AIBU to snap after my mum kept calling a bike a trike?

[Crayo]

i am looking to get my daughter her first bike. She’s 5 and has had a balance bike before but never a real bike. Everytime I speak to my mum she asks me if I’ve found a “trike” yet. I keep telling her it’s a bike I’m getting, 2 wheels” and she always says “oh yes, you know what I mean”.

Well this has been going on weeks and literally everytime I speak to her she asks about the “trike” and I constantly correct her and say “bike”. She does have a habit of asking the same question for weeks at a time and she also has form for deliberately saying the wrong words for attention and it’s tiring.

this morning I was at my mums and my sister was there. I went to toilet and when I came back my sister said “not being funny but isn’t DD old enough for a proper bike now?” I asked what she was on about as I am getting her a proper bike and she said “mum! You said she was getting a trike!”

So I lost it, screamed and shouted “stop saying it’s a fucking trike!! You know it’s not so just fucking stop it”

my sister said “Jesus Christ is there any need for that?” So I told her she’s been saying trike for weeks and it’s winding me up so she said “she gets mixed up, there’s no need to scream like that” but the annoying part is she doesn’t get mixed up!!! She does it on purpose and has been doing this for years!

This

Very insightful and I think maybe nailed it

Yes, I think that's it, most children do have their first proper bike when they are about 4 or 5. My DS was behind in this because he has slight dyspraxia and couldn't ride one until about 7 or 8, there were other things he found difficult also but it was just one of those things.

Christ on a trike, YABU. My mother is difficult too but I’d never lose it like that. My sister does at times, but not over something as pathetic. Roll your eyes and ignore it. Apologise to your mother.

Your poor mum 😢 Really, was there any need for that disgusting outburst? My mum is 86 and I have learned to choose my battles carefully. You should apologise.

I visit her around once a month/six weeks.

I can see it's a bit annoying but surely you just say "yes, found one" when she mentions the bike. I
Absolutely no need to scream or shout in this scenario.

I don't know where you got that from saying.As the op is the one who scream shouted and swore at her mother with several f words

People are so weird projecting their own issues onto other people.

Yes, and are you really so stupid that you think I didn't notice?It was my own quote?

You've completely misconstrued what i've said

I know I have this bone of contention with my mother but it doesn't mean I hate her.I hate that she does that and it's very annoying

What i've never done is scream, shout and swear at her when she does it, which is what the op did. I just give her the side eye and we move on

You did pick up that I was throwing in your face. You're criticising me for hating my mother where i'm not the one who started a thread saying i've shouted and sworn at my own mother

Honestly, go and find something to do with yourself

Sounds like she might be confused so screaming at her is way over the top. Just calling a bike a trike is not important. YABU.

Yes, and are you really so stupid that you think I didn't notice?It was my own quote?

You've completely misconstrued what i've said

I know I have this bone of contention with my mother but it doesn't mean I hate her.I hate that she does that and it's very annoying

What i've never done is scream, shout and swear at her when she does it, which is what the op did. I just give her the side eye and we move on

You did pick up that I was throwing in your face. You're criticising me for hating my mother where i'm not the one who started a thread saying i've shouted and sworn at my own mother

Honestly, go and find something to do with yourself. You have way too much time on your hands to pick this apart

One of the most difficult, frustrating things about people who needle and deliberately behave in subtly infuriating ways is that when their target finally snaps at them, the target looks unreasonable and like they're massively overreacting. Just see all the posts on here about how she can't help saying the wrong word and they'd never speak to their mother like that and so on. It happens in romantic relationships too. It's like some people can't believe that patterns of behaviour are real, and that the OP knows her family dynamic better than they do - they just see the one incident and respond only to that.

I think @3tablets makes a fair point and it’s a running theme of this thread: so many families do seem to despise one another or at the very least feel very resentful towards one another. I count myself in this (having posted much earlier in the thread about my experience with the behaviour OP describes). The difference is I, like many others, am now very LC with the antagonistic family members. The question for those who aren’t is, why not? Why do you keep subjecting yourselves to appalling behaviour and stressful situations? What does that teach your own children?

As long as she isn’t buying it and turns up with one with 3 wheels - I would ignore

My husband and I both regularly use the wrong word for things it's just a neurodiverse quirk I think. None of our kids ever correct either of us we all know what we mean. One of the joys of my marriage, my second, has been finding someone who kind of just understood where my brain pulled out the wrong word.

I don’t despise my mum, but I do find her very very difficult (I have described some of her behaviour on this thread). I still see her (albeit I have reduced visits significantly) because she is the only living family member I have. I don’t know if she despises me, maybe she does.

You were unreasonable. I'd have asked you to leave. It's a roll your eyes and move on problem, not an abuse someone problem.

Screaming and swearing at your Mother over something so ridiculous is unacceptable. You owe her a huge apology.