AIBU to think Jess should identify her ex after passport update?

[Pushingback]

Does anyone here follow jessrunsforsurvivors?

And think after the latest update regarding passports she should expose who her ex is?

Absolute arsehole.

I saw that about the chicken- wtf. But no she’d get in trouble if she exposed him , wouldn’t be worth it for her. Agree he sounds not nice.

God he’s absolutely awful. What a nasty, spiteful POS. Who does that to their own children? What sort of woman goes along with this behaviour and is not running like the wind from this massive red flag? If he’s damaged the passports that’s a criminal matter. I would not be allowing my children anywhere near him. He’s dangerous. Yet I remember the absolute fuss he made about the passports previously…..then didn’t actually use them. Absolute nutjob.

Plenty of people will
know who he is. Who is OH is. And they will all think he is a 🍆 and his OH is pathetic to not stop him.

Was the chicken so that animals would take the bag? Or to damage the passports? I don’t understand why her eldest child doesn’t start voting with his feet and refusing to see his dad? They do week on week off don’t they?

It’s just weird.

How exactly is he going to explain the chicken though?

@usererror99 it won’t be long before he decides not to go but maybe the court order is until a certain age at this point?

@TheFormidableMrsC Awful. I thought he would “find them” at midnight or something but the chicken is just weird.

You just have to think what kind of person doesn’t put their children first. Denying them a holiday to score points in their own weird game.

I totally think the chicken was so that a fox would destroy them.

as for naming and shaming him - she really can’t. She must take the high ground for the sake of the courts. I’m sure there are many who know who she is and therefore must know who he is but it can’t be for her to reveal.

Why? How would that help? Anyone who knows her irl knows who he is. How would a bunch of strangers knowing who he is help in any way at all?

On another of her posts, she was late dropping off due to traffic by 20 minutes so he dropped them back 20 minutes late. This level of petty must be exhausting.

The girlfriend must be mad staying with someone who does this type of shit.

It wouldn’t help at all. It just annoyed me last night that this lady gets quite a lot of abuse when the prick she had children with walks about pulling these stunts.

Having been loosely involved in something similar in the past, she’s exacerbating it by making it her whole life. Grey rock exists and works.

I wonder how much money she’s making from her social media.

@GooseyDuck I agree with that for many other people who post but with this lady, she does give very good advice to people who are in a similar position.

her reels come up a lot on my feeds so I’ve seen a lot of them and I do sometimes think it’s a bit petty on both sides. And I’d imagine her posting about it all the time gets his back up so he probably thinks everyone thinks I’m an arse anyway so I may as well be an every bigger one and give her something to post about

her son is definitely in secondary so she can’t force him if he chooses not to go …. And if he chooses to continue going despite all the issues Jess posts about then maybe the kids have a better time at their dads then she wants to post about?

While I have no doubt that her ex is being a petty twat, continually posting this kind of thing on social media is far from great behaviour either. Neither of them are putting their children's best interests first.

I completely disagree. Jess has provided an invaluable insight on how to deal with spiteful and narcissistic people. She is campaigning for change in the family court, which is vastly overdue. She advocates for other women dealing with this sort of abuse. She works with professionals who also seek change. I wish I had had her courage when I was in a similar situation. She’s been incredibly brave and with the safety and welfare of her children at the forefront. This man isn’t “petty”, he’s a dangerous manipulative narcissist who will happily gaslight his own kids because she escaped him. That is the issue. He’s enraged that he can’t control her anymore so he deploys this sort of shite to make her life as difficult as possible. One day those children will vote with their feet and he’ll turn himself into a victim.

Regardless of how much of a cock this man is, she is throwing accusation after accusation at the father of her children in a public venue and in a very easily identifiable way.

I've been in a situation where I had to co-parent with a petty and spiteful ex who had a real, professionally diagnosed, dangerous mental health disorder. When I posted about it online I was always very careful to maintain as much anonymity as I could and to obfuscate details to minimise the chances of my children finding out the sordid details. Because as much as my ex was a monstrous pain in my butt and a risk to our children I didn't see any benefit to them to air that dirty laundry in a public and identifiable way.

I think this too.

I've only seen a few of her videos, but in one she’s complaining that her ex didn’t return the kids early when she and her new partner took a last minute holiday, so they had to go in two cars instead of one.

You have to be on good terms to expect a favour from a coparent… Not posting how much you hate them multiple times a day.

What I'm not clear on, is how many times did she ask for the passports back? Or did she not ask other than on the parenting app that she knew he wasn't reading?

I think it suits her brand to continuously post about it - after all she’s built an identity around it. some of the screen shots of conversations she uses as evidence I’ve often thought “so what” there really hasn’t been much to it. The whole skiiing thing as I understand it he was going to pay then didnt and she posts about it and then he went and cleared the balance? She was late dropping the kids off - unavoidable and it happens - so he dropped them back proportionally “late” I don’t get what there is to get so worked up about

I don’t see her actually taking on the system to take him to court for some of this stuff?

he is in arrears with CMS but I don’t see her using her platform to campaign for change to the CMS system

she paid for the skiing trip after he said he would pay half and he didn’t. There was a second school trip to France that she told her son she could not pay for and that he could ask his dad. He did and his dad told he would pay the full price which he did eventually but late.

She has to ask on the parenting app as its court ordered that is the only way they communicate. They have a court ordered procedure to request passports from each other which she followed. Her son also knew that the passports were needed but was told by his father ge didn’t have them

Ah ok I see thanks for explaining. I thought she picked him up after his Paris trip though so she could get his stuff and that Mr Jess put the passports in his pocket so I don't know why he's got them now? Have I got that bit wrong. I don't always see her page and then the story gets mixed up.

That was the ski trip. He picked him up after the France trip and also requested the passports for a holiday but they never actually went on the holiday

We all know far too much about someone else’s children. No one is covered in glory.

She comes across as a narcissist herself to me.