AIBU - can't take it anymore

[YourNimbleLeader]

Bare with - typing in a bit of a rage here.

Been married 17 years. We married young so are in our early 40s now. DP has always been a bit of a slobberer when eating. Loud chewing, weird gulps, throat noises, mucus in throat - the whole business. Earth-shaking belches. DP thinks it's funny...

We have a family together, but this amongst other things makes me feel like I just can't do it anymore. I don't feel sexually attracted, I just can't envision the rest of my life with this person. Is this death by a thousand cuts? Am I young enough to start again? We have built a household together, and my partner is wonderful at taking care of the children, really involved and an active partner in our life that we've built - but our relationship is just so non-existent. AIBU to be considering separation? And for wanting more/something else?

To be fair, I have a female friend who belches loudly. It’s vile and weird, because otherwise she’s lovely.

Someone I know does this too. She'll just openly burp really loudly in public and doesn't care. She's also always sniffing and clearing her throat really loudly

I cannot stand loud eaters. My DH slurps his cereal but we rarely coincide tim8ngs due to work hours. God help us when we both retire! The loud belching would make me sick, I have a very strong gag reflex and there’s just no need.

”Bare with”instead of “bear with” has triggered my rage!

Well I voted YABU based on the initial post. I’m not a fan of selfish people who put themselves before their children. You made vows.
Just separate when they’ve finished their A levels. Like a normal person.
Also assuming this is some sort of gotcha bullshit though.

You're going to leave your wife because she eats loudly?

You get in a rage because of it?

Honestly this is ridiculous. I bet the 'other things' you're keen to leave her over are that you want a younger and more attractive model.

If she is married, you may have just outed OP!

You will get the usual people replying straight away with 'get out now' etc. but the grass is always greener on the other side. Divorce will upend not just your life but that of your wife and childrens' and won't necessarily leave you any happier. Just have a long hard think before you take a wrecking ball to everything.

Tell her that her awful eating noises are grossing you out and either she controls it or the marriage is over

You have the ick and even if she packs in eating like a pig it'll be hard to bring back the attraction

This is such a deliberate drip feed, but I'm here for it 😂😂 well played OP, well played.

My advice remains the same, the ick is the ick and there's nothing you can do about it, lifes too short to be annoyed forever.

My DH cannot sit at a table without tapping his leg.

That's it.

It's that. It's absolutely crucifying me.

Tap, tap, tap.

And this is a relatively new thing.

How were you ever sexually attracted to this woman in the first place? That's vile!

Whats the crack then OP? are you going to talk to her or just kick her sorry arse to the curb?

My reply definitely changes - the overall sentiment is the same, in that if this is changeable and you have scope to communicate how much it bothers you, and the wife can therefore address it - maybe there's room to stay.

But I don't believe this is genuine. If it is, there's more to it than laid out here.

My first post was highlighting the joy and freedom of female singledom ( at an older age especially). So my advice for a female would reflect this.

I understand men statistically do better, are happier and therefore benefit significantly more than women as part of a marriage. That alone is enough to change how I answer this.