To be really struggling with the summer holidays?

[DingDongDitched]

We’re less than 2 weeks in and Jesus Christ, I’m struggling! I’ve bought passes for the local play farm so we’ve been there a couple of times and we’ve been to a show and the circus, but I can’t afford to be doing big days out all the time other than the park etc.

My eldest never wants to do anything and when we go out he moans he’s bored and wants to go home (he’s 9) but when we’re home he winds his sister (4) up and just makes a mess and causes chaos. My DH works from home so I feel like I have to get out so he can hear his calls.

it’s the constant mummy mummy mummy, if I didn’t have to do normal house things it wouldn’t be too bad but I start to do washing and it’s mummy I need a wee, mummy when can you play, mummy sister/brother has got my toy ARGH!!! Youngest starts school in September so im telling myself to enjoy this time but its hard.

any solidarity? 😅

I think it's perfectly acceptable to let the house stuff go a bit during the day and your husband can pitch in after work. If he doesn't like the idea, let the kids fight outside his office door while you clean the kitchen!

Can you set a timer for 15 minutes and say this is your special mummy playtime and do 15 mins play of their choice, then set up an activity for them for 10 mins while you stick a wash on etc?

My children are generally happier with friends around especially at age 8+ so can you arrange some play dates for your DC?

Can your husband work somewhere else for a few weeks?

It's normal for children to need to settle in to the holidays, and in my experience, for them to be fed up of each other in the last week - a sign that they are ready to go back!

Need to be able to be at home some of that time though. Not reasonable to expect you to be out all day, every day.

Can your DH not go and work elsewhere? Your life would be much easier and cheaper if your kids could enjoy their own home.

I recommend planning 7 days of things and rotating. So day one could be supermarket shop and Taco night. Day two, park trip and painting etc. It brings some routine to it.

I also recommend audiobooks and headphones while you get on with things.

And invited play. So just dump a toy they haven't played with for a while in the middle of the sitting room.

Or ask them to sort toys out to go for charity. Guaranteed hour of demonstrating they must have every toy.

You are being unreasonable on yourself.
Maybe your DH could go to the office or find a work space in your area.

If you have a garden hide things out there and tell them to find certain things. You give them a Picture list of what you want found & put some stuff in the list that isn’t in the garden. So your DC can’t just tick things off.

Give them rules

1. They should not move the item.
2. They can put down any bugs they see.
3. Will you come out once the washing up has been done.

Tomorrow the nine year old can do the washing up of the breakfast things. You will dry up. Then 4 year old can help with stacking up plates & you can put them away. — This gets them used to doing the dishes. Every home has dishes for the foreseeable future.

Play dates so they each have a friend over - arrange for them both to visit friends on the same day so you get some time off. Aren;t there any free museums near you or parks where there are animals? And forget the housework.

I think it’s unreasonable to make the DC hang out with each other all the time. They are different ages. I’d be booking one week of sports/activity Day camps where they can have fun with their own age group.

Do you have a garden? If so, a trampoline? I WFH during the summer as well so I take my laptop out and make them run around in the garden/ on the trampoline most days. I’ve planned it so we have one big day out a week too and we might have a couple of smaller trips to the library, local museum in between.

I think too many parents make lives hard for themselves.
School holidays are 9+ weeks long here a you don’t get the same need to go and do a big paid activity everyday that seems common in England.
I tend to do one real unstructured day to catch up on house stuff, a few little park/shops/ beach/ library days where we maybe nip out once or twice locally, maybe one bigger play date day and the paid event days are scattered through the holidays but certainly not multiple a week!

Escape room is always a good one. Give them a really complicated clue each then lock them in their bedroom for the day.

Leave snacks 😁

(As there are some utter bellends on here who will take this literally and start screaming about this suggestion and reporting me to Mumsnet, 101 and Andy Burnham's mother I'd just like to point out that I'm joking.)

(Maybe.)

It is fucking tough. I’ve been there. Now they’re abit older and it feels easier. When the youngest was at his worst he went to an activity camp where he was far happier and so were we! It was a low key, local type camp for £22 a day. Worth every penny.

