Adopting a dog when son wants a specific one we might not be successful applying for

[gerries]

We visited a dog cafe recently where they have rescue dogs as well as people bringing their own dogs. We have been thinking of rescuing this breed of dog for a while now and I wanted to see how my son got on with them. Thought it would be a nice experience (and it was!) however we have applied for a specific dog and we may not be successful (they have a lot of applications).

My son doesn't know I am considering even getting a dog as I don't want to get his hopes up re a process that can take a long time.

Problem is, he fell in love with a specific dog (the one I applied for) and he has cried over this dog every night since we left. I am now thinking what the bloody hell have I done?! Never known him to get so attached to an animal so quickly before.

If we don't get this dog, how do I deal with potentially getting a different one? I worry about him hyperfixating and no other dog ever being good enough. Possibly being daft. It may be that he falls in love with any dog we get.

Just feeling a bit overwhelmed and emotional about it all as he formed a real bond (the dog ignored everyone else and just wanted to be velcroed to him so I can see why he is acting the way he is!).

How do I manage this moving forward? Do I pause and give it a few months for him to 'forget' the other one? Any dog people here who can advise?

Really hope it works out for you! When are you likely to hear? Keep us posted.

ah how lovely are you two!!! I am well jel over the doggy cafe :)
I hope you two are happy with whichever dog you get/ for site it’s one lucky hound to land with you x. Best of luck

Which animal told you they have no concept of the future?
Why do humans continually think they can know what animals think or feel.
If you want to kill an animal because we have power to do it, then own it. Don't start rationalising it by pretending you know what an animal thinks to make yourself feel better about killing them.
My goats for example, very much know what the year is bringing. They physically change, for a start. When they start getting a thicker coat they know winter is coming. They know as a kid that they will have their own kids in the future. They see it in the herd. There is loads of things they know are coming in the future and loads of things they do to ensure the future is how it needs to be for the collective herd. Wild goats move to new areas so the pasture in the spring will be good for weaning kids. That's a different pasture than ideal for mature goats. That's looking 9 to 10 months into the future after birth and weaning to create the best environment for kids not even born. Why in advance? To build up environmental immunity for their kids in the first critical week after birth.
Tell me that's not looking to the future.

Not sure what dog you are after but im sure he fall in love with any.
re age have you considered ex racing greyhound they are suitable and gentle for young children. Some rescues say older only because as large muscular dogs coukd knick into a toddler. You sound sensible im sure any rescue centre woukd be able to help. The smaller ones sometimes better as have more time to talk through your needs.

I’d have said very plainly that the dog he met wasn’t our dog, which at this stage is entirely factual.

I don’t think perusing this particular dog is a good idea in general if your son is getting this fixated from a short meeting and you’re not able to manage his reaction to it.

I think you are putting too many human traits onto animals. Can't think of the word right now

Soul dog. Now I have heard everything.

Take no notice, adult dogs can be fine with children, especially if they've lived with them before.

Ever had any contact with an XL bully? Dogs are a product of what owners make them and stupid irresponsible owners make for very nervous dogs. They are quite an anxious breed anyhow regardless that people see them as 'devil' dogs.

I had one and my aunt still does. She was given it by a rescue in her 60s way before the ban because he's a huge couch potato.

So just drown them all in the river?

Aren't most rescues available adults? I guess it depends on the breed, but the ones I've known rarely have puppies available.
OP, why not ring the breed welfare society (or some similar breeds, he no doubt will love any dog that's his) and get registered/home checked etc.
You could get him learning about dogs in general, reading up and watching videos with you about how to care for them.

Why would you advocate euthenasia for him then?

OP I think your DS might be hyper focusing on this dog, but I can’t see why he won’t love another dog.

the thing with dogs is is that we ‘imprint’ on them- and psychologically we see that as the ‘perfect’ animal for us. I can see it in the breed the I love - which isn’t a brachycephalic dog, which is by the by really. My dog is the ‘perfect’ dog to me and her image is burned in my brain because I love her.

i am autistic and I know that dogs can bypass a lot of the social issues we have with humans and make a really lovey supportive connection.

get a sensible calm dog.

I have rescued dogs for many years ( all breeds) and now as my user name suggests, I now have cross pug breeds. There is a retro pug movement to bring the pug breed back into line with how it used to be with proper snouts and longer legs..One of mine definitely has a snout and he has zero breathing issues at all. The other one's face is a bit flatter but he is healthy and both can go for miles. Biggest thing is keeping their weights down.
Pugs ( and crossbreeds), are great dogs to have, and generallly great with children BUT, like all dogs, and particularly rescues, they need to be assessed for suitability.
My oldest rescue pug x is a sweetheart, but when he landed with us, he had behaviorial issues due to his past , that took us a LOT of work to get him to be the sweet boy he is. I would never have let my grandchildren be alone with him and taught them how to behave around dogs.
My older grandkids love them, and he happily curls up with them or plays and brings them his toys.He's great with my younger two as well, but my 3 year old DGS wants to hug him, and although the dog just walks off, I wouldn't ever take the risk and put either of them in a situation where something could happen.
Children need to understand dog behaviour and body language before having a family pet.

OP I think what you are doing is very kind and caring and getting a rescue dog and being able to provide a home for them is wonderful. I hope it works out for you and your son. Keep us updated! 🤞😊

Overall, the breed has faulty genes that make them all unsafe. Mine was also a cuddlebug.

Well, no, that's why you have to source and ethical breeder, and breed.

No you can humanely euthanise. We do it to animals all the time.