AIBU to snap after my mum kept calling a bike a trike?

[Crayo]

i am looking to get my daughter her first bike. She’s 5 and has had a balance bike before but never a real bike. Everytime I speak to my mum she asks me if I’ve found a “trike” yet. I keep telling her it’s a bike I’m getting, 2 wheels” and she always says “oh yes, you know what I mean”.

Well this has been going on weeks and literally everytime I speak to her she asks about the “trike” and I constantly correct her and say “bike”. She does have a habit of asking the same question for weeks at a time and she also has form for deliberately saying the wrong words for attention and it’s tiring.

this morning I was at my mums and my sister was there. I went to toilet and when I came back my sister said “not being funny but isn’t DD old enough for a proper bike now?” I asked what she was on about as I am getting her a proper bike and she said “mum! You said she was getting a trike!”

So I lost it, screamed and shouted “stop saying it’s a fucking trike!! You know it’s not so just fucking stop it”

my sister said “Jesus Christ is there any need for that?” So I told her she’s been saying trike for weeks and it’s winding me up so she said “she gets mixed up, there’s no need to scream like that” but the annoying part is she doesn’t get mixed up!!! She does it on purpose and has been doing this for years!

Omg my mum did the exact same thing!! I did karate (although only ever got to brown belt) and my mum continuously called it Judo.

there are so many examples of this behaviour over the years!

Maybe just hurry up and buy the triike then she won't keep asking. I expect after weeks of talk about it your daughter is keen to get triking.

Don't encourage her.

Oh god, don't. It's going to be about as entertaining as the mousakka incident.

And that was boring AF.

Yep it’s annoying OP. It’s not as soul crushing as calling your child a slut whore or kicking them out agreed. Life is not a competition. And I fully believe she knows she’s saying it wrong every single time. To me this reads as someone is not interested in what I’m saying doing planning or they smile inwardly everytime because they are waiting for me to correct them so they can feign ignorance or ha ha ha I’m so silly and can’t remember. Information diet is a good idea or simply don’t correct her. If she fails to get the response she may stop trying to trigger you.

2 wheels is a childhood milestone. Enjoy the purchase and the use and ignore mum

Trikey, that must be annoying.

Just ignore it. You sound as insufferable as you are making her out to be.

Massive overreaction. She’s successfully managed to drive you to an angry response. Waste of energy. Just ignore her next time.

To me, this is the equivalent of ppl who say ‘house’ when they mean ‘home’ in conversation with a flat-dweller.

in other words, no biggie.

So you’d rather have a mum that ignores what you say and then never asks after things in your life? I think you’re actually lucky.

I find MN fascinating at times.

If this was a wife saying that her DH always ignored what she was calling things and deliberately said something close but not quite 100% wrong (eg karate/judo or bike/trike) the OP would be being told it’s gaslighting and abusive and deliberate to undermine her.

Yes because it’s a female older person ……:

O maintain the reactions wrong but that doesn’t mean her mums actions are right.

Have you spoke to her about how it wheelie gets on your nerves? Tell her you are two tired to listen and hope she back pedals before you brake down.

It's frustrating, but make it a game to ignore her.
She's doing it for attention, why are you giving it to her?

You sound like you are having THE MOST BORING conversations ever

can one or both if you have an affair get a terminal disease or get a large growth on hour arse that looks like a celebrity ?

going forward do not discuss mundane things and if you must, just do it the once ignore all references she makes to topic already

No, I would not call that gaslighting. Gaslighting isn’t being annoying by not caring enough to distinguish between two very similar, often equal things. Gaslighting is making the person question reality.

We go to a cafe...I'm always saying let's split a Bath Bun ...they sell Begian Buns my pal laughs if I do it, I try to remember..for some reason they are interchangeable in my head. I know they are different

Its such a small thing, can't imagine not just accepting what was meant...a very small act of love

As with all these far too enmeshed family arguments, just give your mother a wide berth for a couple of months. Nobody should be seeing someone who constantly irritates them.

I'm a bit unusual on here because really loved my mum and I got on very well with my mother in law. Even after I got divorced I still saw my then ex MIL and mourned her when she died, like my mum she was a decent, kind and generous person. The mere thought of screaming and swearing at my mum is an anathema to me. My dad was abusive, cruel and unkind and I kept my adult interactions with him very boundaried, I sitll never swore or shouted at him; you've lost once you go down to that level

Yep……..I know EXACTLY where you’re coming from. It an absolute fucking wind up!!!!! They know what they are doing. My mam was exactly the same and it used to make me grit my teeth so hard it hurt. I would do what one poster said and threaten her with a trip to the docs for a test.

I would mess with her and stare blankly and say “I never said I was buying her a trike, or anything like that. You feeling ok, mum?”

I started off thinking you were irritable and intolerant of your mum's habits but then I read this (and I can see OP agrees it hits the nail on the head):

In my case though it went on for over a decade and I'm positive was a ploy to be dismissive about something I cared about, but she thought was 'silly'.

This is/was absolutely true for my mother and it drove me insane. She'd say the same thing over and over trying to piss me off. I mainly didn't rise to it but a couple of times I lost it and snapped at her, then she would be hurt and offended for months. In isolation the examples sound silly but it's about someone taking joy from your life by slyly and repeatedly mocking something they don't "approve" of.

Maybe she has dementia too.