AIBU to stop volunteering after dance school refused to cover licence cost?

[BottlingBurpsForGrandma]

I'm really upset and cross with my DD's dance school. Every year, they do two shows - a Summer and a Winter. For the last 3 years I have volunteered as a chaperone at all of these shows. Typically, I look after a group of maybe 6 or 8 children including my own daughter, supporting them with costume changes, pastoral, nipping to the loo. As DD's grown older and needed less support, I've helped out with different age groups and acted as a 'floater' with the little ones. It is completely voluntary and many parents don't ever chaperone a show.

DD enjoys the shows and has worked hard to be in it, so she is taking part again at the weekend. My chaperone licence needed renewing, costing me just over £18. I applied to the dance school to reimburse me this cost - it is a specific Chaperone License and can only be used for this dance school - and they've said no. I feel so hurt and upset. I will be giving about 12 hours of my time to support the show weekend, on top of well over 100 hours over the last 3 years.

They will probably buy all the chaperones a keyring or mug to say thanks but are completely refusing to cover this cost incurred. I honestly want to phone in sick on the days now, but I do enjoy the time backstage with my daughter.

If they had to pay chaperones it would be upwards of £20 per hour and they'd need about 20 for the dance school of 300 girls.

On top of this there's no discount for the show fee, the DVD is £20+ (I can't watch the show from the audience as, ya know, backstage!) and there's rarely so much as a packet of biscuits provided. I need to let it go, but I feel really angry, unappreciated and hurt.

Should I raise it with the school, or just quietly stop volunteering?

I think that's really poor of them. It shouldn't cost you to be a volunteer. They should also discount the DVD since you're unable to watch the show.

I would raise it with the school they need to bloody get a grip! Even if they said it’s refundable after you’ve chaperones twice or similar.

YANBU. I volunteer with a youth theatre group and we cover the cost of anyone’s DBS.

That would piss me right off.

I think given how soon the show is, I’d probably go ahead as planned, but afterwards would be putting the whole thing in writing to the owner and advising that you won’t be chaperoning in future unless they are prepared to cover the cost of the licence.

have you spoken to any of the other chaperones? They must feel the same, surely?

One of my DD’s was in a dance show earlier this year and the dance school asked for volunteer chaperones. A few parents did volunteer and I believe they had to pay for their own chaperone licences and DBS checks. They were thanked at the show and given flowers.

I’m glad they volunteered, but after I worked out the cost of doing it, there’s no way I would have been willing to volunteer. It’s a private dance school, not a charity.

I chaperoned for years for DDs dance shows, absolutely no way would I have been paying for it.

Ours were not even specific to the school, when we did the application we had the option of being added to the chaperone register to take paid work (I don’t believe anyone did this though).

I've been in a similar voluntary role and would definitely expect to be reimbursed for this cost.

YANBU - They absolutely should cover this cost as you're unable to use this licence anywhere else. It may be time to drop the baton of chaperone, to make way for other mums to have a turn, and enjoy a front row seat for yourself instead.

If they're concerned about paying for the licences and chaperones dropping out they could reimburse after the shows instead. This is a lot of unpaid hours to enable them to continue in business.

I would say that you’re not prepared to pay and therefore they’ll need to find another chaperone. They should also be offering at least a 50% discount on the DVD given you can’t even watch your child perform!

Say as they’re unable to pay that you’re no longer able to chaperone as you don’t have the licence. Or they can give you the DVD for free instead. Their choice.

I would stop volunteering and tell them why.

Yanbu. I am so fed up of the people putting up their hand to help are always the ones losing out. Our dance school does this too, email after email from the owner about how expensive it is to put on a show, can they have parent help for this and that ad infinitum, but here’s the rub….all year round she has about 15 dancers in a class (at £12 an hour so £180 sales, hall costs £15 and teacher £25, so £140 profit per hour per class) so yes, I get the show might be expensive, but use some of your effing thousands earnt over the year, to sub it, and use it as advertising, incorporate the costs as a whole - don’t ask the flippin parents who pay you £1000 a term to sweep the floor after the show rather than pay a cleaner. Pisses me off so much and I’ll be so pleased when dd finishes dancing!

Yanbu they are being CFs expecting you to pay for the privilege of supporting their profit-making enterprise.

They are absolutely be out of order, They should either have found volunteers with Chaperone licences or factored them into their costs.

I had something a little similar with brownies - we all put in hours, and then they wouldn't cover a really basic expense (said oh we never do that for our leaders). Pack was thousands up but they wouldn't cover a tenner for token petrol for me. It is miserable to be taken for granted like that. I left... Although I still miss it!

There is some new guidance out for volunteers in schools currently regarding DBS checks etc. Basically, security is being tightened, meaning volunteers need to have the appropriate paperwork, and many schools can’t afford to fork out for this off their own backs.

Not sure if this is the same for your dance school, but it might be worth asking to question.

I understand this, but it is a profit-making dance school. I receive no discount for chaperoning nor would I want one. The school turns over enough to have been asked to pay VAT - which I appreciate isn't mega bucks (turnover £90k) but with 300 pupils, each paying at least £8 per week, 38 weeks a year, plus a per-pupil show fee of £30 and £17 per person tickets to watch, I really don't think they're in dire straits. Maybe they could increase the show fee for those who don't volunteer.

Volunteer licences from LA including a DBS check should be free of charge, although the Safeguarding training course to qualify may be chargeable. By nature volunteers cannot be paid for their time except to reimburse expenses like travel. Are you entitled to register on the DBS Update service? You can volunteer in some capacity with only that but need supervising. If you find the cost and time disproportionate to what you get out of it, withdraw.

Why should anyone pay to help out? I’d stop doing it

Volunteer licences in my area (Kent) are free. But there is a cost for professional ones. We also got a free ticket to watch the show (3 shows so everyone can usually watch one). Previously we’ve had wine or chocolate but they decided a free ticket would be more appreciated.
I would absolutely expect them to pay if they cost.
I do it because my daughters adore dancing and doing the show and it has given them so many great memories. So yes I would absolutely raise it with them!

Volunteer licences are definitely not free in our area or the neighbouring counties. All £15 to £20. The DBS itself is free as it's voluntary, though I'm on the update service anyway.

It is the principle. £18 isn't life changing but it feels like a piss take. I feel undervalued. I feel, stupidly, hurt. I've given my loyalty and time for years and it feels... well just hurtful.