AIBU to snap after my mum kept calling a bike a trike?

[Crayo]

i am looking to get my daughter her first bike. She’s 5 and has had a balance bike before but never a real bike. Everytime I speak to my mum she asks me if I’ve found a “trike” yet. I keep telling her it’s a bike I’m getting, 2 wheels” and she always says “oh yes, you know what I mean”.

Well this has been going on weeks and literally everytime I speak to her she asks about the “trike” and I constantly correct her and say “bike”. She does have a habit of asking the same question for weeks at a time and she also has form for deliberately saying the wrong words for attention and it’s tiring.

this morning I was at my mums and my sister was there. I went to toilet and when I came back my sister said “not being funny but isn’t DD old enough for a proper bike now?” I asked what she was on about as I am getting her a proper bike and she said “mum! You said she was getting a trike!”

So I lost it, screamed and shouted “stop saying it’s a fucking trike!! You know it’s not so just fucking stop it”

my sister said “Jesus Christ is there any need for that?” So I told her she’s been saying trike for weeks and it’s winding me up so she said “she gets mixed up, there’s no need to scream like that” but the annoying part is she doesn’t get mixed up!!! She does it on purpose and has been doing this for years!

'I studied Maths at university. Not Economics. Guess what this parent tells everyone under the sun whenever there is any mention of university/studying?'

My mother has done this too! She rewrites reality in general to suit her own agenda

My trivial example is that she refuses to use the words 'arms' and 'legs' but says 'hands' and 'feet' instead. So for example, 'youve got goosebumps on your hands' when she means arms 🙄 a

Always done it. That's just one example. It sounds like nothing to other people but it really does your head in

You can’t control what she does, you can only control your response.

If she does this to DD then just laugh, roll your eyes and say “isn’t Granny silly”

Don’t make it a thing for her. Don’t give it oxygen.

My mum deliberately gets people’s names wrong

every single time she mentions my sil (DH sister) she calls her by another name. We have been married for 15 years. She’s got a perfectly normal name. Easy to pronounce. Not complicated

Nah! A bike with stabilisers has four wheels. How can it be a tricycle?

Tripod
triangle
triathlon
triology
trimester
trio

what do these words have in common? Oh they’re small Versions of things , for kids!

My mum used to pretend she had never heard me mention my university friends. She feigned baffled incomprehension when I mentioned "Kate" for example at the end of my third year. I had lived with Kate for two of the three years yet she said in an incredulous tone "I've never heard you mention Kate in my life"

So either you are lying or you weren't listening. Go mum.

I understand how annoying it is because my mum used to say the wrong words on purpose to annoy me. The difference is I never would have dared scream and shout at her!
I would pretend that you have no idea what she's talking about. For example, if she asks if you've found a trike, say Trike? I don't know what you're talking about. Then if she says Aren't you getting her a trike? Just say No, I'm not.

YABU for losing your temper so much that you swore at your mother. Family are very annoying sometimes but you just have to let it wash over you.

Assuming she’s cognitively fine I’d have said I’ve explained 100 times that it’s a bike not a trike but mum is struggling to understand the difference so let’s just go along with whatever is easiest for her. That should nip it in the bud.

It sounds like she doesn’t do the same to your sister or maybe she is more patient. Well, good for her. Like you I would be angry.

I think the only thing you can do is not tell her anything of any significance. It’s sad really because I’m sure you would like to share your news and feelings with your mum, but if she can’t or won’t take the information on board and appreciate what you are telling her then fuck her. Just talk about the weather and the price of cheese.

My DM does this too! She doesn’t do it to make herself feel better that she isn’t doing the new / exciting / cool / modern thing. She does it because it’s not what she would choose and is therefore wrong. It’s so laughable that actually I just laugh. You can’t take it personally OP, therein lies the path to madness.

I'm petty so I would probably do the same to her. Does she like swimming? Call it aquagym. Does she like knitting call it garning etc.

If you believe she is doing it for attention (although what attention? The attention of being corrected?) Then the best thing to do is to act like she said the right word and carry on with the conversation you use the right word and pretend she did too.

Back in the day when I was growing up people used to call cars buses, after all a car is just a small bus for families.

Or maybe that's utter nonsense.

Your mum sounds very annoying. Got me thinking. Mine once told me she wouldn't care if I died in childbirth. Lovely woman who defo knew her bikes from her trikes. You've got this OP. Onwards and upwards.

If she does it to wind you up well it worked doesn’t it

Why does it matter? My gran used to call all toddler bikes trikes. It really isn’t a big deal

I have to admit, I did this in the end.

Mum liked to paint- watercolours, specifically. I listened to many a tale of how she managed to get the light just right on this bit, or the shadow just right on that bit.

But when she used to ask about my 'judo', I would respond by asking about her portrait painting 😋

Yeah this is the sort of shit my dad does, it isn't funny, it's supremely annoying, but show any sign of exasperation and he gets all "calm down, it's a joke" and then I'm even more annoyed.

I had a wee bet with myself as to how many posts in it would take till someone mentioned early dementia….having had a parent diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in their 50s can I respectfully ask that people stop fucking doing this.

People can be thick and pig ignorant like OP’s mother without it being dementia!!!

What happened to tolerance?

Good luck when you get older, it comes to a lot of us, starts at peri menopause, gets worse at menopause and downhill onwards really.....

Calling it a trike is like saying “it’s not a big deal”.

It really isn’t. That’s the narrative you’ve chosen to adopt.

If she does it to get attention then you have given her exactly what she wanted and more importantly, an incentive to keep on doing it.

You always had the option to ignore her but you chose not to. You can’t control her, only how you choose to react.

Isnt it odd!! What’s the reason do you think?

Oh that'd get on my tits - I'd say 'Oh Mum... do we need to get you checked for dementia, only you've been told x times its a bicycle. it's very concerning you can't remember words you've been told several times and can't tell the difference between a bicycle and a tricycle...'

Or just ignore it, chances are she is doing it to get a reaction and to show how very little she cares for what you say.

My Dad had a habit of calling my mobility scooter and then wheelchair 'a buggy' or 'a chariot' - partly to annoy, but also to hide the fact he really DIDN'T want to admit I am disabled and need such things.

I'd go back to that if we could, these days he has forgotten I need such things completely, remembers me at around age 18, and is shocked and upset every time he sees or is reminded that I use a wheelchair.

I genuinely think I preferred him an irritating and rude person than a sad confused person!

yup as i said upthread, OP was massively pwned