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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to ask how to manage my autistic son's behaviour?

1 reply

Lasagneoverlettuce · 30/07/2026 17:20

So my son is 12 and autistic with PDA and developmental delays and I’m really struggling with his behaviour. He always struggles at the end of term with the changes in routine and the upcoming break, but he usually settles into the holiday within a few days. Not this year, this year he’s awful. He literally just won’t do as he’s told, is rude, defiant, mean to his sister and basically an asshole. He won’t do anything he’s asked to do and it’s ruining our summer. When we go out he’s difficult and only behaves when it’s something he specifically wants to do. When we are at home he is destructive, screams and shouts all the time. If I try and leave a room he will follow me around shouting and calling me names, if I try and close a door he will try and smash it open. If I tell him to leave he just laughs and says it’s his home and I can’t make him. and he’s right. I can’t physically make him because he’s as tall as I am and I don’t want to make it a physical match. He doesn’t care about anything so threats of losing iPad/phone/money etc don’t work. He doesn’t care. I’m a single mum and I’ve had to cancel holiday club because he refuses to go.

I literally just don’t know what to do. He goes through moods like this but it’s usually because he’s worried about something. But it’s been going on over a month and it’s not changing. I just don’t know what to do. How do I force a child to do as they’re told?

OP posts:
AlwaysSometimesNever · 30/07/2026 17:30

This sounds really tough OP. Summer holidays are hard sometimes for families living with the conditions you describe.
Several families I work with have been lucky to have an excellent Early Help worker. One self referred and 3 others I referred through school. The quality of some EH can be a bit patchy due to inexperience largely but some support is excellent.

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