Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to expect the original sleeping arrangements on a family holiday?

85 replies

PithyBeaker · 01/08/2026 23:09

Ok here’s the full story: DSis has a holiday house in south of France. Currently being renovated so she is renting an apartment for her and DN. Invited me and my DS to come stay there ages ago. Accepted. Then, she invited our mum too but no space in the flat so my mum planned to get a hotel. Then DSis said no, get a three bed air bnb instead so we all have somewhere to cook and hang out (nicer than the flat she is renting). She suggested I should stay there with my DS instead of crammed in with her and DN at the smaller flat per original plan. My mum was the one who told me it was already a done deal and she had booked a three bed air bnb for the three of us (me, DS and my mum) so we could each have our own room. I said great, ok. DS and I spent whole day on trains to get from midlands to south of France yesterday. Arrive hot sweaty and exhausted and it transpires that, because the air BnB is so nice, my DSis now wants to stay here instead and DN (who is rather spoiled) has decided she will sleep in same room as my DS. Even though they already have a separate apartment. DSis even said maybe she would share a room w me but I said er it’s a bit small and don’t you already have an apartment?? And she said ok I’ll hang out here and go back to sleep there. Anyway, DN gets on my son’s tits fairly quickly bc he is exhausted and also she doesn’t like to let him have any space or privacy (she read his diary which kicked off a scene…) Anyway, I (gently) suggested maybe we should stick w the separate apartment sleeping plan at least for tonight as we’re both really tired and maybe we could do a cousin sleep over tomorrow. Sis stormed out and sent me an angry message that her daughter’s feelings are hurt now. AIBU to think she should have managed her own child better and not forced me to have to say no to the sleepover? She was proposing to just leave DN here and go back to sleep at the other apartment alone. Help. I have lots of other stuff going on and can’t work out if I’m the one BU or not here.

OP posts:
Evaka · 01/08/2026 23:11

Your sister is a wanker.

hahabahbag · 01/08/2026 23:11

Could you have the apartment if you want your own space?

PithyBeaker · 01/08/2026 23:13

hahabahbag · 01/08/2026 23:11

Could you have the apartment if you want your own space?

Yep she’s just messaged me to suggest that (and tell me how hurt DN is)

OP posts:
nomas · 01/08/2026 23:14

Stick to your guns and don’t make your child share a room. And you don’t share with sister either.

Floppyearedlab · 01/08/2026 23:14

Totally agree with you. You need some space and time apart or you won’t enjoy the holiday. You will all end up overstimulated and fed up with each other.

How old are the children? I can understand your son not wanting to share with a girl even if it is his cousin.

PithyBeaker · 01/08/2026 23:15

Floppyearedlab · 01/08/2026 23:14

Totally agree with you. You need some space and time apart or you won’t enjoy the holiday. You will all end up overstimulated and fed up with each other.

How old are the children? I can understand your son not wanting to share with a girl even if it is his cousin.

He is 11. She is 7.

OP posts:
nomas · 01/08/2026 23:15

PithyBeaker · 01/08/2026 23:13

Yep she’s just messaged me to suggest that (and tell me how hurt DN is)

Why should she have the nicer place?!

Tell her you’re happy where you are.

Pistachiocake · 01/08/2026 23:17

Wouldn't blame your son not wanting to share with someone like that! She sounds awful.
Holiday plans shouldn't be rearranged (emergency aside) unless everyone agrees.

PithyBeaker · 01/08/2026 23:17

nomas · 01/08/2026 23:15

Why should she have the nicer place?!

Tell her you’re happy where you are.

Apparently bc DN wants to be w DGM (my mum).l and is jealous if my DS has her all to himself

OP posts:
TokyoSushi · 01/08/2026 23:17

Nope, your sister is the one who’s being ridiculous!

SpiritAdder · 01/08/2026 23:19

I’d stay wherever there is aircon.

PithyBeaker · 01/08/2026 23:19

SpiritAdder · 01/08/2026 23:19

I’d stay wherever there is aircon.

Not helpful. Both places have air con.

