What age did your kids wash themselves?

[catcatmewomeow]

I have two step kids aged 6 and 9. Love them both but I do feel like they could do with some more responsibility and independence appropriate for their age, particularly the eldest.

SD9 still requires her dad to sit outside the shower and give instructions regarding how to wash. I feel that she should be allowed some privacy at this age, particularly given that she has started to show symptoms of puberty.

To be fair, everyone is happy with this arrangement and it doesn’t bother any of us but I feel that solo showers would be a good stepping stone into becoming an ‘older’ child.

How old were your kids when they started to manage their own hygiene and what did this entail? Did they brush their teeth without being prompted, for example? Or will that never happen? 🤣

Any advice appreciated :)

Why doesn't she know how to wash herself? He shouldn't keep having to repeat instructions. Mine could wash themselves years earlier ( although only got left alone with earshot at about 5 for safety reasons).

Absolutely the 9yr old should be given privacy. Thing is kids don't always know how to change situations, they expect adults to step in. Tell your dp to leave his kids alone to shower.
Ours are older but certainly by 5 and 6 independent washing should be encouraged and 100% by 9. Same with brushing teeth.

9 and 11 year olds here. Always need reminding of teeth 😭 usually they've done it, but not always.
They've showered alone and washed themselves in the shower for ages, probably since about 5. DS needed help with hair until maybe 7ish and DD a bit older as she has v long, thick hair. Even now at 11, I'll tend to help her with shampooing maybe every 3rd or 4th wash to prevent a build up of product.

Yes they should be brushing their own teeth, washing their own hair, showering independently. The thing I struggled with was hair brushing- they really hated that. Persevere though. My DD now looks back on pictures of her 8 year old self and asks me why I let her have such wild hair and I told her that she wouldn't brush it herself and I had to catch her first 😂

I don’t really know. I know I said I don’t have a problem with it and I guess I don’t really but as she’s getting older it makes me a bit uncomfortable sometimes when her dad is stood there watching her shower. But I never had that sort of close relationship with my dad which probably explains that. I feel the girl needs some privacy and independence or else she won’t be able to cope when she does hit puberty and has to do it all alone.