Was Mils will fair?

[PurpleInGaloshes]

Looking for some impartial opinions on a family situation.
My mother-in-law recently passed away. She had four sons, and none of them were estranged from her. If anything, the youngest son was generally considered to be her favourite.
My father-in-law passed away many years ago, and they had bought the family home together years before he died.
Two of the sons are married and have their own homes. The other two are unmarried, have no children or partners, and still lived with their mum. They didn’t contribute towards the mortgage or upkeep of the house, but they did pay household bills and buy food.
In her will, she left the entire house to the oldest son only. The other three sons received no share of the house.
From what she told the family before she passed away, she believed the oldest son would “do the right thing” and give a 50% share of the house to the other son who still lived there. However, since inheriting the house, the oldest son has said it’s his house, he can do what he wants with it, and he has no obligation to share it.
I completely understand that it was her house and she had every legal right to leave it to whoever she wanted. I’m not asking about the legal side—I’m genuinely interested in what others think as my expectation, as bare minimum was that she would’ve have left it equally to the 2 sons that lived with her.
Do you think she should have left the house to all four sons equally? Or, if her intention was for the two sons living there to benefit, should she have written that into the will instead of relying on one son to share voluntarily?

I wouldn't trust that brother an inch.
I would want to see the Will.

Okay I'll say it and be damned. I don't even believe this thread is real.

What kind of woman has the presence of mind to write two of her children out of her will completely and make it clear that she is leaving her entire house to one son, yet just have it hanging as a vague expectation or verbal understanding rather than as a codicil of her will, that that son should 'do the right thing' and give half of the house to the fourth son?

It makes zero sense and I'm not buying it.

Could get interesting if eldest brother spends or invests the sale money then wants to move back in (rent free as family!)

Oh and lo and behold, this poster has no posting history beyond this one thread.

i find it mind boggling that parents don’t think about the consequences of their wills and how it might impact on family relationships. When you’re left out of a will or treated less favourably it’s not the lack of money that causes the grief - it’s the fact that it demonstrates in writing how less loved or favoured you were than your siblings. If there are practical reasons why an estate is going to be split unevenly (eg a sibling unable to work due to health reasons etc) then the parent should discuss this and explain to their adult children so they understand why prior to any deaths. I suspect your MIL didn’t want to have those conversations so has just left it to the eldest to sort out who has now gone against her wishes. What a mess. I hope your family unit is okay OP and your DH is doing the best he can following his mums death and now all this.

It never fails to amaze me how people come across the most ordinary things (in this case a woman leaving her estate in a way that was historically very common to the eldest son) - on a site with millions of users - and declare that it can't have happened.

I’ve name changed for this. I have been on Mumsnet for ages. My previous username is similar to my nickname. Not sure what that has to do with anything though- I’ve simply asked for other opinions as being so close to the situation - it can be difficult to see if what I’m thinking is reasonable or not.

I knew someone in this situation, eldest son inherited and kept all the money, as per the will, the other two sons got nothing. No family fall out, but of course the other two siblings felt left out.

She should have left it to four sons equally.
Her legacy will forever be that she created massive ill will amongst the sons because of her total stupidity.

Advice from an accountant was write a will to make sure the right people get it else the wrong people will get it.

I know of a neighbour who did not update her will , 2 sons 1 in Australia for 40+ years the other stayed near home, had an accident at work did not work again and moved back in with his mother, she became ill and he looked after her for years on carers allowance, when she died he had to sell the house and send half the money to the son in Australia and he moved into a 1 bedroom rented flat over a shop.
Did not seem fair for all the years of effort he put in looking after his mother. The really sad news was he died less than 12 months after his mother, had no wife or children so guess his brother inherited the other half of his mothers estate.

I agree. People on the outside often say you shouldn’t be concerned about money, but it feels as though it’s the very last thing the dead person says to you, summing up the relationship. If that last thing is to leave you nothing, or very little, it’s like saying, you don’t mean anything to me

And how much do you think will be left, from an ordinary house, after the legal battle?

If the younger brother loses his savings will be spent on legal fees. If he wins most of the estate will go on fees.

What do you mean? Oldest brother now owns the house, alone. Nobody has to buy anyone else out.

@Elsvieta oldest brother now owns the house and wants to sell it - the other brother who lives there is now having to purchase the whole house (not just half) as he doesn’t want to move from his home (he’s lived there for at least 30years).

If it had been left to both of them - then at least the younger brother would’ve owned half.

Really?

I don't know much about the French system but I would have thought that it was not be great to inherit your parents' debts.

I'm referring only to the bit where children have absolute rights to part of a deceased parent's estate. Must do away with a lot of financial abuse and control.

That’s easy though. Write a Will!

The French system is forced heirship. The English & Welsh system is much more flexible, but you can prescribe what you want in a Will.

I agree with both points here.

Wills don't have to be fair- parents often say things like X will do the right thing , but really this is a stupid way to act, you really need to spell it out, because it is impossible to predict how someone will act when property or large sums of money are concerned.
Many people think that estates should divided equally between siblings- despite how rich or poor those siblings are. Personally I think it is acceptable to divide the money a\ccording to need- but it can cause rifts.

How could your MIL sell the farm when it had been inherited by your DH through the deed of variation? It wasn't hers to sell.

It sounds like she was perhaps very old school - treating the eldest son as head of the family and presuming he would sort everything out.

I don't know, because I don't have a view of the estate (and nor do you). But there WILL be solicitors out there who will offer a no win, no fee agreement to a son who has relied on his mother providing for him in recent years and who finds himself not accounted for in her will. It will be a percentage of the 'win' and let's be honest, the boys who lived with her will join up and present their case together - strengthening their position and allowing them to be more attractive to a NWNF firm to enter into a fee/win arrangement. At that point, the other brother will see the writing on the wall and will settle - there will be a Deed of Variation drawn up, it won't get to Court.

As I said, I'm a solicitor and we see this a lot - contentious probate is a very interesting area of the law. We love to take these on - if the facts presented here actually are the facts, they'll find someone to act for them, no bother.

The deed of variation was first FIL half do dh owned half of the farm and MIL lived there.
At some point, she couldn’t cope with the costs so they BOTH agreed to sell the farm.

Tbh it was traumatic for everyone.