AIBU for not wanting a relationship with my neighbour?

[Gamerchick124]

Me and my partner have moved into a property recently. We're very quiet people and like to keep ourselves to ourselves, however, since moving in the neighbours who are lovely, but the wife seems pushy in wanting some kind of friendship with me?

I dont want to sound horrible, I just dont want to be her friend, i just dont really like people.

I dont know how to approach this gently without hurting her feelings as there's also a language issue as shes foreign and doesnt really understand what im saying?

When you say she “seems pushy in wanting some kind of friendship with me”. How so? What is she doing?

I second this. I’d also include a sentence stating that if she keeps harassing you in this way, you’ll lodge a complaint with the police. Use google translate to translate into her language if need be. You need to be forthright, and not compromise on your boundaries. Good luck. Stay strong.

Hi everyone thanks for all the advice. Lots of different opinions here and I see everyone's side apart from the person who got upset because I said I dont like people

I will continue to ignore her as im currently doing, but might have to speak to her soon in regards to her kids out on the garden screeming (They're doing it now also) this late.

For those who think I am being unreasonable, I understand. Some people are neighbourly and some are not, everyone else on the street keeps to themselves but shes the only one who doesnt seem too

Thanks for reading :)

🤣

So many people on this thread will be the same people who complain that 'community' or community spirit doesn't exist anymore.

You can't force friendship. You can be cordial and polite but with boundaries.
People who want to be all over you like a rash very early on are often red flags!

Actually this would come off as entirely rude and very very strange.

I would definitely not make any overt statement to her like "not liking people". It makes you sound really odd and creepy.

I have an overly verbose and chatty neighbour who used to be a bit needy. Think phone calls at 11pm asking for my husband because their boiler had broken. Also repetitive complaints or requests to resolve things like bits of plant climbing over the wall.

The truth is they are lonely and also have nothing else to occupy their time (neither work for legit reasons which I won't reveal). They are also IMO a little bit vulnerable but have family close by and with two children of my own, a husband, two cats and a demanding job, I just didn't have time to be that neighbour. If they were in actual need we did help, but I also learned how to wave and smile then dash off quickly "nice to see you, sorry I don't have time to chat".

I have to say after one particularly vexing set of obsessive phone calls and complaints about a climbing plant that had trickled over, I actually got rid of our landline and made sure they never got my mobile phone number. They meant no harm but it was getting a bit like harassment. I sought very hard not to get resentful though. I just dealt with it pragmatically.

Just be unavailable.

What do you mean you don't like people? What about "people" don't you like? Or do just mean you're introverted.

Fuck her! The friendly bitch.

can you give some examples of what she is actually doing?

have you considered a disguise?

Does she bring you food and suggest you get the babys together?

I think it's really hard to respond because there's no evidence of her wanting to be your friend from what you've said. Mind you I'm the wrong person to ask - I'm going for a drink with one of my neighbours on Saturday and while she's away next week I've offered to take in any parcels for her. I like community, but if it's not for you, it's not for you I guess.

Saying “I don’t really like people” is really odd. Life is people! You wouldn’t have a partner if you hadn’t given a person a chance at one point.

If you can’t understand what she’s saying and “don’t like people” is it possible you’re misunderstanding basic niceties as something more? It’s very normal to be friendly with neighbours, it’s not the same as being friends.

This is something I feel quite sad about, the lack of communication with neighbours. You don't have to be best friends, just an extra friend.

I moved from a lovely cul de sac, all friends but lived our own lives, there for each other for parcels and emotional support for a chat.

Miss this so much moving to a street where you don't know anyone's names and even the next door neighbours you share a house with remain as complete strangers after 3 years!

It feels so lonely and something I've realised about 'normal 'suburbs.

If all within your own little bubble is perfect then I guess I can sort of understand but this isn't reality.

Well that's your problem solved then. You tell her to keep her feral kids from screaming and bothering you and then she will def not want to be friends with you.