To be stressed and scared about my 30th

[30andjotthriving]

I’m 30 on the 1st August and dreading it I just feel awful. I already have bpd and this is just making me feel worse. I feel old and hopeless and just like I’m going to be so much older than people

Unfortunately you need to get a grip.

Than teenagers yea

but not people in their 40s and beyond

I think you need to get a grip. You’re 30. It’s not old so stop thinking it is. I’m 40 and I don’t feel old

trust me, I'm 44, 30 year olds make me feel old 😄. honestly my 30s were the best decade x

It’s only one day older than being 29 the day before!!

I think you’ll need to wrap your head around this one way or another, otherwise how on earth will you cope with turning 40, 50 and beyond?

We either die young or we get to keep having birthdays. Pretty obvious which is the preferable scenario 🤷🏼‍♀️

Also LOL @ feeling like you’re going to be ‘much older than people’. You’ll be much older than some people, a bit older than some people, a bit younger than some other people, a lot younger than some other people. This is quite basic stuff.

Hope you have a great birthday and manage to enjoy not being dead yet.

I'm 60+ and still feel young. I do remember thinking 30 was a big deal myself though.
I hope you get past it and find reasons to be happy, OP. Nobody but nobody is getting younger.

OP, I felt just like you when I turned 30. I am now 43 and look and feel better than ever. You couldn't pay me to go back to my twenties!

Well, I’m 57 - i still feel young - and my experience is that life just gets better and better. I far preferred my 30s to my 20s - i felt much more grounded and sorted. 40s even more so. And it was always obvious to me that the alternative to growing older was to die and i don’t want to do that for a good while yet - i have big plans for my 60s and 70s. Embrace it!

I just turned 39 and I have bloody loved my 30s - and I felt the same way you do when i was 29. The big secret about getting older is that it’s actually pretty great, but the world doesn’t want us to think that because then how would they sell us stuff to ‘keep us young’ and how would inadequate men cope with the fact that we can see through their bullshit as we grow up? 😁

Strangely enough my 30th seemed like a huge turning point at the time, more so than any other milestone birthday. I remember feeling that I was moving into new territory. No more excuses for being young and no more wearing mini skirts (or something daft like that). I was 30 at the beginning of the 90's and it was actually one of my best decades. I went to raves, wore what the hell I liked (as indeed I always had) and carried on as usual. My trepidation was totally unfounded as will yours be OP. Have a lovely birthday.

1. 30 is still very young.
2. There is nothing wrong with getting older - you gain wisdom and experience, you learn how to navigate life, you care much less than you used to about what other people think. I liked being 30, but I am much happier at 60.

It’s older than the toddlers, primary school kids, 15 year olds, 22 year olds, 28 year olds. It’s younger than the 40 year olds, the 75 year olds, the 90 year olds.

Oh dear how on earth are you going to cope with being MY age - 68???

At 30, you’re barely established in the world. Think about it - you’ve only been in your career for what? nine years? You have another 38 years of working life alone, let alone a nice retirement to look forward to.

You‘re just getting to the stage where you hit your stride and can start to afford to make a good life for yourself, enjoying earning a bit more and spending it on things you want. That might be buying somewhere to live, or choosing travel and experiences - all great ways to spend your thirties.

It’s also a time when you have a better idea of who you are and what you want, and that’s a great place to be.

Being scared of a number on a calendar isn’t really rational, and you must know that. Is there something more behind this? Are you struggling in other ways? Might be worth exploring this if so.

When I first read this I was rolling my eyes to heaven, but then I stopped and reflected on all the times I felt anxious/upset about a pending birthday. It was often about wider feelings of disappointment about unfulfilled goals and worry that I hadn’t yet reached the same milestones as my peers. Is that how you are feeling OP?

FFS OP

Get a grip! At 30 I hadn't even finished my family or been to university!

Sorry, no sympathy,

You're older at 30 than exactly the same amount of people than you are at 29 other than the babies that have been born that year!

Everyone else is also, if they're lucky, getting a year older every year. It's much better than the alternative. I've got a good few years on you and can agree with PP that thirties are excellent.

Have your party, wear the outfit, you'll wake up the next day and find that absolutely nothing has changed. You're not going to drop off a cliff.

Being in your 30s is fab! You've got all the wisdom and confidence that you didn't have in your 20s, you get more respect from people, as you're a "proper adult", but you still (touch wood) have the physical health to enjoy it all. Get some anti-ageing face and hand cream, and enjoy it!

59 here and happier than I’ve ever been. I think age is not your problem.

Give over!

My daughter turned 30 last year, now that's an event to make you feel old!

Being 30 doesn't seem old at all when you are in your 60s. But to be honest, even in my 60s I feel I am having the best time ever.

If you’ve been to any BPD therapy you should have tools to help you look at those thoughts and/or feelings and that would be a great starting point - as from my experience with my own MH struggles finding the answer to these things myself is better than other people’s answers.

I’ve had my fair share of MH struggles so I get it and if you can DM me if you’d like.

I’ve just turned 30 and I’ve had a lot of stress with the flat disrepair problems BUT I’m doing way cooler stuff than in my 20s and it’s only been 5 months. I’ve got no kids yet, but i was worried before I turned 30. It was a lovely party and I forgot why I was worrying. I’ve been sober from drugs for over a year now and the healthiest I’ve ever been. I really like being 30, so far!! I’m climbing mountains (just did my second one yesterday) and planning a trip to Japan. OP life is what you make it and you can live a wonderful life. My 20s absolutely suuuuucked.

I will be 70 next month and would love to be 30 again😁

70 bloody hell that sounds really old but I feel young - perhaps I am in denial.

As someone double your age plus a bit, I'd advise you not to waste your (young) life fretting about being old, because you're objectively not.

Just enjoy it as it goes sooo fast from there!!! I can’t believe am 50 in 3 years it’s bizarre!! I don’t reveal my real age as I feel so old and most people/ friends are younger than me but they look older than me.