’t think you should ever have sex with him again, but if you do, make him use a condom. My friend did not make her on-again/off-again husband wear one and now she has herpes for life and no husband.