Was Mils will fair?

[PurpleInGaloshes]

Looking for some impartial opinions on a family situation.
My mother-in-law recently passed away. She had four sons, and none of them were estranged from her. If anything, the youngest son was generally considered to be her favourite.
My father-in-law passed away many years ago, and they had bought the family home together years before he died.
Two of the sons are married and have their own homes. The other two are unmarried, have no children or partners, and still lived with their mum. They didn’t contribute towards the mortgage or upkeep of the house, but they did pay household bills and buy food.
In her will, she left the entire house to the oldest son only. The other three sons received no share of the house.
From what she told the family before she passed away, she believed the oldest son would “do the right thing” and give a 50% share of the house to the other son who still lived there. However, since inheriting the house, the oldest son has said it’s his house, he can do what he wants with it, and he has no obligation to share it.
I completely understand that it was her house and she had every legal right to leave it to whoever she wanted. I’m not asking about the legal side—I’m genuinely interested in what others think as my expectation, as bare minimum was that she would’ve have left it equally to the 2 sons that lived with her.
Do you think she should have left the house to all four sons equally? Or, if her intention was for the two sons living there to benefit, should she have written that into the will instead of relying on one son to share voluntarily?

@Ilovelifeverymuch I said as bare minimum it should be left to the two who lived with her - that’s the two eldest. Just to be clear - the two eldest aren’t married and have no children. The two yougest are both married with children and live in their own homes. There are 5 Grandchildren.

I have nothing to gain from her will - even if my husband was left 1/4 of it - it would be put away for the kids (mils grandchildren).

The yougest was her favourite. Which is why this doesn’t make sense. Which is why I posted here as I thought maybe I’m over thinking things. There is no back story.

She obviously had a favourite son! Otherwise it would have been shared equally! She obviously felt guilty at the thought of her youngest not receiving a share but not enough to leave him any! So basically told the eldest to do the right thing, and leaving the decision making to him! Maybe she felt that by living with her for so long that they had an unfair advantage?! However it is also possible to contest the will and ask for the witnesses if any to come forward. Perhaps that would give better clarity on the situation.

I can believe she would do something so stupid as my own Mother is doing exactly the same thing. She thinks my brother will do the right thing. He won't. It will be a complete shitshow when she dies, but she absolutely won't engage in it whatsoever.

Based on your opening post, your MIL left the property on trust with one son, but with two beneficiaries. It is here - "....From what she told the family before she passed away, she believed the oldest son would “do the right thing” and give a 50% share of the house to the other son who still lived there.

For a trust to exist, there has to be three 'certainties'.
Certainty of Objects = the beneficiaries need to be identifiable. Clearly it is the two sons.
Certainty of Subject Matter = the house.
Certainty of Intention = she wanted two sons to inherit equally.

However, it is all verbal and what is called a non-express trust. There is nothing in writing. Witnesses to the conversation, particularly if these were frequent might help. But it may be a costly process for the one son to obtain his half-share.

The unfairness is that MIL did not take the time to put this into writing in her Will. It would have cost little more than £1,000 with a solicitor to do so. Should the son wish to claim his half share it may cost £10,000 or more in legal fees to at least start the discussion if the legatee resists. Wills are powerful documents and they are there for a reason.

The only fair way to split assets is equally. Leaving anything to the good will of one child is a mistake.

Big drip feed

This explains it, I think

It sounds as though your MIL assumed tradition to leave it to the eldest son and that he would take care of the rest of the family. It was an expectation on him, and he may have reassured her, saying of course he would make sure everyone was provided for.

Then he shafted everyone. If he makes a will who will he leave his estate to? If he dies without a will, it will go to his brothers equally.

It is legally correct, and no doubt in your MIL’s mind, it was morally correct according to her values. But in the UK today, even in traditional SE Asian families, it would have been fairer to leave it to all four brothers.

For future planning, it would have been fine to say in a will that those living at home have a year to make other arrangements but then the house would be sold and shared out.

She should have split it equally between all of her children.

Eldest son should be hanging his greedy head in shame.

i didn’t think to mention SE Asian in the post as mil came to the UK when she was 12. Also, she didnt have any SE Asian traditions when it came to her eldest two not getting married - or having a dil live with her etc etc. It’s not to drip feed. I’m struggling with perhaps with over thinking it, trying to keep the peace somewhat and maybe trying to make it make sense!

Like I said before - ppl can leave there estate to whomever they want - but we are the ones left with the fall out of one brother having to buy the other brother out of what is effectively also his home.

Is the Will a valid one ? Was it witnessed. Drawn up by a solicitor or a home diy job? Do you have sight of it ?
The validity is the first thing to establish. If not a valid Will look up contesting it. Get advice from a Solicitor. Families can vary Wills if all agree.
Then find out who the appointed executors are. There should be one but preferably two. I hope it is not the eldest son.
If it is then your MIL has been very foolish. And frankly a bit lazy. Blind trust in her eldest. Who from the sound of it will seek to keep all.
Out of interest, your late MIL would have had some cash/pension finances. Her estate is currently just that. He doesn’t own the house yet as her estate I assume has not been wound up. Taxes paid etc.

