Would you go away if DC was unwell?

[LostittoBostik]

I’ve had a rough year with DC being unwell (nothing serious, just lots of things) and I sort of knew this would happen.

have one night away planned mid week with friends. It’s been in the diary for over six months.

of course one child has woken up with a raging fever and there has been tonsillitis going round her class so I don’t think it’s going to be 24 hour thing (but we’ll see)

obviouslt her dad will be here but would you go anyway in that situation? In all honestly their dad is dismissive of illness in general and tbh I know I’d just be worrying all the time so tempted to cancel but I’m so frustrated as I get so little time away and to decompress. Life is just endless work and childcare and I was really looking forward to 36 hours of total me time

tbh either way it’s ruined now anyway as I won’t relax

I’m so fucked off

I wouldn’t as I’d worry all the time. Also my kid wants mommy when is ill so I’d expect to be on the phone all the time if I went.
has your DC had bloodwork done? Would many illnesses be due to vitamin deficiencies?

I agree I don’t think I’ll enjoy it at all so might as well give it a miss

no, nothing wrong generally - one of them needed routine surgery and was off, another is under long term monitoring for an irrelevant issue, plus the general usual gastro bugs etc etc.

the one who is ill now is perfectly healthy in general - it’s just been a rough year overall and particularly chaotic mainly with the child since Easter

im not worried on a deep level about this Dc, just on a normal parental concern when ill

it’s so so frustrating….

How old is she?

8

I'd probably cancel because if one of my children is ill then mostly likely I'll be getting ill too so the night away might be ruined anyway and might spread illness.

Should also had she has ASD so isn’t as good at advocating for herself/ describing symptoms as some kids her age and can feel more overwhelmed by being off kilter (doesn’t just calmly lean into illness and rest)

Would 💯 agree with this if it was vomiting but I rarely pick up fever type things my children get

Does anyone think the opposite? That you’d just go as it’s the only opportunity?

I'd go but then i know my partner would ensure they were well medicated and generally happy. Even though he wouldn't worship them at their sick bed like I might.

It never stopped my parents. I can think of 3 hospital stays at that age with not even a visit from my parents.
My PIL would always come and pick up my kids when they were ill. They’d bring them back when they’d recovered. As a teacher I just wasn’t allowed to take the time off.
I’d happily do that for my kids/grandkids I think.
So yes, I’d go. They have their DF.

I would go - but i know my husband would 100% be absolutely fine looking after them - if its a hospital thing then i would cancel...

Personally no. My sister and brother in law wouldn’t question it though, in their world their needs come first!

I would go too.

I would be really annoyed and disappointed, like you, but no I wouldn't go.

I guess I feel like by having a child, which was my decision, I have signed up to things like this. I expect a certain number of things I want to do to be cancelled or postponed over the coming years because of my child and that's OK (I say somewhat begrudgingly 😂)

I'm kind of trying to mentally acknowledge that these years won't last forever, and at the other side of it I can have as much me time as I want.

It is bloody annoying when it happens though.

I probably wouldn't, because when my kids were ill, they'd always want me rather than dad! And I wouldn't be able to relax and enjoy it.

It’s only one night. See how she is tomorrow then decide

I would probably go because it is really important that you don't always end up being the default parent for everything. My dad was the main carer when I was sick though, so that may be why I think it is fine to leave. My DH is also very conscientious when it comes to illness.

@LostittoBostik
If it was a couple of nights I probably wouldn't but it's one night.
Let DH handle it, sounds like you could do with a break.
Sorry if I've missed it but how old is DC?
You could ring or facetime.
The mum guilt is real but this has been booked a long time and probably not something you'll get a chance to do again for a long time.
If it was life threatening I obviously wouldn't go but even if its tonsillitis DH can cope.
You may worry whilst you're away but DC will be safe, looked after and you can stay in contact.

Would try to get her to GP to rule out need for antibiotics. If needed I would trust DH to give them to her and monitor the situation for 24 hours while I was gone.

I would totally go. It’s one night and the child isn’t incredibly poorly. Try to enjoy yourself without feeling guilty.

Same, this is our situation. And I remember the odd time when my mum wasn’t there when I was ill when young and I hated it.

Yes I’m not taking a call until tomorrow morning. Kids can do a total 180 in 24 hours, so fingers crossed!!

Yes, go. If you were going away for work you’d still go.

Yeah I do basically feel the same as this… but I am so frustrated as there have been a few things lately that have been scuppered. Was supposed to see a band I love last month and missed it as I was in hospital with my other DD. Anyway, as you say, this is always the risk with kids.

I wouldn’t actually - that’s a much easier call for me. I love my job, but my kids come first.