AIBU not buying my 2yr old a new birthday present?

[pontipinemum]

My DS is turning 2 next week and I don't think I shouldn’t buy him anything.

He already has everything he needs or wants. My older DS is 4, and I still have three full Kallax boxes of toys from when he was that age that DS2 hasn’t even seen yet. There are also gifts in there that are still too advanced for DS1.

I did a huge clear/ sort of the toys last year and gave a huge box of small baby stuff away for free, and sorted the rest.

We’ve always been fairly limited with toys. At Christmas they get one bigger present, one smaller present, a few surprises and a stocking. I think they still get plenty but not huge piles like I see online.

I’m the same on holidays/ days out. I don’t buy souvenirs or another little teddy every time we go somewhere because they already have plenty.

I’ve looked at some of the Fisher-Price animal sets, but he already has two that are very similar to the one he doesn’t have, so it feels pointless.

Would a cake and a few toys brought out from the Kallax boxes that he doesn’t know exist be enough?

I feel a bit guilty because it’s not that we can’t afford to buy him something. We could take him into a toy shop and let him choose whatever he wanted. I just really dislike buying things for the sake of buying them.

YABU - This is stingy
YANBU - It is fine

You’re fine. The world is filled with plastic crap from peoples over consumption.

toys aren’t the only gifts. Don’t always make your son have his brothers old stuff as it means he’ll never have anything that’s only his.

It would definitely be enough, my only worry would be that your elder child would remember that the toys belonged to him and be upset?

I’d just wrap up one of the toys you have and get him some playdoh or a magic colouring book that you will use up.

What about some beautiful books and a couple of the toys you have?

I couldn’t not get him something. One new toy that is only his and an outfit, book or a consumables item like play doh.

It's fine, but we have a similar age gap and one reason we give the younger one presents is so that the older one sees they are being treated equally. Ours tend to trash their clothes so we might get some nice new clothes for the little one as many of DC1's things are not really suitable for handing down. Or something else that he's going to need anyway.

Because there is only 2 years between them and they are both boys I am conscious of him having his own things. I buy the vast majority of our clothes on vinted, but he has got new (old) clothes that have never belonged to his brother.

One thing to unwrap, perhaps. Then put whatever you might have spent in a savings account for him, or set it aside for when he's older and wants bigger things like a bike or laptop. He'll appreciate it more then.

YANBU to not buy things for the sake of it but I'd probably still try to find a few more bits. It doesn't have to huge - most of the fun at his age is the opening!

Some ideas:

A bath bomb that turns the water a funny colour to play in.
A garden toy or bubble thing to play with in the garden.
Pj's with a favourite character or animal on.
A book or two (no such thing as too many books).
If he's allowed chocolate then wrap up a small chocolate bar.

One of friends kids loves blueberries so much you could wrap up a punnet and tell him it's all his and he doesn't have to share and he'd be delighted!!

He actually has a lot of books too, he likes to 'read' them but I won't let him use the library ones yet as he still rips them.

But a book on local wildlife might be nice if I can find one in the right age bracket.

Garden toy? DD2 got a big climbing frame for her 3rd birthday which she and her sister use all the time. Birthdays with young kids are a good time to get these big ticket items: trampoline, climbing frame, swing, slide, water table, etc. as they will happily share these and be used for years to come. You don’t get away with that kind of communal gifting for long so make the most of it!

Someone on here once gave me the idea of saving a big cardboard box and filling it with balloons and wrapping that up. I did when my son was 1 and my kids loved it, even the older ones!

Do you have a garden? Is there anything that both boys would like for the garden that you could get for the younger boy's birthday? For example a swing or a mud kitchen or a paddling pool?

I would get him something to open, even if it is only another outfit from Vinted and a bar of chocolate. Or how about something that gets used up, like play foam for the bath?

This. You say your kids have more than enough. That's a problem many people would love to have.

OK this is very cute and I can hopefully see him getting use out of it

I am grateful for that. I really am.

@takealettermsjones I LOVE that idea and I know he would love it. DH won't love it. I know there is a small choak hazard with balloons but DH has a thing about them

@grasslooksdead DH is a fabricator and made them a swing/ slide set last year. When the weather got hot this year I got a small paddling pool. We had the sea shells from when our dog liked a little swim so those have sand now.

You don't have to buy toys just for the sake of buying them. Kids love a birthday cake and candles to blow out. If you have a garden do you have a sand shell with sand toys? Otherwise but him a windmill and some bubbles he'll love those. My DC used to love those little mini flags that went in same castles.

If you have toys put away that's ds1 has forgotten. Wrap them and give them as present. Ds2 won't care and he will enjoy opening something.

@caringcarer I just found the book I posted above on vinted, so I made an offer on a few of her books I think he would like.

Little flags sound fun

If he's into nature, he might like this set:
https://www.axelbooks.com/products/a-clover-robin-book-of-nature-series-3-books-lift-the-flap-collection-set-bird-house-bug-hotel-animal-homes

I saw it in a shop and bought it for a friend's child - they're board books with flaps.

As for giving him something you already have, I think that's a great idea. My only concern would be whether DS1 will remember those gifts or be upset if he thinks they're his?

I would get him something small that's his 'own' - it could be anything though. My daughter is getting her own locomotive for the brio this year, rather than just playing (fighting for) her brothers.

We are also really mindful with our toy buying, we go for depth rather than quantity if you know what I mean! So things to expand the toys they already have (kitchen, mud kitchen, brio, Lego/Duplo, world building/role play).

An experience based birthday treat? So a day out to the play place / beach / animal park he really likes, or that you think he'd like?

My 2 year old thought the best toy was the box of plasters that he was given total control over!
i think it is important there is something to unwrap, and maybe something that he is interested in, that older child wasn’t, so that older child can participate in thinking what they may like, wrap the present etc (important that the same fuss is made about each child on their day - older child should not see younger child being treated lesser) - but it doesn’t have to be loads or expensive presents.

We're moving house so most of the toys are away for viewings.

My nearly 3yo is doing brilliantly with his sole box (30x30cm) of toys, plus a ball. His imagination with the ten blocks in there is amazing (he even built a nunnery!).

There are a couple of other set pieces we take in and out of storage, but he's perfectly happy building shops, trains, dens etc with the sofa cushions, which is the sort of childhood I wanted for him.