I am on the countdown til they're back...Two weeks today! I hear you OP. I get my youngest 8yo asking me questions every 5 minutes. Can I get an ice lolly? Can I get a biscuit? Can I do x y or z? 😖

Just to say, it will get better! 9 and 4 can be tricky ages.

Would the 9 year old respond to a scavenger hunt type activity when out at park for example with a (small) prize at the end?

I think sometimes they need tiring out a bit, can they do some Joe Wicks’ type exercise? 😆🤷🏻‍♀️

It’s unreasonable for you to pay to do sth every day and unsustainable for most families. We did lots of park/playground trips and kick arounds with friends to run off a bit of steam, picnic lunch and maybe an ice cream. Splash pad was always popular. Had a NT pass for a year which was good value for money.

One chore for each child per day to ‘help’ and learn a bit of responsibility.

My eldest loved to cook so she did that, Was a bit messy but she’s a great little cook now at 14.

Found this
https://themanylittlejoys.com/daily-summer-schedule-for-kids-that-will-save-your-sanity/

might help! Solidarity and all the best.

You’ve got to let the house go over summer holidays, it’s beyond tough but plan a big clean after the holidays and schedule 15 minutes a day tidy round and vacuum.

When we were little we had one BIG day out to the fun fair/zoo etc in the summer holidays and we were buzzing for it when it came around to THE DAY!!! The kids now expect to be doing something i would have considered big every day- so it’s not exciting for them anymore. I’ve noticed this with mine!

Ive decided this year we’ll do a paid activity once a week this summer. Cinema today- movie madness, £5 tickets for 10:30 showing. Otherwise walks, family visits, park, (god forbid!) TV or screen time!

Try to enjoy it tho, my 14 year old is now out and about, not very interested in spending any time with us. I miss her xx

Planning something really fun once a week is ample. They can learn to amuse themselves the rest of the time. That way the fun trips are genuinely appreciated.

We are visiting family this weekend around DH's shifts so really looking forward to getting away for a bit.

It’s really hard having children at home with someone WFH. I know it doesn’t bother some people but if it does bother you then it’s hard to relax and just let things go.

Mine are 8,3 & 18months. It’s tough, the boys like to be outside so they are out as much as possible! Luckily my CM still works so youngest 2 go 2x a week, we don’t do fancy days out as £££ , we do a reward chart for treats ect . Not much advice unfortunately but I feel your pain!

Do you have a local library or museum that has stuff on for kids? Any local community centres? Any events happening in the local park? Fun and floats sessions in a nearby swimming pool? Kids clubs at a local church? Cake decorating at a cafe? I quite like planning out the summer in my calendar with things that are happening nearby. I find if you have things to look forward to the home days don’t drag as much! We have loads of free stuff near us but you do have to look for it. Some people in the same town as me are always amazed if I tell them what we’re doing in the holidays as they had no idea it was all on.

Also, if your husband is at home, though working, if your 9 year old really wants to stay in could you let him the odd day while you take the little one out? Mine is also 9 and she’s sometimes happy to just watch TV most of the day so would be fine in the house with an adult in another room.

Camps, play dates and time with relatives breaks it all up. You don’t have to have them 24/7 for 6 weeks! What are you doing for yourself? Self care is crucial too.
Do you work? I agree that DH should work outside the home sometimes. He should also take some annual leave to have the kids.

Don’t worry about the housework; play with the kids. You’ll often find once they’ve had some good quality attention, they’ll then play happily.

The other trick is to involve them in the housework - mine used to help me fold towels for example. Things they can manage.

As for their father WFH - can he either go into the office or have some times off?

Yes solidarity it’s not easy but you’re right to enjoy it while you can.

Can your DH take some annual leave to give you a break at least?
X

I feel your pain I have kids the same ages as yours plus a 7 year old in the middle and it is hard! It’s the constant low level squabbling that escalates so quickly that tires me out the most. I’m going to miss my 4 year old so much when she starts school and I’m trying to enjoy having them all at home but it’s exhausting. I’m doing one fun trip out a week like the cinema, swimming, soft play etc but it’s so expensive to take all 3 of them out. The rest of the time we are just doing stuff at home or out and about in the local area.