Not said ‘step’daughter

[fornobody]

DSD is 17, my dd is 10.

Last weekend dd invited a friend to town for lunch and some shopping. They are a bit young to go alone and so dsd offered to take them. Friend’s mum agreed, they went and seemed to have a great time.

Friend’s mum has now somehow found out that dsd is my step daughter and is annoyed I didn’t tell her, asking why I lied and saying she might have felt differently about agreeing if she’d known. I didn’t intentionally lie, I just didn’t think it was relevant or needed mentioning.

AIBU to have not specified and think it shouldn’t matter?
Would you be more likely to say no in this situation if I’d said she was my stepdaughter?

Friend’s mum is insane.

Who did you say was going with them?

Very narrow minded by the other mum - I would be turning around and telling her DSD is my family and we don’t use the word step in this family!

I’d be thinking how nice your DSD was to take them both! How ungrateful of friend’s mum. It doesn’t make a difference that she’s your step daughter.

She’s batshit. She’s your daughter you don’t need to add step to the front and it makes zero difference anyway.

DD’s older sister + her name

That would be a hard no holds barred Fuck Right Off from me if this is true.

Is your step daughter you daughters sister, or are they just related by marriage?

Not that it makes a difference, the mum was rude, just curious to try and see where she was coming from.

bat Shit mother.

whether she is your dd’s full sibling, half sibling, step sibling, adopted sibling is no one’s concern .

if you refer to her as her ‘sister’ that’s good enough for me . I don’t need a full genetic profile and family tree.

I’m not saying she’s right, but I can understand the other mother’s reaction.

It might be assumed that a 17 year old who has a blood attachment might be far more attentive to a sibling’s welfare (and by extension, the friend). Even when siblings hate each other they tend to still look out for them, whereas a teenage step-sibling might not be as mindful.

They’re half sisters ( Dh is father of both)

I suppose the mum may have thought that your dsd wouldn’t look out (care) for them as much as a blood relative would. And her decision to let her own dd go wasn’t based on facts.

Not that I agree with her at all.

I take it back then, half sister is fine. Maybe the friend’s mum got the wrong end of the stick (like I did)?

Oh give over - blood doesn’t make you care

you care when you’ve been brought up together as a family,

if your teenage dsd is happy to take her kids sister and friend out - that sounds like they have a pretty positive relationship.

most teens won’t do things they don’t want to do.

love is much stronger than blood lines

So they are sisters (1/2) not step sisters. Where did the mum get ‘step’ from?

They are half sisters. I don’t know anyone who says half sister in day to day life. Surely it’s just sister.
What was the other mothers reasoning here?

She’s my step daughter

Yes, but you told her DDs sister + name was taking her. How did she hear ‘step’?

What difference does it make what the conversation was? Other kid probably referred to DSDs mum and DSD said she’s my step mum not mum. Either way it’s weird that friends mum cared that DSD and her sister and full blood siblings

Perhaps the girls chatted to each other while they were out. What a strange point to get hung up on.

@fornobody the friends mother is totally unreasonable.

Originally I just said DD’s older sister and I guess from that she assumed dsd was my older daughter.
Someone else must have told her differently and today she text me asking if dsd was actually my step daughter.

Because her being only a half sister makes a massive difference to how well she escorted and supported your daughter and hers around town. She's an idiot.

Okay, I’m glad the consensus is that I haven’t done anything wrong so I don’t have to entertain her

Your point is nuts.

But they are blood relatives

Ooo I think I would have called her bluff and ask her in what way would she think differently and why . Forget it though. It's her DDs loss if she isn't allowed to be around around your stepdaughter .