OP posts:
PithyBeaker · 01/08/2026 23:21

PithyBeaker · 01/08/2026 23:17

Apparently bc DN wants to be w DGM (my mum).l and is jealous if my DS has her all to himself

Although it was never the plan that they would stay together! The problem is just that my DN can’t stand to see someone else have something that might be better than what she has. I love her very much but she can be quite spoiled

OP posts:
Jossse · 01/08/2026 23:21

If you want space swap with her. You’re all on holiday and have stuff going on. She’s probably stressed as you’re not all enjoying yourselves at her place that’s being renovated. try to relax and enjoy this time. Not sure exactly what your DSis problem is but is it worth ruining holiday over. Hopefully not. Have a good sleep and tomorrow is a new day … tiredness is a biatch!!

Ohnobackagain · 01/08/2026 23:27

Just stick to your guns “we planned to come based on this arrangement, otherwise we’d have booked our own place” she needs to get over herself @PithyBeaker

outerspacepotato · 01/08/2026 23:28

You look at your sister and say oh, hell no, I am not sharing a bedroom with you. This is not a sleepover. We just got off a long train ride and need our rest.

Then,

"Your daughter is not staying here. The end."

Renovations are hell but it's her holiday place and she's got a rental of her own.

CrypticClueless · 01/08/2026 23:33

Who is paying for the AirBnB?

I’d just say “we were hot and tired , not expecting changed plans and Ds was upset about his diary. Tomorrow is another day x”

It is understandable that your Dn is jealous over her grandmother. And 7 yos love being with older kids (who generally really do not want them around),

SpiritAdder · 01/08/2026 23:34

PithyBeaker · 01/08/2026 23:19

Not helpful. Both places have air con.

Actually is a bit helpful. I’d go to the flat then. Private space is best.

WinterSunglasses · 01/08/2026 23:38

You or your mum or both have presumably paid for the Airbnb. Why should the people paying for holiday accommodation have to share it with others just because those people fancy it? Nope. Say you and your son have had a really hectic year of it and you need your own space on holiday so there won't be any overnight sharing. Broken record technique, just keep repeating it calmly. Protect your son's space and your own.

KindlySurfiingPlatypus · 01/08/2026 23:39

Could both kids stay with grandma (each with their own room) and you and sis obviously stay in the larger flat until bed time then go back to the other flat (perhaps for a cheeky glass of wine before bed)

Shinckle · 01/08/2026 23:41

I think he's old enough you could just say no to mixed sex sleepovers full stop, between non siblings.

It's a shame it's turned into an argument. Part of me thinks fair enough that she asked, but she should have taken your no with better grace.

HelenaWilson · 01/08/2026 23:44

Could both kids stay with grandma (each with their own room)

Maybe grandma doesn't want to be responsible for two children overnight.

And of course an 11 yo boy doesn't want to share a room with a 7 yo girl.

PithyBeaker · 01/08/2026 23:45

WinterSunglasses · 01/08/2026 23:38

You or your mum or both have presumably paid for the Airbnb. Why should the people paying for holiday accommodation have to share it with others just because those people fancy it? Nope. Say you and your son have had a really hectic year of it and you need your own space on holiday so there won't be any overnight sharing. Broken record technique, just keep repeating it calmly. Protect your son's space and your own.

Mum paid. Unclear what she thinks or said. It all seems to have been suddenly promised to DN before we arrived that she could stay there too.

OP posts:
WinterSunglasses · 01/08/2026 23:51

PithyBeaker · 01/08/2026 23:45

Mum paid. Unclear what she thinks or said. It all seems to have been suddenly promised to DN before we arrived that she could stay there too.

OK, so you add in 'I didn't know about that so we can't keep promises we didn't make' then repeat the points I gave above. You and your son are on holiday. You don't have to accept the shitty end of the stick because someone else said something impulsive under pressure.

If your mum pulls rank as the person paying, then I'd say you and your son will decamp to the other flat and have that to yourselves. But I wouldn't suggest that straight off.

Woodfiresareamazing2 · 01/08/2026 23:53

Hi Pithy.

The last thing you need on holiday is more drama.

Who 'promised' DN she could stay in your and your mum's 3 bed apartment?

I'm guessing it was your DSis. In which case she's going to have to explain to her DD that that's not now going to happen. She really can't promise someone else's space to her DD!

If it was your mum, that's a bit more problematic.
Definitely don't agree to your DS sharing with DN.
Maybe you could have a few days there with your mum, then you and DS move to DSis apartment and she + DN move in with your mum.

Swipe left for the next trending thread