Is this a "dig"

[miamiamia869]

This is really petty I am aware but just the latest in a line of "digs" i am sick off.

I feel my husband digs at me and picks me down alot but he says its not

Today we have decided to start potty training our son. We are probally going to go for the naked method but I wanted to try his new big boy pants on him.

Was just about to put them on and husband said "you are gonna run out of pants today hes gna wee through them"

I said "I know i will probally go naked but jus gonna start with pants, see what they are like see how goes" to which he said

"Well it aint all about you"

This wiped the smile of my face cause just felt like another dig and I said "okay no pants" and he said "oh here she goes, time of the month, sulking"

We had a big row about an hour later as he was "stepping on egg shells" he says its not a dig but I say its manipulation and it is..... he also ran up the stairs mid argument and got in my face shouting. (We were both screaming at eachother from each end of stairs so im aware I wasnt iniconent here) To what I held my face right where it was and did not move and told him he cant bully me and will never scare me.

He told me hes not he loves me and just wants me too see it and it wasnt a dig.

Why are you with this idiot?

Is there anything good about him? He sounds vile.

Yabu for staying with someone so vile. The bare minimum for a relationship is to treat each other with basic respect.

He's abusive if he yells in your face and follows you around to deride you.

He's misogynistic.
Get out. He'll start hitting you next.

He is a nasty bastard. And one who doesn’t know much about potty training small children because the wet feeling of pants is often what helps them
make the association between the sensation of needing to go and releasing the bladder.

The man is trying to undermine you and destroy your confidence. Neither you nor your child need to live with someone like that.

Your relationship doesn’t sound great - or like you like each other much. It’s not good for your son to hear screaming arguments like that regularly.

Your poor kid having to live like that.

You don’t really want your young child to see its parents behaving like this do you? It be ‘just a row’ to you but prolonged exposure to stuff like this does affect kids.

Your dh sounds controlling and horrible.

He sounds nasty.

It's not healthy for a child to grow up in an environment where parents scream at each other.

So you need to work out a way for that to not happen.

Ignore questioning digs. Focus on whether you can actually have proper normal conversation with your partner, and reach agreement calmly.

And try and like each other, which you clearly don't at the moment.

If he isn't willing to actually talk properly then think about your long term future

No, a dig is something subtle. This is two adults apparently at war - or one waging war on the other - creating a horrible, likely damaging home environment for a young child.

Do you want your child to grow up thinking this behaviour is normal? Behaving the same way himself?

You appear to have married an arsehole.

To be honest, your husband comes across as unpleasant and a bit thick.

It's OK to be married to someone who is thick if they're a nice person, especially if you're also thick, but you don't come across as thick, so this is a toxic combination because you're going to get very frustrated trying to reason with him when he's too dim to understand you and too unpleasant to defer.

Poor child.

Agree. The NSPCC declare that a child seeing, hearing and sensing domestic abuse is themselves a victim of abuse.

Your child will absorb and internalise this emotional violence and will be left very distressed and confused. They will not feel emotionally safe in their own home and their own development will be hugely impacted. You will see behaviour issues that might well develop into chronic lifelong MH issues as a teenager.

What were both of your experiences of parents and family life as children?

There is no need to expose yourself and your DC to this detrimental environment.

Either you and your OH learn about child development and how your behaviours impact and then adapt / improve your dysfunctional and reactive behaviours for the benefit of your DC - or if one of you is unable to do this then you need to be accountable for taking your child out of this toxic and injurious situation asap.

Children are like emotional sponges at this age and their emotional wiring is being developed by the environment around them.

Don’t have any more children with this man, don’t make yourself financially dependent on him - if not now, then at some stage in the future, you will need to make plans to leave.

he also ran up the stairs mid argument and got in my face shouting. (We were both screaming at eachother from each end of stairs so im aware I wasnt iniconent here)

What a lovely environment for your little one to be brought up in. Time to take some responsibility for you and your child and kick him out.