AIBU to object to my husband taking a large loan for a friend?

[Sefal]

My husband has had a friend for some 40 years, it is probably more accurate to describe his friend as being like a brother to him.

His friend has recently got into some financial difficulties due to a building project costing more than expected. His friend has no way of obtaining money to finish the building project, and without money to finish it, the whole project will need to be ‘written off’, essentially throwing tens if not hundreds of thousands of pounds away and facing bankruptcy. My husband then offered to get a loan out for a lot of money (tens of thousands), to give to his friend on the promise his friend pays it back (plus the interest) when the project is completed. His friend has leant him money in the past, but it has always been from his savings never anything like this. It’s also been small amounts - a couple of grand here and there.

I think this is absolutely insane. Me and my husband both earn very well, but we do not have any savings and have loans and debts ourselves. We have also committed to some very high expenses ourselves for the next few years, and my husband in particular has been very anxious about money, which has in turn made me very anxious and I have been trying to find ways to increase our income. This loan would be hundreds of pounds a month, which as I pointed out, why are we worrying about money when my husband can afford an additional hundreds of pounds on a loan?

I also pointed out things such as:

what if your friend can’t pay you back
what if the project costs more
what if you need it paid off and your friend wants more time
what if your friend falls ill
what if you lose your job
what if you fall out with your friend

Essentially pointing out all the reasons why this is nuts. I also told him that if he chooses to do this, I won’t be supporting him nor will I be taking any notice of his fretting about money or wanting to live frugally. I’ve told him if it affects our lives e.g him saying we can’t afford something, I’ll be reminding him of his ridiculous loan. We’ve had a massive argument because of it.

AIBU?

That must be a huge relief for you OP. A difficult conversation but sounds as if you got your points across and its good that your OH will focus on other ways to help now.

Really glad to hear it

Exactly this 30k won't fix this mess and finish the project it might keep it going another month or so

I’m really pleased that common sense has prevailed.

Phew! Thanks for the update OP

I’m so glad your FH has seen sense. I can see why your DH would want to help a DFriend but if no money lender will touch him, there is very little chance he could pay back the loan and that would be the end of the friendship anyway.

OP would you consider visiting the land registry website to register for alerts to any change to the property status ? Just for peace of mind.

That’s a really good call.

Its a No however you look at this one.

Well done, OP. I'm sure you'll be able to help the friend in significant ways that don't put your own security in peril.

ETA: so glad it worked out, OP!