She and her husband are professionals doing the same job but she's expected to do all the childcare (I mean all) and it's been like that since the first was born eleven years ago, youngest is nine. He's a prick and I think she should leave him but not my place to say and we don't quite have that sort of friendship - I think she'd find it very rude if I suggested it, actually.
I've tried very hard over the years to keep in touch and be as flexible as possible (any time, any place, happy to come to hers for a coffee in the garden if she can't get out, happy for her to come to mine with the kids if she needs to). But she almost never firms up a plan and on the rare occasions she does she will arrive and immediately say she has to go in 45 minutes because of some bullshit thing her husband supposedly needs to do then she spends the entire time looking at her watch.
You're probably thinking there's an abusive dynamic because I know that's how her behaviour seems written down but I actually don't think there is(aside from the arguably abusive refusal to let her have a life but I'm not sure she's ever said no to him and I think she thinks this is normal?).
Anyway, all of this is shit and depressing but what's really annoying me is that she seems increasingly to blame me for us rarely meeting! She'll say oh we hardly meet up oh I hear you were seeing so and so as though I'm cutting her out somehow and her isolation is down to me. It's really pissing me off a lot at this point. I will say to her I can meet any time unless I'm literally at work or away on holiday and I'll move other stuff around but she never gets around to it then she will quite venomously complain that I don't make effort to see her.
Aibu to just stop trying at all? (She's also one of those people who brags about wealthy a lot which I could kind of do without anyway)