Is this rumours or is my boyfriend lying to me about a girl?

[tami345]

So sorry for the confusingness. This is a long one but me and my boyfriend broke up for a couple days last week (something stupid) and the next day after we broke up I was talking to a guy (guy I used to work with years ago) he has a girlfriend and I have spoke to him briefly sometimes for months. I mentioned my boyfriend’s name to him months ago but he said he did not know him. And on my Facebook I always post/ relationship status was up but he never said anything until we broke up.. so he proceeded to send me this big message saying how it’s good that I’m away from my boyfriend as a girl he is friendly with has had sex with him and how they met via tinder (he has never had tinder as he commented on this before and I’ve never seen him on tinder before we got together. The guy proceeded then to tell me how when he used to work in the bar he was a sleazeball and tried to flirt with every girl but yet when I met him when he worked there he was always respectful to me and never came on strong to me etc. so I was confused by this. He also told me that this was around Christmas time (which was when me and him started speaking and dating) my partner and his friend slept together and straight after he told her he still shags his ex wife. Which I really couldn’t imagine my bf speaking like that.. he told me so many bad things about him. So then when me and my partner spoke again I told him everything I was told and he had a completely different story.. swore on his kids life’s he’s never had sex with her and when he worked in the bar she asked him back to her house one night but he said no. He also had her as a friend on Facebook at one stage because I used to see her hearting his photos but then all of a sudden he now doesn’t have her as a friend 🤣 which is strange. I could easily message the girl and ask her but tbh I can’t even be assed to. I begged him to tell me the truth and said I wouldn’t care and he was like if I slept with her I would literally tell you but I never. So now I don’t know what to believe, surely he would tell me if he had and not lie about it? Because the truth always comes out in the end.

No-one here will be able to verify either of their accounts. I don’t agree with your supposition that your bf would surely tell you if he had slept with the pal rather than lie about it. But I think you’re right that it’s likely that time will tell. Good luck in any case.

If he is lying he literally swore on his kids life he never slept with her

You begged him to tell you the truth and said you wouldn't care - so you were lying to him then weren't you? If you didn't care you wouldn't have asked him. You seem to think he wouldn't lie to you, but none of us know him. If any of his previous relationships have broken up due to him lying or his bad behaviour then I would be less inclined to give him the benefit of any doubt. Plus I think it's disgusting when people swear ANYTHING on their children's lives, it's really gross and doesn't prove anything, except for the fact that you want to drag them into your adult mess somehow.

I'd never believe a bloke who swears on his kids lives 🙄 you say you can't be arsed to ask the girl but if you really want to know, that's the logical thing to do. Unless you're going to just believe him, because you don't want it to be true?

I’m not to sure why his previous relationships ended tbh. I’ve never had a bad word about him only until that day after we broke up and I heard that off my friend

But liars always say that.
It means nothing.

You should ask the girl.

Swearing on your kids lives, even if you’re lying will result in absolutely no harm coming to your children!

I’m telling you that I swear on my life I absolutely am not drinking a glass of wine while watching house of the dragon….…

Oh - I’m still here. I was lying.

OP, there is no way of us knowing and I understand that the not knowing is always horrible but you either believe him or you don’t. And if you really don’t, or you doubt him then you don’t trust him and this is so not worth it.

Yep true ! Doesn’t mean anythin is gonna happen to the kids

Swearing on his kids' lives makes him more likely to be lying IME! I don't trust anyone who swears on their mum's or kid's life.

So why mention it?

oh I asked him to swear tbf 🙈

If you’re breaking up for short periods on and off over stupid things and you’re hearing rumours that he is unconvincingly trying to refute, it all sounds rather volatile and hard work. Relationships should make you generally happy, loved and secure. Does this one make you feel that way?

I'm not sure there's any value in asking the girl. If she's lied to your friend about sleeping with your bf then she'll lie to you too. Sounds like your friend really doesn't care much for your bf and one would wonder why.

Is he supposed to have slept with her before you got together? In which case nothing to do with you, he should be truthful but you have no rights to know, let alone ask him to swear on his kids life.

Why on eaeth for? All this sounds a mess

Are you back together?
If you broke up for 2 days thats not really a break up is it? So these things happened some time ago. All in all this doesnt sound like a very mature or stable relationship so stop fretting.

How old are you op? Asking someone to swear on their kids lives is really childish, and of course means nothing.

as the first poster said, none of us can tell you if your boyfriend is a cheat or not, I’m sorry,

This looks like it was written by a twelve year old.

Swearing on your children's lives generally means the person is lying.

Frankly if you give him the benefit of the doubt this will always gnaw away at you. There is no point in a relationship where doubt and suspicion are always present, as they will be for you if you chose to ignore the information you have been given.

Yeah but it’s not about cheating this was supposedly before me. Not when we were broke up. We only broke up for 2 days but are now trying to work on things. A lot of the stuff my coworker told me didn’t make sense.. like how they met on tinder when he’s definitly never had tinder. The guy also told me he knows all this about him because my partner is good friends with a guy called Adam and he supposedly told him all this. I have definitly never heard him mention an Adam and I asked him and he said that he has no clue who he is. He also told me that after sleeping with the girl in question my partner then boasted that he “still rides his ex wife when he has no other options available” and he would never speak like that.