AIBU to feel miffed about my family getting Irish passports?

[Honeysucklelane]

AIBU to feel miffed my DH & kids are getting Irish passports? They all have UK passports and it seems a luxury to pay twice.

I can’t get an Irish passport, but my DH and DC’s can. I’ve pointed out I’ll be stuck in the long non-EU queues at airports whilst they go ahead through the EU queue.

Realistically unless any of them travel somewhere alone, it’s highly unlikely they’ll be with other family or friends with Irish passports so they’ll always be waiting on whoever they’re travelling with anyway so what is the point?

DH was very sheepish when a neighbour popped round with the signed forms this evening and was avoiding telling me what he’d dropped round for.

Why are you anxious about being in a queue? Airports are heavily protected and there is CCTV everywhere, so it’s a very safe place to be.

My DH and DCs now have Irish passports. I don’t. I researched and applied for all of them. I’m not seeing what your problem is. I can piggyback on DHs Schengen time in Europe so there is some benefit.

Im fast tracked at the airports because I’m disabled. I’d rather have your perceived problem tbh.

Ye all had them until ye voted for Brexit!!

Agreed. My parents are Irish based in uk and voted for brexit! But at least I can hopefully apply for passports for myself and my kids - just need to get on with it.

What the hell you on about!!! MH issues!!!! You are jelous. If it was a post about your anxiety you would have posted about your anxiety but you posted that you are miffed that your family are applying for the passports! What do you mean you are anxious in queue??? I have British dh has european, we are in sight at all times and just wait eachother on the other side. Literally never took more than 5 minutes to catch up. How can you be anxious when your family is literally meters away? Where would they go without you, leave the airport, hitch a ride and leave you behind? What a bunch of BS, if you think you fooling us you are delulu!

By definition, if they're entitled to Irish passports, they are Irish citizens. Doesn't mean they're Irish residents. Citizen means they have the nationality. FWIW, they have the nationality even without the passport, the passport just proves it.

I think it's extremely small minded and selfish of you to not want your DC to have an EU passports because you don't want to be left in an airport queue alone.
As an adult, you need to learn to deal with these sort of situations. Yes, I am very familiar with anxiety. It is possible to get help and help yourself. Do so rather than trying to reduce your DC's potential opportunities.

They can go and get the bags whilst you wait !

Well I'd feel more than vaguely perturbed if my DH and bairns had a different nationality on their passport from me too, OP.
It's not just about the queueing, and it doesn't mean you want them tied to the UK so they can never travel freely🙄
You're miffed, OP and I would be a bit miffed too.(if I was younger and still bothered by shit like this)
You'll be fine once you've navigated your way through it.
It'll level out.

If only there were some kind of small hand-held device by which separated travelling companions could make contact with each other.......

I can see that this wasn't your final post.

Why didn't you just thank the posters who put your mind at rest and bow out gracefully.

You don't HAVE to enter into any arguments or defend yourself. There's really no point winding yourself up any more than your anxiety has already.

It may not be possible to "grow out of" anxiety, but you can learn to just walk away from trouble.

Ask him straight out why he’s been secretive over this.

Has he really been or does the op just think that?

Probably because he knows his wife will make it All About Her.

I think it’s insane that you wanted to deny your children this opportunity because you don’t want to stand alone in line

I have a friend who suffers with anxiety, which stops her doing many things.

I have heard all about it for a decade.

What I haven't heard though, is what she's actually doing about it.

The two aren't mutually exclusive. Sometimes those suffering from mental health issues can be a little oblivious to the impact of their struggles on their family and friends. Which is understandable, especially with something that feels all consuming such as anxiety.

However, saying that you would prefer to deny your children the opportunities that an Irish passport would afford them because you would struggle to queue alone is an example of how your anxiety could impact on your family.

Ironically, now that you know you can go through together, you also know that you would actually have been limiting their opportunities for NO reason, since your fear wouldn't have been realised.

Surely you just see that denying your children the chance to have European passports in these circumstances would have been allowing your anxiety to negatively impact their lives? And that it would be preferable to get support for your anxiety (or more support if need be) rather than make knee-jerk parenting decisions based on your own anxiety rather than what's best for your children?

Ideally, you would all be free of the impact of anxiety - it sounds very difficult and you have my utmost sympathy and beat wishes.

I have an Irish passport, thanks to my dad's ethnicity. Not much use to me now. And - the main reason I went through the process - my son does not get it as I was not 'Irish' when he was born. So unfortunately he will not get the benefit of a lovely EIRE passport, and open up so many opportunities he is qualified for in the EU. He worked seamlessly across the continent until after Brexit. @Kamilaa says the sense. @Ahdnf exactly !

Unless you’re living in Ireland your DH will not ‘ quality after a while’

I’m in this situation and honestly it is fine. Sometimes we are all directed to the EU booths as a mixed group and sometimes I have to go to a separate queue. In the latter case my husband picks up luggage, figures out where to go for onward travels and then finds a cafe with our daughter if I am going to be a while.

My kids have got them. And thank goodness too. My child studied for free during their masters which they did in the EU. Their brother got an unskilled summer job overseas which he wouldn’t have been eligible for otherwise, and they travel a lot without worrying about 90 days limits etc. the opportunities are so much greater with an EU passport.

Why wouldn’t you want your DC to have more opportunities to work and study abroad? Makes sense to me, and passports aren’t just about 2wks in Spain.

It depends on if you all
voted for Brexit or not. If he voted for Brexit then got an Irish passport for him and the kids I’d say LTB.
did YOU vote for Brexit ?

Think you’re missing the big picture. They’re older teenagers - they’ll soon be wanting to spread their wings and they’ll have ease of travel and work across Europe. Seems a very blinkered view to focus on them making it through the queue ahead of you once or twice (not that I see what the big deal is about that either).

Your DH still has Irish heritage, so just because he is born in the UK, doesn’t stop that. Would you say parents of a chinese child who happened to be born and live in London isn’t Chinese. They’d be a dual national. Kids are brits born overseas are still British, they are dual nationals (if the country allows it) but cultural identify is a lot more than the country you’re born in. So seems odd you’re adamant your DH isn’t Irish.

My son could play for 3 football teams if he was good enough, England, Wales & India, despite being born in England. He still has Welsh & Indian heritage via his parents. Many brits seem to base someone’s identity solely on the country they were actually born in.