Dreadful really. If the Will is valid and executors are managing the estate after seeking probate then the best you can hope for is a variation on which you all agree. Otherwise he will walk away with the lot. Well done mum.
Everyone’s finances and who lived where are not really relevant to the situation now.

If you aren’t interested in the legal side but are asking is it fair the answer is a flat no. I don’t think so.
If you have children rather than a child you manage your legally organised Will setting out your instruction to sell the house and divide the proceeds between them.
Not having a legally organised Will in the UK is I am afraid to say a poor show.

Also 1of 4. Happily, DPs are still alive. I am joint executor & their will is fair. Elder DB is getting slightly less than the rest of us as he had a large monetary gift to help him when he divorced. Otherwise it would have been equally split.

Any evidence that she was coerced into writing the will in favour of the 1 son?

Who witnessed the latest version?

Any chance of a deed of variation which would help from the tax point of viesw?

A deed of variation is a legal document that allows beneficiaries of a deceased person's estate to alter how their inheritance is distributed

@Shewas does your son know your plans? If not, do try to prepare him, I’d also stipulate a time frame.

I know a family currently in this situation. The at home son is upset at the prospect of losing his home, is delaying sorting anything citing MH and distress over it all, and his siblings are waiting for their inheritance. It’s caused a lot of ill feelings and a fall out because he won’t leave.

there was also a similar situation on here recently with the op’s brother in the house that her and her siblings also joint owned, whilst he got to live there rent free.

Very strange decision. It would really make me suspicious that her true desire was to genuinely leave it to her eldest and she just fobbed people off by saying eldest son will be do the right thing. Maybe they discussed between them and son said he had no issue telling people it was his to do with what he wants after she was gone. Because otherwise, it makes no sense that she wouldn’t have just said 50/50 between the oldest two.

She should have left her estate to be shared between 4. If the oldest had any morals he would do precisely that

but money does funny things to people and the oldest may just find his brothers no longer want anything to do with him.

Don't underestimate this eldest son manipulating his mum by promising this, that and the other! Some people will do anything for greed, and older people can be very vulnerable when on their own! I know from bitter similar experience!

You have to have a persons estate managed when they die in a particular way according to the UK law. Someone needs to apply for probate.
Please make sure you do get legal advice. And don’t get embroiled in anything which would not be legally acceptable.

Happening in my inlaws family. 4 children. 3 moved out and 1 stayed home. The father who is still living has willed it to all 4. Of course its going to be a huge mess because one brother is still there. He's 50 and has plenty of money but no ambition to fly the nest. Father is aware of this but he figures its not going to be his problem! Father thinks that his grandchildren will eventually benefit i.e. my 2 boys but my husband wont see any money in his lifetime. Its happening everywhere nowadays as people living with parents into there 40's. I personally think its selfish of them.

two things to say neither of which is about fairness. The first is that if your husband wants to do something about it, the next thing to do is to see the will. You can get a copy from the probate office after the will has gone through probate. The second thing is that I think its up to your husband what is done about this. I have been in a simiar situation and while my husband supported me entirely, the decision on what action to take was mine.

I mean ... you and your dh would be foolish NOT to get a copy of the will...

You said your husband has seen the will at 11.41 and then seem to say you don't know whether anyone has at 13.39. Which is it?

I don't think you said where you are but if you're in England or Wales, once probate is done the will is a matter of public record. I wouldn't be taking the eldest son's word for what's in it. Is it possible the will was made when MIL wasn't of sound mind, or under duress?

in what part of the UK and when was the will dated

Apologies for also asking this question, what was MIL cause of death (it’s possibly relevant)

Will you provide for a situation where your mother dies and then you die or become incapacitated before you can vary her will as you describe? Because if you die and your dh and children inherit everything before you distribute the will it will be an entirely different kettle of fish - especially if there are minor children. Proving a secret trust will be a pain for everyone.

There is no "bare minimum". There is no objective view on fairness. So trying to convince yourself that there is one on the basis of other peoples replies is pointless.

There is only the fact that she was free to specify whatever she wanted to happen to her estate, as everyone is entitled to - at least I think in England. In Scotland it works differently.

I would certainly be obtaining a copy of the will and also find out whose name the house is actually in. If a will in England goes through probate (I think all wills that leave property go through probate) then it should be obtainable from the probate register and the current owner of the house should be obtainable from the Land Registry, both at relatively low cost (a few £).

As other people mention, I wouldn't be taking the eldest sons word for it that a will exists. And if a will does not exist then it becomes a matter of dying intestate which has a whole load of extra rules as to how the estate should be divided up - certainly the eldest doesn't get to choose how it is done so.