My mum has thrown away over £150 worth of makeup and medication

[nostyleandnoclothes]

I have a small pouch that I carry around with me everyday. It’s got a lot of medication in it (antihistamines, painkillers, stomach medicine), as well as 5 lip sticks and 4 lip liners. In total it comes to over £150 worth of stuff in a space NK small pounce (which is expensive in itself!).

I was at my mum’s on Thursday night when she complained about her having bad hay fever. I pulled out the pouch and handed it to her, and although I thought I’d put it back in my bag I must’ve left it on the side. I realised tonight it’s missing as I’ve gone through my bag ahead of work tomorrow and she’s admitted that she has thrown it away.

AIBU to say she should replace it? Both the makeup and medication she’s thrown away?

Only on MN would you find a whole load of people claiming they have never in their lives left anything behind anywhere and that anyone that does is a complete moron 🙄🙄

Im sure they’d be horrified to hear of the three occasions I’ve been contacted by kind strangers who have found my mums phone and had to go and get it back off them, or the time I had to meet an uber driver at his day job after my dad left his phone in his car the night before 😁

It doesn't sound to me like they are going to do that, though?

I agree it's rude that they haven't at least been embarrassed and apologetic.

She made an innocent mistake putting something in her house into her bin. If it's important to you you should try to retrieve it. Otherwise I would say it's obviously not that important and you shouldn't ask her to replace it.

This is your mum OP. The person that raised you and I presume would still nurse you if you got sick and needed her help. Just buy a new bag and start building up your collection again - and it doesn't need to be such expensive stuff if you can't afford it. There is a saying if you can't afford to buy it twice then you can't afford to buy it once.

There is a saying if you can't afford to buy it twice then you can't afford to buy it once.

What sort of nonsense is that? “I have the money to buy a car but I’m just going to walk for two hours to work instead because I don’t have the money for two cars” 🙄🙄🙄

Sorry I don't know what a Space NK Pouch looks like but I find it hard to believe that someone in her 50s or 60s would throw away something that is obviously a make up bag full of items, unless she has some sort of mental decline going on.

It's not credible.

In any case she should replace it.

Breaking anything if it's an accident means the person who did it should cough up.

Do you get on?

Did she do it out of spite?

I'd be mortified if I did that to my DDs expensive make up.

How do you think anyone can put a make up bag into the bin?

She'd have to pick it up, feel the weight, and what then? Chuck it away?
I don't buy that.

Presumably one of these: https://www.spacenk.com/uk/accessories/makeup-and-travel-bags?srule=Best_sellers_7days

Aside from the fact most are see through, no chance any of them were “accidentally” mistaken for rubbish!

Simple really. You should take better care of your own things.

I think your mum is awful

my dm or I always keep and give back stuff and my dcs do too, perfectly normal

also is there no separate food waste where she lives or is she too selfish to bother
?

plus the only reason you got pouch out was to help her out

Jesus F#ck. Maybe so, but she doesn't deserve her stuff to be chucked in the bin, for God's Sake. Whatever happened to respecting other people's property?

Simple really. Don't stick the boot in and you'll be a much nicer person.

I’ve raked through bins for items much less valuable 😂

I think it's weird that we identify it as a mental illness when people gather huge quantities of stuff in their houses; yet we don't do the same when people at the other end of the spectrum seem to have an abject fear of anything in their houses, even for a short time and owned by a known (supposed) loved one, that they don't instantly identify a personal need and want for - and just chuck it all in a bin.

Apart from anything else, even if she did genuinely have knowledge that you definitely no longer wanted any of those things, why would she bin them? Are people so privileged and self-absorbed that they bin perfectly good stuff, instead of dropping it off at a charity shop (and some of them leave a bag and collect from your doorstep) so that somebody can use it? Actually, yes, they are... you only have to see at the council tip, where all the well-off selfish people would rather drive there and throw away good furniture, toys and all manner of other good stuff rather than even consider a less privileged person/family having it.

I didn't say she deserved it. But if £100+ of my stuff was accidentally (or even purposely) but in the bin I would be looking for it, not "oh no my mum should because it's more her fault than mine". Well her mum was never going to was she!

But nobody NEEDS lipstick at all. It's a product to help you boost your confidence as to how you look to the rest of the world, so how would that work if you knew that it had been soaked in slimy chicken juice?

I would not be rummaging through the bin or reusing these items, not a hope.
Tell her to cough up. I would bring her to small claims court if she refused. It’ll teach her to respect people’s property. Why shouldn’t she replace it. I threw out a plastic bag a guest had left behind accidentally, someone had added rubbish, the bin was emptied that money. I paid for the lost items, and rightly so.

Your DM is making me so angry. I can’t believe you’ve had to do that and she thinks it’s funny and still won’t replace it?! It’s so disrespectful!

There was a thread a while back whereby the OP had left her Air Buds (is that what they're called - fancy expensive ear phones?) in an Air BnB in Paris; and the thread was full of people who were outraged that the business owner should charge for their/their staff's time in returning something to a different country, to somebody who knew that they were vacating a business premises to which they wouldn't be returning but hadn't bothered to give it a quick check over before leaving, anything above the cost of the postage - citing it as a very easy mistake to make, totally forgivable, to be expected.

Yet on this thread, there are people claiming that, if you leave personal items at your own parents' home - a place which you're clearly expecting to return to soon - it's entirely your own fault and nothing more than you deserve if they get summarily binned in with a load of rancid old food slops.

I agree. It's the same crazy thinking that people come out with when they want to split a restaurant bill where they've had a big blow-out, so that they can have their bill subbed by somebody who ate and drank modestly: "You can't afford to buy something if you can't afford to also buy something else that's a lot more expensive (but weirdly I can afford to eat out when I'm relying on others to pay for a large amount of the exact things that I ordered and consumed)".

I’m glad you retrieved it, I would have done the same.

I’m sorry it’s ruined.

If I was your mum I would give you at least half of the money towards it, but I guess her response will be that it was your fault for leaving it there.

Lets hope she never leaves anything at yours if she thinks it should just be thrown away.

That’s so off but I would go though the bin. Or else tell her you can’t afford to replace it so she needs to.

Are you 12? This is so bloody childish. You sound like my young kids refusing to take a mug to the kitchen as it wasn't their mug.

Except its worse, as it is actually is your stuff and you do actually want it back!.

Whatever OP. Stand on your imagined principle and never get your stuff or your money back. Your loss.

Sorry just seen you retrieved it - then ask her to replace

Exactly! I don't think I've ever seen a thread with such horrible mean-spirited comments to the OP, without, in my opinion, any reason for such vitriol. I don't know what's got into some of the people on this thread. 😕