To hate surprises?

[durdledoris]

My mum wants to pay for dh and l to have a night away for our birthdays as she doesn't know what to get us. Fine except we haven't got around to booking anything yet - bothh work full time, me in a school and only just broke up. This last term has nearly broken me, l'm exhausted and just need to chill out before all my plans for summer take over

So she called me today to say she has found a hotel that she is going to book - l asked where and she said it's a surprise - l kindly said you know l don't like surprises so l would rather know where it is and she said no you will just have to get used to them - obviously l don't as DH is the only person who would arrange such a thing and he knows not to. I have got a really busy summer and don't want to have to squeeze something else in as l will go back to work even more tired. Could do it in autumn but that 1st term back is a killer too plus loads of family birthdays to celebrate around that time.
Am l being really ungrateful cos it feels like something else to think and stress about?

No I wouldn't like this either.

Seems to me that "surprises" are primarily for the pleasure and enjoyment of the organiser and have very little to do with the pleasure of the recipient.

Its one night in six weeks. Im a teacher too. I know what you mean about fitting in a lot in the holidays but its one night. Id appreciate knowing where or at least the distance involved but I think youre being a bit dramatic.

Exactly. If someone told me they didn't want something, l wouldn't tell them they are wrong

Well, then redirect her. Tell her an anctual object you’d like instead.

It's the one night at the weekend dh will have off. Plus l already have 3 trips away booked in over the hols so it's not that l don't like going away, but l like to choose where and when l am going.

I did - we went to a show recently and suggested instead of the hotel that she paid for that but not she insisted we have a night away

I hate surprises too, it's like she feels she knows where you'd like to go, better than you know yourself and that's rude in my opinion. And that's before you have the issue of fitting it in. You could always let her book it and just say if you insist this is a surprise, I may not be able to go and you risk wasting your money. Hopefully that will put her off.

This would really irritate me too. I guess she thinks the hotel is the treat? But to me I would want to know where it is to plan what is in the area and what I would do before/after the stay.

I just wouldn't go if it was inconvenient or somewhere that I didn't like and I would just tell her, thanks but we're not going.

it's a bit unfair, some people love surprises and would not be happier than discovering something that has been all planned for them.

I, on the other hand, hate surprises.

The only unreasonable is the mother who just blatantly reply "too bad" when told surprises are a bad idea here. Who does that? It sounds more spiteful than a present 😂

I hate surprises too, especially it involves going away somewhere. I'd rather it wasn't done at all.

I agree. The person who enjoys the surprise is usually the person who organised it, not the recipient!