Just moved into new house and neighbour has wind chimes.

[Crystalcrazy]

Just moved into a new house and my neighbour has wind chimes.

I have autism and adhd. I’m also deaf but only to certain tones which has made my ears compensate by amplifying others. So I am highly sensitive to sound and noise. When watching TV I have to have the remote in my hand so I can immediately press mute if needed. My preferred environment is silence.

I know not everyone will understand this or even care. I’m writing more for myself to get the words out of my head. But wind chimes are one of my biggest anxieties, you just can’t control the noise from them, it’s always there. If I knew the neighbour had them, I wouldn’t have bought this house.

The neighbour is so kind and friendly. I met them on previous viewings and they really are lovely. We’ve just moved in and they invited me round to show me their garden which they’re incredibly proud of. They have lots of garden decorations, solar lights, having baskets etc and clearly get a lot of enjoyment and pleasure from it.

On the tour I heard and spotted the wind chimes, they’re very near to our house and garden, probably less than six feet away. My heart sunk but I smiled and carried on with the viewing, complimenting them on how beautiful their garden is.

Then came back to our new home and wanted to cry. You can hear them in our garden and near to the door.

I have severe anxiety and I’m a terrible over thinker. I’m having CBT to try and help, one of my main issues is catastrophic thinking and jumping immediately to worst case scenario’s. I will not be able to speak to my neighbour about this for fear of offending or upsetting them or being seen as strange.

I have some ear plugs designed to filter noises but personally I haven’t noticed much difference when using them.

I know this is a me problem and my broken brain. But right now I’m obsessing and can’t sleep.

Just a thought we have crazy gusts of wind here in the south west today, that would make them worse?
Or break them completely. Garden table and umbrella have been across the lawn a few times.

Had you noticed the sound of them before you actually saw them in the garden? I assume you didn't go and view neighbours garden the minute you arrived but you mention seeing the chimes and then noticing the noise, rather than being in your home and being disturbed by it initially? Do you think it is maybe some maximizing in your thinking and catastrophic thinking that's causing you to hyper focus on it? Perhaps if you could find techniques to focus less on the noise and more on your response to it that might help? Your therapist should be able to help you with that. With that said if it's loud and really audible in your house you could perhaps ask your neighbors to move it to another part of their garden, I don't think that's unreasonable at all. Do you have any pets you could blame it on 😅

On the tour I heard and spotted the wind chimes, they’re very near to our house and garden, probably less than six feet away.

As she seemed nice, I think mentioning the chimes are annoying/distracting for you and would she mind moving them further away, would be reasonable.

She may take them down entirely.

You don't need to tell her all your conditions. There is nothing wrong with not liking the sound of wind chimes or being a sensitive person for whatever reason. i find them unbearable and would cut them down if need be... But she seems nice enough to broach the prospect of moving them considerably away from your garden and house.

As other posters have mentioned if I were your neighbour and you explained what you said in your 2nd post then I would take them down immediately, and happily with nothing but understanding for your situation.
I think I big bunch of flowers or a nice plant, and write down everything in a card, knock at the door and say I have something to ask you but I don't want to put you on the spot and obviously I have no right to ask, so I've written it down, the gift is a thank you for showing me round your beautiful garden and taking time to read my request.
The only alternative might be that they moved them right next to their bedroom window, which in my view is the only place to put wind chimes as they are awful, I think we'd get really fed up after a bit of wind!

They didn’t bother you until you saw them.

is this so much about the wind chimes, or just your awareness of their existence?

If you were my neighbour who came to me asking for help with reducing windchime noise I would take them down without hesitation. Thank goodness they are not as popular as they used to be. I would be a bit worried that you might be a very sensitive person who would have future requests of me as a neighbour but I would want to be as helpful as I can. Most people want to be neighbourly.

Thank you for the replies.

I think I have worked out why I didn’t notice them on the viewing. They are very near to a tall, solid gate in the neighbours garden.

When the gate is closed it shields them a little from the wind but when the gate is open, they’re almost in a wind tunnel.

The gate has been open quite a lot today and they have been clanging non stop, I can hear them in the house and garden. I’ve stayed inside and shut the doors and windows.

I’ve also ordered some loop quiet ear plugs which I’m hoping will deaden the noise.

I’m going to give it a few days to settle in and then try to bring it into conversation with the neighbour somehow. Maybe next time I speak to them I’ll apologise if I ever don’t hear them talk to me and I’ll explain about my hearing loss and how I’m very sensitive to certain sounds.

Maybe I’ll say I can hear wind chimes and they’re really loud but not sure where it’s coming from.

I know this seems like a cowards way out rather than speaking to them directly but I really dislike confrontation. So I’ll try to find a way to talk about my issue in a less direct way which won’t annoy them.

Wind chimes are a particularly annoying sound probably because they are sporadic and irregular. I used to live near an airport and never even noticed planes overhead but my neighbour's wind chimes would keep me awake on a windy night.

I’d honestly hate this beyond measure. If I viewed a house that was completely perfect and I could hear wind chimes I’d not buy it. There’s a house half a mile up the road that has them and I honestly feel rage if I walk past. I fantasise about chopping them down and they don’t even affect me! They are the most obnoxious and antisocial thing ever.

I think you'll run the risk of sounding passive aggressive if you address it like that and it might come across as ruder than a direct conversation.

I think you can have a polite conversation without falling out. The worst that's going to happen is that they won't move the wind chimes (and you'd be no worse than you are now), and the best is that they won't mind taking them down.

Yes I agree with this. Better to ask them directly but politely if they could consider swapping them for a quieter ornament (that you buy) than asking them to read between the lines.

That’s the exact issue, I didn’t hear or see them on the viewing. And yesterday and today, they’ve just been clanking away.

I really can’t bear them, a friend has them and takes them down when I visit as they know the circumstances.

I’m also worried that if I mention it, they might be annoyed and buy more to kind of prove a point. Some people unfortunately tick in that way.

Instead of enjoying our new home, I’m thinking I won’t be spending time in the garden and wondering if I’ll be wearing earplugs for the indefinite future.

Well, think. How long does it take from viewing a house to completion? A couple of days? Really? A purchase being completed now would have been viewed possibly 4-6 months ago. Did you really have your windows wide open in January?

My NDN also has wooden clanking windchimes. Now it's hot we can hear them indoors as well as outside. I fantasise about climbing over at night and removing them. Why do people think it's reasonable?

Please ignore RedSnails habituation idea. That is the very worst thing you can do if you have misophonia and will make it a million times worse.

You said they were friendly, so they don't sound the types to go out and buy more wind chimes just because you ask them to take them down. That would be unusual behaviour on their part.

We had wind chimes. Neighbour asked us to take them down if it was windy since they upset their dog. So we just took them down completely, no big deal. Just ask your neighbor politely. They might be fine with it. It’s not likely to be some kind of family heirloom.

Buy your neighbour a thoughtful gift for her garden and then say that you have a favour and ask her.
i have also moved and have a similar problem from next door. I am trying mind over matter and it’s working so far

If you do say anything, perhaps have a garden mobile to give them as replacement? I have 5 or 6 solar mobiles that look pretty in the evenings.