AIBU to think learning automatic is enough for a new (unconfident, adult) driver?

[Lexibletheflexible]

Woman in her 30s (not me, I can drive!) is wanting to learn to drive. Very little experience. What experience she has had lessened her confidence more (her dad, and a BF tried to teach her in her teens/20s, she never got the gist of it).

I think that it's fine for her to just do automatic. I think the UK is heading the same way as the much of the world.

Partner thinks that she should learn manual, because automatic only will be insufficient in the long term.

Who is right?
YABU- Him
YANBU- Me

Nothing wrong with just learning Automatic. She can learn manual later, if she so chooses. Totally valid license and if your friend is more confident that way, she needs no shade thrown at her. Maybe her partner should butt out of the decision.

This was my situation 4 years ago.
Everyone kept telling me “don’t learn in an automatic” blah blah but I was desperate to just pass after two awful manual instructors.
I passed first time in an automatic, 3 months before I turned 30.
I’m so glad I didn’t listen to those people, I’ve never struggled to buy a second hand car, I have my freedom.

Learn in the automatic if that's what makes you comfortable. Better to be able to drive and automatic than nothing at all
I did learn how to drive in a manual, but nowadays, automatics are increasingly common and I think if I was learning again I would just get an automatic license, I was an anxious learner and I think in reality it would have helped me to not have to worry about the clutch and gears and focus on less things.
Don't feel any shame about it, just go for it

Your logic is sound and many people learn with automatics for the same reason and they do just fine. I think some people are of the opinion that only being able to drive an auto suggests the minimum level of competence and when driving what could essentially be a heavy metal killing machine, the driver should be fully competent and knowledgeable of it. That’s also a fairly sound argument.

as long as she’s safe, who cares if it’s an auto? I recently lived to auto and bloody love it. Cars will only be auto in the future.

however, insurance for people who only have an auto licence is much higher than those with manual choosing to drive an auto (especially at first) because statistics show that they are less competent/more likely to crash.

One of my dds did automatic.no problem finding her an older automatic car.
We switched to auto ourselves 3 years ago. I still have a manual old car.far prefer the auto!

I've seen the statistics around higher insurance premiums but this was not the case for me or the few others I know with auto only licenses. I think the statistics may apply to the average young driver? I did auto later in my 20s and my insurance was not higher than average.

We’ve been talking about this for a different reason - our daughter will be learning in a couple of years and we just got a hybrid. So if we want to teach her a manual, we’d need to get one. So we’ve been thinking about if it’s ever actually going to be needed by the time she’s driving regularly.

The only thing we came up with was just a safety thing - it’s sometimes useful to be able to drive someone else’s car, particularly as a young adult if they get into problems etc. But honestly that seems pretty unlikely so it seems our daughter will just be learning on an automatic and we’ll see if that becomes an issue.

I think automatic is the way but how nervous and not confident? Because as much as idiots speeding and taking risks due to impatience really nervous drivers are also a big cause of accidents.

I'm going to suggest my son only learns automatic - he's dyspraxic, and I think having to figure out gears and steering will only be a recipe for disaster.

I haven't driven a manual (of my own) in about 10 years - either because I intentionally bought an automatic, or because it's electric. Even the hire cars i've had recently have all been at least hybrid and automatic.

It's fine.

I learnt on a manual 30 years ago, but hated them and have driven automatic for many years now.

Never had any issues. Hire cars and rentals are available as automatic and I've just bought second hand cars within my price range so cost doesn't really come into it.

One poster mentioned she might miss out on employment opps but unless she has a sudden burning desire to do a job involving driving a manual, it's not a big deal. She can always learn to drive manual later if she really needs to.

I got my DS to learn automatic. He's dyspraxic and co ordination is difficult so I felt it's easier for him and also safer (you can concentrate purely on the road and less on co ordinating your feet and hands, when to change gear etc). I have an automatic car and I love it!

Of course it’s fine - the majority of cars sold are automatic. There’s no need for anyone to drive a manual these days.

