AIBU to keep flying annually to visit my elderly birth mother abroad?

[NothingLeftToInheritDarlings]

I was adopted here in the UK and in later life, I found my birth mother. She is an Australian who was over here working and was seduced by a chap who didn't want her to have his baby. So she reluctantly left me behind and went home, married and had 4 more children. She's now 93 and still on fantastic form and we get on incredibly well.

I take a long-haul flight every year to go and see her - my DH comes too and we try to switch around where we break the journey so that we can also visit places like Indonesia, Sri Lanka etc. When we are in all these countries we opt for train or bus travel.

Recently I have had some very negative comments from a couple of local acquaintances about these flights; telling me I'm contributing to global warming etc.

Realistically, my birth mum probably won't live a lot longer, and when that happens, I'm unlikely to fly again. When we visit Oz and other countries we use public transport and we are well-behaved recyclers, buy second hand clothing, grow our own veg and waste almost no food.

Are others here in a similar situation - and what are we suposed to do about it?

People who talk about reducing their environmental footprint are often quite serious about it across the board. So they would actually be quite unlikely to fly to a hen weekend or go to Turkey or Egypt. And wouldn't dream of flying somewhere for a weekend or a football match. In our friendship group we have quite a few families who spend more money to get to summer holidays by train than they would pay to fly, because they believe it's important.

For example, there are now sleeper trains to Prague and Vienna making sunshine in central Europe accessible for bike touring. These are families who also minimise driving, eat mostly vegetarian, reduce clothes purchases, reuse and recycle, eat food with minimal packaging etc.

I think if you don't take climate change seriously and don't have this mindset, it easy to assume everyone who preaches it is a hypocrite. But there actually are people who live their lives like this with a high degree of consistency.

Having said that, I don't think any of them would criticise someone flying out to see a frail and elderly parent. There isn't an alternative way to do it, and it's very different to saying fuck the environment, I'm going to do as many extreme day trips as I can, for example.

I

It’s your mum
without hesitation I’d keep going

And I’m someone who has reduced flying due to concerns about carbon footprint
visiting family is a totally acceptable exception. Plus she’s old!

Tell them to fuck off.

You could just off-set your carbon if it bothers you.

have you seen how many flights taylor swift takes? don't worry about it

I fly as much as I want. And don't care what people say

I wouldn't give what these people say, any thought whatsoever. You are spending time with your biological Mum, who I am sure loves to see and spend time with you. She's elderly, so it's a trip you won't be taking forever, so make the most of taking the trips whilst your Mum is still here. Some people like to poke their judgemental noses into other people's business. What you do, where you travel or how you travel has bugger all to do with this couple.

You’re being very unreasonable to even give a thought to this snidely bollox. You go where you want and you live your life. It sounds like you have a lovely life and a wonderful attitude. Enjoy your trip for as many years as possible ❤️

This.

Who gives a flying fuck what these people think?

Taylor Swift takes 10 minute flights like others take the bus. You not taking an ANNUAL flight to see your birth mother or any person frankly is a drop in the ocean. Everyone else can get down off their high horses.

Snap!

And I don’t even hate her for it. Until major actors like China or India etc etc pack it in, what the rest of us do is inconsequential in comparison.

I never go anywhere, so you can have my emissions quota.

Jealousy is a disease, and theyre infected!

Honestly babe, enjoy your life. People who preach are usually too poor to partake anyway xx

The other half of my family is in Australia. Although I’ve only been out a few times in my lifetime they regularly come over here to visit elderly parents. We don’t cut off our family who live in different countries.
I’m heading out for the first time in 26 years for a couple of weeks and can’t wait to see everyone (including the older members who no longer travel) next year. Do these highly critical people have family over 12,000 miles away?

How wonderful that you’ve got a relationship with your birth mum. Long may it continue and I’m sure you’ll enjoy your next visit - make the most of it!

There's been many threads past few days saying how everyone in the UK should try and reduce their emissions. Like how you should limit flying holidays and not have kids.

Tell them to shut up and you will continue seeing your mother as long as you wish .

I haven’t left this country since the 1970s, @NothingLeftToInheritDarlings, and only flown within GB twice since then.

You can have all the virtual airmiles of virtue I must have accrued.

Take no notice.

I’ve always said people should hugely decrease their flying except for in the case of family. The people who moan at you are making other people feel guilty for their choices and probably doing equivalent when they get home!!!

Ignore the comments and enjoy your visits with your birth mum.

I'd love my adopted son to meet his birthday mum, he is only 15 and not interested in seeing her again yet.

Please do not allow random folks to make you question your kind decision to stay in touch your birth mum.

What a beautiful thing to say - thank you!

Thanks everyone for your incredibly positive affirmation - I was having a bit of a down day, and you've totally cheered me up!s