Be honest, how hard is it going from 2-3 children?

[elm26]

Contemplating a third, we have 2 DC, eldest turned 3 a few months ago, youngest is almost 11 months.

We’ve had multiple unexplained miscarriages and I’m in my mid 30s and would love one more if we can. If I had another loss, I would call it a day.

My problem is, I found going from 1-2 so hard until DC2 was 6 months. 0-1 was a doddle for me personally. A lot of people say 3 is easier.

Honest opinions on how you found going from 2-3 please!

YABU - 2-3 is hell
YANBU - 2-3 wasn’t that bad

Baby three just had to fit in we had our routine I had a child going to school so the wake up time and schools runs were set in stone.

She was a clingy toddler though and I swear she would have climbed into my eye ball if she could have.

It was fine. A continuation of the chaos. The biggest thing is the expense - it makes a huge difference.

1-2 was really hard for me but 2-3 was a dream. I was already busy all the time looking after two so one more didn't make much of a difference. I also found that when my third was born, my elder two entertained each other a lot. Now mine are 8, 5 and 3 and then play together all the time.

I think it totally depends on the kids you have and the new baby’s personality as well as factors such as your support network/ paid childcare/ space/ spare rooms etc. it’s always a dice roll!

I’ve never known anyone say having 3 is easier than 2 though…!

I found 1-2 much easier than 0-1 because my second was a chilled sleepy baby, unlike number 1. He’s still a chilled sleepy toddler.

2-3 was easier than 1-2. I think the hardest part was by then dc1 was at school and so I had to get 3 children out of the house by 7:50 every day. And dc3 always wanted to feed at the worst possible moment.

I have 3 under 7. 3rd one is the happiest babe out of them all. She's fit right in. However...
it's hard. I work full time in a stressful job. I'm stretched too thinly. My husband is a great dad but doesn't help around the house or with the mental load. When sickness tears through the house and effects childcare it's HARD. No one will look after all 3 kids - which is fair just an observation 😂 - we divide and conquer a lot. I can already see the big two play together and the littlest will get left out.
I'd do it again in a heart beat for my youngest and while on maternity leave it was the best time id had post natally with any of them but the life juggle now I'm not is really tough.

Three is hard. And expensive. For us, definitely worth it but do not underestimate how much extra work it is. They need you in different ways as you get older and it becomes less physically exhausting but a million times more emotionally draining

I am 6 months in with baby number 3 now. I have found it so much easier than going from 1-2. 1-2 was an incredibly difficult transition for me, I was expecting to find adding a third much harder, but I think it is because I’m used to juggling the needs of more than 1 child and my oldest is now 5, so a bit more independent. Good luck!

This is one of those things where there’s probably no point asking because the heart wants what it wants.

We are in constant chaos and burnout at the moment with the number of small children we have, but we are still set on having another.

Why? Because we love love love parenthood, we hope the chaos and burnout will decrease eventually, and in the long term we’ll then have the family we’ve consistently always talked about having.

I don’t think there’s anything someone with three children could tell us to change our minds!

I think age gaps make a huge difference here. Going from 1-2 was hard for me because there was only an 18-month gap. Then 2-3 was a breeze because there was a 4-year gap and DC1/DC2 were already in school/nursery.

Also depends on the child (which is unpredictable, of course). DC1 and DC3 were easy, placid babies, but DC2 was very difficult, which made my 1-2 transition particularly hard (and why I left a 4-year gap!!).

Wasn’t that bad -because I had 4 years between all my three. I certainly wouldn’t have contemplated another when my babies were 11m old! I couldn’t cope with two babies or do the 2 under 2 thing.

I just had my third a couple of weeks ago and I’m absolutely in love, it’s been the best transition by far!

However we had our first two within two years and left it a little longer with this one and that’s made it a lot easier. Our youngest is 2.5 and they have more understanding and independence, they have each other to go off and play with while I’m feeding the baby, and I think as they’re already used to sharing attention they’ve not actually shown any jealousy! Even the youngest is old enough to hold the baby sensibly and he’s absolutely smitten with her. So I’d suggest just holding off that little bit longer! ❤️

I’ll let you know in September.
I have a 9 year old, a 1 year old as of last week and I’m due DD3 in September.
I’m assuming it’s going to be absolute chaos but will be lovely in various moments throughout 😂

I only have two, but I have heard a mix of things. Some found it easy and the baby just had to tag along with their other kids. One thing that stuck with me (and probably put me off ever having a third) was one mum saying that for her, having three dcs was "like you are drowning and someone gives you a baby to hold"!

I think she had three quite close together though and after the early years it all seemed a lot easier

I found 2-3 the easiest transition baby wise. I was used to no sleep and no time. My youngest 2 are 13 months apart.

However. Overall 3 children is rough. It’s very hard to balance everyone’s needs and it’s a financial struggle if your not well off.

You don’t have enough hands. There’s never enough time to make sure you’re there for school appts x3 if you work. There’s always someone left out. Silly things like someone has nobody to sit with on the rollercoaster but it’s every time you want to do
something. You’ll need a bigger car to carry all the stuff and stop the arguments when someone has to sit in the middle.The cost of holidays are astronomical as most deals or rooms are designed for 4 people. Days out are expensive for the same reason.

Im not at the point of paying for the more expensive things but I can’t imagine paying for three lots of driving lessons etc will be fun. 3 meals at a restaurant is tough enough.

So I would say baby wise it’s easy but once you’re over that bit it’s much harder!

mentally I find 2-3 the easiest jump.
logistically and economically it’s crazy, and the crazy gets worse as they get older.

but the best accident that ever happened to me by a long way. So Much Joy.

Go for minimum 3 year gap. Soooo much easier

As hard as it is going from one to two. I actually don’t know but that’s what I’d assume. I stopped at 2, DS was a hard baby, put me off for life.

Thanks everyone!

I don’t want to leave a big age gap due to the fact I think I wouldn’t want to start all over again with bottles/nappies etc that far down the line.

I am 3 months in with DC3 and it's hard but I love it. Eldest is 6, middle just turned 4. We dithered for over a year but I'm so glad we chose to try for a 3rd. 0-1 was the hardest for me, 2-3 has been fine, DC3 is verryyyy chill, goes with the flow, she does have hip dysplasia so we have a lot of extra medical appointments but it's manageable. We have no family support locally either.

Going from 2 to 3 was really hard for me, probably because DC3 was the worst sleeper of the three by miles and then a very tricky toddler whereas the older two were quite compliant. Now they're all teens which is also hard!