AIBU to wish I'd had this lifestyle?

[ProfessorofDarkArts]

I'm reading a book about Queen Camilla - I'm not especially a royalist but I find her interesting. Not looking to debate that as I know she's not everyone's cup of tea.

She was raised, according to the book, in the country with a happy stable family, left school with few qualifications and instead spent time travelling - including Paris, Milan (I think) and London, then a Swiss finishing school and doing the Season ie a year of parties, before meeting her husband (and current husband). There was no expectation for her to have a career and no money worries - she had a sizeable inheritance. That's as far as I've got but I assume (relationships aside) her life would have been quite a nice one.

I know few people get those sort of opportunities and it's not really about the money although of course that helps. It's more the lack of being forced to work for God knows how long with only a couple of weeks off every year. I know QC works now (depending on how you view the royals) but I assume many women in her world wouldn't.

I grew up in a very different world and reading it just made me think - wow! I left school with reasonable qualifications, studied for a degree and have always worked. But at mid 50s I'm pretty - to use the modern expression - burnt out and have a definite sense of 'what has it all been for?' I think it's probably quite common to wish you'd made better choices but you can only do that with the options available to you.

AIBU to wish I'd gone to finishing school, had a pony and married the inspiration for Rupert Campbell-Black instead of busting my arse for years only to still be skint at 50-odd and counting the days till I can retire and get a break?

It means titled, but I take your point!

I don't think Camilla was ever longing for motivation. From what I've read and heard she was extremely happy to be "the laziest woman to have been born in England" (a quote from her own family) whilst merrily tucking into gin and tonics and buying horses.

Her main achievements in life have been being a mistress and through that becoming queen. I mean she has had a very comfortable life but literally just slept her way to the top.

I think her main achievements are her children and a long and happy marriage.

Yeah and then have an affair with the future king of England even though he is a married father of two. The pair of them are gross

I could not think of anything worse than being a royal.

Of course I’d want the money, but no amount of money can ever compare to my freedom.

I want to wear what I want, date who I want, have a career that I love, go out and get drunk, have fun with my friends etc - all things that I think would be restricted as a royal.

FWIW I am team Prince Harry and I would have 100% done the same as him.

Some say that they would have no purpose in this life ? Surely your job isn't what gives you purpose in life.

My purpose would be my health, my children , volunteering etc.

I would love this life so much.
To be given the gift of time .

You also probably did not have private doctors and private clinics allowing you to catch it super early, have a swift recovery and look amazing in a few months. Also not having to lift a finger while recovering, having your hair and make up done every day and just ease back off on a life of luxury and parties. The 3 peak challenge is probably the biggest effort she has done, having being prepped by personal trainers, nutritionists and any possible helper. That’s the real inequality, not so much not having to work, having access to the best hospitals and support when sick. Only money can buy that, especially in the uk where the nhs is so poor.

And that’s the queen of England. Lol

Nope, wouldn’t be for me. I’d be bored rigid. And there is nothing, ever, that would persuade me to become part of the royal family. Good job since I’m sure they wouldn’t want me either 🤣🤣

I'm struggling to feel any sympathy whatsoever for people like these, even given the faux lack of fulfillment bleats

Try being disabled, disaffected and living in a decrepit terraced house in Sunderland with seven kids, a feckless husband and not enough money.

Its still a choice at the end of the day. Theres nothing to say privileged people can't have a career. One of William and Harry's cousins was a probation officer! (Not giving away any secrets, its public knowledge).

Sure if you're also famous then yes its harder to have a "normal" job but solely being born into a wealthy family is not a barrier to a meaningful career. In fact surely its easier with money, a good education and connections.

Being wealthy gives you choices that most of us don't have. If these people want to just coast through life its up to them, I wish I could! But its a choice, it's not forced on them.

Queen Camilla works incredibly hard now. I come across her through charity work and she is very committed. She does such a lot for the charity I’m involved with. At 76 she puts in so much effort and I’ve seen how good she is at putting people at ease. Not a snob at all. I don’t think she had an easy life being vilified over her relationship with the King and I respect how she handled it. Yes, there’s a lot of money there and that is a huge privilege but she hasn’t sailed through life. I’m not even a royalist but I have a lot of time for her. Would I want her life? Not really, no.

Camilla has absolutely sailed through life - she is the very definition of privilege. Born to a life of ease, never had to work a day in her life. I’d love to have been born to that.

Oh and have hobbies but only approved ones - shooting, horses, landscape gardening

@honeylulu which hobbies aren’t approved ones?

I think Queen Camilla has had a tragic life - the marriage with the love of her life was not allowed, she wed the wrong man, she was vilified, had to hide all the best years of her life and only married her love in her 50s?

No, I would not swap my working-all-my-life life with Queen Camilla for all the ponies and trust funds in the world! To watch the love of your life marrying someone else, to see them splashed together all over front pages, to be vilified, compared, laughed at? I don't think I would have coped as well as she did, even if I had all the ponies in the world.

Not royalty but my mate is a drummer in 1950s rock and roll bands, he lived in California for years, drove a Cadillac convertible. I went out with him for a night in 1984 when I was 15...he DJ'd the club, copped off with 3 different girls and went home with a girl who looked like Marilyn Monroe ... So you think your jealous of the Queen.

I wouldn’t want that life.

But I see the appeal for others

You wouldn’t want to be born to a life of
wealth & leisure?

Would love it! No money worries, no bosses shouting at you, piling on the work and pressure and having to put up with to pay the mortgage and bills. Never having to clean or do laundry or sort anything out. Bliss.

A lot of these women are working voluntarily for charities and other causes. They just don't always publicise the fact. Having a private income gives you the freedom to donate your time. Having a position/influence within certain circles (whether you like it or not), opens doors and gets things done. Titled women can sit in the Lords. There's a lot of work being done in the background, a lot of it to do with women's and children's rights / healthcare / VAWG etc. It's not always what you know, it's who you know.

Not especially. It would be nice to have that as an option! But I’m a bit of a neurotic do-er if you get my drift.

Not to the same extent but I could’ve had this life. I could’ve stayed being supported by my family until I married a man that would’ve supported me. I chose not to marry the man and go to university instead.

I had the right breeding for a ‘soft life’ but I chose to do something rewarding instead and I have no regrets. I think I would’ve gotten bored pretty fast.

I dont really understand all the people saying they'd be bored.

She was still a mum. That's never boring, surely? (I mean, obviously some parts of being a mum.are really fucking boring!)

And a life of luxury doesn't automatically mean boring...imagine the things you'd be free to do! Even if you were vacuous and chose to just shop and prance about around the world.... I'm not sure boring is the word id use. Maybe not my preference for a full time occupation, sure.

So yeah, @ProfessorofDarkArts i know what you mean. Imagine being free from the shackles of millions of hours of work to pay for a 3 bed semi some swimming lessons and a holiday to benidorm every couple of years....and being free to do whatever it is you love to do instead...sounds bloody amazing.

Hard to say if you’d want her life bearing in mind how it turned out. But it was the ‘young, carefree, no pressure to work just enjoy life’ part I was quite aspiring to.