To ask what is the largest wild animal you could fight off?

[Tsham]

You’re walking in the countryside. An animal resents your presence and it goes for you.

One simple question.

What is the largest wild animal you think you could successfully fight off?

It doesn’t have to be a British wild animal. Feel free to choose a Koala or a Baboon, etc. if you wish.

I am definitely one of those people who are destined to be part of the food chain - I'd be left behind if anything speedier than a slug tried to chase us down.

Similar to @LadyMacbethssweetArabianhand , I once twisted my ankle by skidding on a big worm on the path ☹️. I was in the process of stepping over it but misjudged it and stood on it, poor thing.

Definitely not a badger, I don’t know where they get their cute and cuddly reputation, I think they’re scary buggers !!

A baboon could rip apart even the best cage fighter human, so it a no from me, and I think koalas can carry human VD, so again, a no from me.

Even deer are insanely powerful compared to us and use to scrapping.

Badgers are right hard bastards who look cute.

I reckon the biggest UK animal I could beat in a fight is a swan.

Koalas play the long game ...

You must be near me, keeping an eye out for Samba too. Imagine he would give quite the nasty nip.

Look at the bones!

I have squished multiple mosquito's this week, I'm not normally a killer of wildlife but these bustards were literally bleeding me dry so they deserved it!

Have previously been bitten by a squirrel but I had let my guard down, I thought it was cute and hand fed it a monkey nut, have learn my lesson there!

I once got pinned to a hedge by some horses and on another occassion licked to hysteria by some calves in a field. I suspect I am a bit of a wimp.

In all honesty anything with bigger teeth or claws than a domestic cat, rabbit or Guinea pig might be too much for me.

Size isn't relevant!

A scorpion, snake or some spiders can kill you

They also have fingerprints almost identical to humans. In the very unlikely event I ever become a burglar, I will take a koala with me and let it leave prints everywhere.

I like to think I could rugby tackle a small deer.

In reality, I once picked up a mouse that was in the middle of the road, to put it in the verge, and it bit me, so I give mice a wide berth.
I've also been attacked by a large bird of prey and it won.

So the deer is probably wishful thinking and my limit is most likely a fruit fly.

Well, I'm embarrassed because I opened this thread with the vague idea I could possibly scare off a wolf by flailing around wildly and screaming. But now I realise that, realistically, we're talking hedgehog.

Probably a hedgehog. I mean, I could just provoke it to roll into a ball then gently push it down a slope, and escape!

I reckon domestic cat, realistically. Or sheep as they seem quite docile.

It's not just about size - what about the Rabbit of Caerbannog?

A lot of you are only thinking of carnivores here but you’d stand a better chance against one of the nervous herbivores. I’m going to say probably one of the small to medium species of deer. Not a red deer - they’re the size of horses and could absolutely take me out in seconds. But a roe deer I could probably see off. Definitely one without antlers, and honestly even their antlers tend to be quite feeble. They could give you a kick but they don’t have a great deal of brute strength.

Maybe a sloth?

I think it would have to be a prey animal not a predator. Even cats and small dogs could do you a fair amount of damage. Mind you, so can horses and cows - a swift kick before they run off and that could be the end of you. So a smallish, peaceable, prey animal, with a tendency to run away rather than fight back. Perhaps a squirrel.

I have had better results fighting humans rhan animals . We once had a trapped mole and tried to push/ direct it with a broom into a laundry basket so we could get it outside and it pushed back !! Nearly dropped the broom. A dog is impossible if it’s really riled up even a small dog, been slashed by a cat , bitten by a horse in the middle of my shoulder blades, chased by a field of cows . My dh has been attacked and violated by monkeys several times , they hate him for some reason. Maybe I could fight off a shrew.

I love women 😂😂

Post this on dadsnet and watch the replies of how they could easily fight a gorilla, shark, bear etc

I’m glad we’re not delusional 😂

Apparently a swan’s wings are strong enough to break an adult males arm.

Perhaps a duck?

I could beat a mouse or a vole if I had to. Anything larger? Maybe a wild pony foal because they're basically cowards (but they do kick so maybe not).

Anything carnivorous and I'd just have to accept I'm its dinner I think.

A squirrel when one was unknowingly cornered in our bunny shed and attacked me out of nowhere. I did have a spade nearby which helped. Got badly scratched but that little bastard got mashed. I now have a lifelong hatred of them.

I've been charged by both elephants and rhinos (whilst in a jeep) on trips to Africa and that is underpants filling scary! Baboons are so much stronger than you would think when they are after your breakfast.

Along long-nosed shrew - I would give its nose a big tweak and then run off quickly

I'm not sure. I mean if get injured probably even if I could get the thing off me. I can't even protect myself against my cat when he gets violent when I try and take him to the vet!
And any dog could latch onto you with it's jaws?! So even domestic animals if struggle with! I'll say a fox. But it would never try and attack me?

I'm quite loud so I reckon I'd scare off anything that doesn't like loud noises. I also clap really loudly. But I am weaker than a kitten and scared of everything so I'm just going to play dead and hope for the best. (Apparently my trumps can be awful too so if I could trump while playing dead, hopefully I'd be given a wide berth!)

So many questions on this thread though -

@BeSharpHelper why do monkeys hate your husband? All monkeys or just certain breeds?
@AmyDudley why were you attacked by a bird of prey? And were you injured- they are scary!!!