Ghosting

[birchtree23]

i split from my husband and recently started online dating.
Met a guy aged 50, apparently hasn’t be married before and no children
seemed very keen and we met up for a 1st date. Got on really well. No awkwardness.
The 2nd date, we went out for a meal and ended up having sex (wasn’t planned) but thought what the hell as to be honest it had been 10 months since I’d been with my x.
This guy wasn’t in a rush to leave in the morning either.
Texted him the next day and nothing back.
Why can’t someone just be honest and say they are not into you or not looking for anything else than bloody ghost you.
I felt so shit and I just deleted his number.
Honestly thought older men would have a bit more decency but obviously not.
Just having a rant and wondering if anyone else has experienced this.

YANBU OP

I Think it’s cowardly but there are some big fans of it on MN.

It’s shit behaviour. At least you aren’t over invested.

Guys can do this at any age, I'm afraid. (And women do it as well !)

If you don't like the idea of it then maybe leave sex off the menu until you're sure he likes you for you ?

I suspect whilst you weren’t looking for sex on the second date, he likely was.

Keep your guard up and be fussy. There’s a lot of messers out there!

Women are advised to do it all the time

i think if you sleep with someone straight away you have to be prepared for the fact they will most likely ghost you, yes it happens after months but it’s less likely so it’s one of the things you accept if sleeping with someone straight away

Really?

And who is giving this sage advice ?

Sorry you were ghosted OP.

Personally I wouldn’t jump into bed so quickly. Had you both discussed sti tests?

Make him work for a it a bit more next time. In theory it would be nice if you could just have mutual sex and walk away but in this case, you wanted more and he didn't. So you have been left feeling used and foolish.

Don’t feel bad at sleeping with him, you wanted to, but I agree he should at least make his excuses rather than ghost. And for what it’s worth it can still happen months down the line when you realise they aren’t as serious as you thought.