Is my friend being a CF with her WFH loo visits?

[MintPoets]

One of my best friends lives in walking distance from me, and she has been seeing someone for a few months now who she is head over heels for. On the majority of recent Wednesday’s, she works from home as does he (he lives in a nearby town so has been staying at hers on a Tuesday and working there the next day).

My friend always goes out for a walk on her lunch, and times this differently to her partners lunch. Recently she has popped round for a chat with me whilst I’ve also been on lunch and used the loo each time. She told me the third time that this was because she’s avoiding going whilst her partner is staying with her.

I messaged her last night to say I had a long meeting over lunch so wouldn’t be able to see her today. She asked if I could leave the door unlocked and she could come in quickly whilst I was in the call. I politely said I wasn’t comfortable leaving the door unlocked whilst I was upstairs on a call. She sent me a bit of a funny reply suggesting I was being unreasonable.

So my question to you all is - AIBU, or is my friend being a CF?

Not sure if CF but certainly extremely weird behaviour from your friend.

Has she got a weak bladder or is she pooing in your house because she doesn't want her new partner to know she has to take a shit every now and then

Unless he’s actually working in the bathroom while she is using it, that is really weird. I assume he knows she’s human and has normal human bodily functions.

Your friend is strange.

Does she think that her boyfriend doesn’t think she has bodily functions?

🤣

Her boyfriend is going to find it weird that she never goes to the loo

I can understand feeling uncomfortable using the toilet with someone in earshot nearby, but she really needs to work on getting over that in this situation.

It’s not reasonable for her to come over to use your toilet because she feels embarrassed using the toilet when her new partners in the same house.

I wouldn't accept this if she was coming round for a number 2. Sorry.

She's coming to your house to shit? I would not be having that 😂

This is one of the most batty things I've seen in Mumsnet, and that's saying something!

(YANBU, obviously!)

So she is fine being porked by her BF and no doubt showing her body and bits, but wants to do a shit/piss at your house instead of her own....because of her BF?

This has to be a first!

So she's basically telling you she needs to use your loo because she doesn't want to have a poo at home whilst her boyfriend is around? Does her bathroom not have walls and a door?! Is it the sound or the smell she's worried about because there's ways round that! Does he use her toilet whilst he's staying over?

She’s coming round to your house for a poo??

No, thank you. She can do that in her own house and the man (who she presumably lets put his penis inside bits of her) will have to find out that poo and wee comes out of her too!

Omg she is either embarrassed to wee incase she farts or she has a big stinky poo on demand every lunchtime 🤣

She’s nuts!

Tell her to shit at home…I’d be really pissed off if someone only came to my house to shit!! That’s so bloody rude (and she’s just plain weird!)

Yes, I agree it’s odd but that’s not my issue - it’s how she reacted to me telling her not to come round today. It felt entitled!

She sounds like a weirdo!

What did she say?

She's definitely being unreasonable. You don't have to do something you're uncomfortable with just because shes being precious.Tell her to go in a field or something 😆

Your DF is being very reasonable. Of course she knows that if her BF realises that she’s an human who actually shits, then he’ll dump her immediately! Men only like women they know never, ever shit… I’ve hidden my toilet visits from my DH for 20 years - sure he doesn’t suspect a thing!

Or maybe not…

Or maybe, just maybe, tell her to go in her own toilet?!

Ask her why she “needs” to use your toilet? I would say to her I think it’s weird
you want me to feel vulnerable by leaving my door unlocked just so you can use the toilet!

@Deepstone "It’s not reasonable for her to come over to use your toilet because she feels embarrassed using the toilet when her new partners in the same house."

Yes, yes it really is unreasonable. This isn't just one odd occasion. How many people use your house as a public toilet?

This is one of the reasons I worked out my ex (long ago) was cheating on me. He was cheating with someone down the hallway (it was an apartment complex) so kept going round to "visit the husband" but in reality he was cheating with the wife - but he kept popping back to ours to use the loo! I knew him from years previously, and I knew exactly when he was trying to impress someone. That was what first planted the seed into my mind, and I wasn't wrong! I'm sort of laughing now but at the time it was a huge mess.

Your friend is definitely using your bathroom to take a number 2, and believes herself to be too dainty to do so when the boyfriend is in her home. It's really childish behaviour. Does she also get up at 6am to do a full face of makeup before he wakes up?

I don't think you're being unreasonable. Popping in for a chat is one thing, but expecting you to leave your house unlocked so she can use your loo while you're busy is asking quite a lot.
If she's uncomfortable using the toilet while her partner is there, that's something she really needs to work through with him rather than relying on you every week. It was fine for you to set a boundary.