Remarriage

[Thesafetygeneral]

I been separated for a few years and the divorce was finalised last year.
I share children with my ex and we’re very amicable. We don’t holiday together or go out drinking but meet up socially at school events and speak regularly.
I would like to re-marry. The question is, do you think I should tell him that before I set a date and tell people or is it none of his business?
Am I being unreasonable to think it’s none of his business or unkind?

It doesn’t have to be his actual business.

But if you’d rather he found out from you, then why not tell him 🤷‍♀️

how long have you been with your new partner? how old are the children and how will this impact them?

it would probably be helpful to tell the ex before you set a date, because otherwise the children could go to him with questions about mums new marriage plans and he won't be able to answer.

I think you tell ex first as its courteous thing to do to the other parent of your children. Especially since you are cordial. Even more so before you start telling people.

A simple text is fine.

Thanks all, I think you’re right about giving them the heads up too.

As a pp said, if you'd rather he heard it from you then why not tell him?

You remarrying will be a massive deal for your shared children - probably the biggest thing to happen to them since the divorce. Their dad has a right to know asap, and indeed it is important that he does so he can help them with their feelings about it, etc. I wouldn’t think of it as “telling your Ex”, I’d think of it as “telling my DCs’ father”.