AIBU to think a toddler should not need to cover their top at a swimming pool?

[Blues321]

Went swimming in our local pool with DS aged 18 months and DNiece 16 months. DSis had forgotten a swim nappy so gave her one of DS's.

We're happily splashing when a lifeguard approached us and asked if DN is a girl and if so, she has to wear a swimming costume that covers her top half.

We ended up having to leave early as apparently it's 'the rules' that all females, even 16 month olds, have to cover their chests!!

Please reassure me that this is crazy and we weren't BU to refuse to buy a swimsuit and therefore be asked to leave.

Manager was involved and said rules are rules!

At 16mo, could you not have said she is a boy? Problem solved. Who knows, they may even ‘identify as’ a boy today, so may not even be a furphy.

If this happened, it is of course sexism and discrimination

That is ridiculous, she is a baby! I think the pool attendant must have got it wrong.

Which pool was this?

And no it won't be outing as they'll have 1000s of visitors per year.

This is crazy.

I cannot believe that this is true.

That's utterly ridiculous and reprehensible. Thus starts sexualisation. You should take this further up if you have the stomach for it. Local authorities if this was a municipal pool. Even the local press maybe?

In my local pool, babies/toddlers have to wear bottoms over their swim nappies (but not tops or one piece suits).

I suspect it's to stop them pulling the nappy off.

I can well remember a time, quite a few years ago now, when you could get little girls’ swimsuits that consisted of a bottom half only ( quite often a bit frilly or decorative ) Probably for under 5s.
Are these no longer available?

Could you not have fashioned a small bikini top out of swim goggles for her to keep everyone happy?

Me either, but if it was I would be going above the duty managers head and emailing higher management. It's absolutely bloody ridiculous..

I don't know where you would draw the line for tops must be worn, but at a swimming pool, I would think it would be simple enough to make it aged eight the same age as not using the opposite sex dressing rooms

Sorry what prompted them to ask the sex of one of the babies?

Sadly, it really is true.
i assume they heard my sister say good girl, or there's a good girl and had we known, we would have lied and said she was a boy.

I'd rather not name the pool as it's the only one for miles around and we've already sent an email questioning their policy so it could get linked to me!

I'd rather not name the pool as it's the only one for miles around and we've already sent an email questioning their policy so it could get linked to me!

Yeah because swimming pool managers are well known for trawling parenting websites, looking for anonymous nicknames who politely question their policies 🙄

What do you think he's going to do? Demand MNHQ tell him your address?

That’s absolutely shocking. I wouldn’t believe it except for your second post.

I always used to take dd (now 17) to the pool in just a swim nappy at that age - reusable ones in blue or pink depending on what I had clean. Never a complaint about it.

The funny thing was, I did notice that she got away with alot if I put her into the blue one! Just harmless stuff like climbing out to the pool and jumping back in to where I was waiting (she would have been a toddler at the time). This was apparently completely fine in the blue swim nappy but against the rules in the pink one - I kid you not!

Tbh I’m not sure why it needs to be a rule at all!

In practice, anyone with actual boobs or even moving towards having them will choose to wear a top, but there’s no hygiene reason why women should have to.

If for some reason it’s deemed necessary I’d say 12 at the very youngest to require it - maybe 16?

You want 15 year old girls topless at a pool? JFC!

I’d not accept this and would be taking it further. I’d be asking to see where this policy is published. And quoting the Equality Act

Ridiculous. The fact they need to ask her sex shows children of that age are visibly identical unless you see the genitals and even then at a distance you might not know. So it's a stupid rule.

They could say like aged 10 plus or something but not that young!

i assume they heard my sister say good girl, or there's a good girl and had we known, we would have lied and said she was a boy

Ffs, have a bit of creativity. ‘No, he’s a boy, but today is insisting he is a girl, so we are calling him that today’. Again, problem solved. Saves all the angst AND having to post on Mumsnet.

My 13 year old daughter walks around the house topless if she's just got out the shower because she refuses to be sexualised at her age

You need to take this further. Under the Equality Act I don’t think their “rule” is actually allowed. I’d also be astonished if this is actually the rule! I wonder if the manager is just clueless- were they quite young?

Was it about the fact there was nothing covering the swim nappy and the member of staff has not understood the rule properly ?
I do think you need trunks or something over a swim nappy as a bit of an extra insurance against leaks. Crazy if they just want to put tops on babies though

They are available. Splash about sell them. We took our disgusted to water babies and lots of the baby/toddler girls just wore the secure swim nappy with no top. We didn’t as she gets cold but was perfectly acceptable.

Which is completely diffterent to walking around a public pool topless.