And how on earth could it affect employment opportunities?!

And you can hire automatics you know! All your arguments are void.

My daughter is about to learn and chosen just to do so in an automatic. Firstly we don’t have a manual for her to drive as both have EVs.

I don’t understand why anyone buys a new manual now - it’s like a stubborn resistance to make things easier for yourself.

I learned to drive aged 52, learned in an automatic and passed first time. Had one lesson in a manual and knew it wasn't for me. Had about 10 lessons in the automatic and passed first time.

I agree with no licence being more limiting than an auto licence, but that is declining by the year now.

DS1 is dyspraxic so would probably benefit from one less layer of co-ordination when learning in a couple of years.
DS2 is more co-ordinated and unlikely to have issues so a manual licence is more flexible... but that advantage is rapidly declining and we're about 5 years from a test pass.

I say this as someone who still much prefers my manual as I physically feel more balanced and engaged with my car. I hate having nothing to do with my left leg, and I think it's useful for observation/ planning which is good for mental engagement when you have to think about gears. I do not enjoy driving DH's 1.5 tonnes of go-kart and find it a more passive experience which is not good for concentration.

My father was constantly berating our driving instructor (taught 4 of us, poor man) for not teaching us how to double-declutch. I still don’t really know what it is, fifty-seven years on, and have never needed it.

Cars have evolved somewhat since my father started driving in the 1920’s and they continue to do so. So many are automatic now I really don’t think it will be much of a problem. Dd3 (oxbridge, not at all thick) could never get the hang of gears and finally managed to pass her test in an automatic, the only time it’s a slight issue is when renting a car, otherwise no problem at all.

I learnt in auto only I’m on my third second had car and had no issues finding decent cars and I can get to all the same places manual drivers can lol

I think the correct answer here is what does she want to do?

She's in her 30's and not a teenager so should be mature enough to understand that a competent instructor will be able to teach her manual if that's what she wants or she can just learn automatic.

She shouldn't base her decision on the teaching skills of her Dad and boyfriend.

She could have a couple of proper lessons in a manual then choose.

When I bought my first automatic in 2019 I was indeed very limited. Completely different kettle of fish when I replaced it this year.

The limitations just aren’t there any more. Hire cars abroad and 90% automatic in the places I’ve been. USA and Canada predominantly drive automatics and it was after multiple hire cars dh and I decided to get an automatic - there’s loads of them and mini for example are mostly doing autos now with very few manuals. Most companies are moving to eco friendly policies so pool cars are electric (so automatic). It really isn’t like it was even 5 years ago.

I think for nervous people automatic is a much better option. My mum learnt to drive in the 70’s but was never keen so Dad always did the bulk of the driving. Dad spent the first Covid lockdown researching automatic cars and bought one and we’ve not been able to get mum out of it since!! She now loves driving! Dad’s never been a passenger so much! He’s loving it!!

DSIL only has an automatic license for 20 years and it hasn’t been limiting for her in the slightest. They’ve always bought slightly older cars outright and run them until they need replacing, they don’t do that many miles so cars last forever.
We haven’t owned a manual car for 10 years and doubt we will again, unless we buy one for DD to learn in when she’s 17. Much better to be able to drive something than nothing!

I had so many people telling me I would regret only learning automatic when I passed.

never regretted it once. Never had any issues hiring cars abroad or paying for it etc.

I think there is a certain subclass of people who are absolutely adamant learning automatic is ‘cheating’ or lesser in some way and I just argue: does my car go from A to B like yours? Yes 😂

I think new manual cars are rapidly becoming defunct.

I’m buying a new car, it’ll be my first ever automatic, although I’m well used to driving them. Automatics have gone from being a minority choice to the majority of new car registrations.

Twenty years ago, an automatic-only licence was limiting, but not any more.

Even hire cars abroad can be requested in An Automatic now. I learnt manual but have driven an automatic for years and haven’t looked back.