Just moved into new house and neighbour has wind chimes.

[Crystalcrazy]

Just moved into a new house and my neighbour has wind chimes.

I have autism and adhd. I’m also deaf but only to certain tones which has made my ears compensate by amplifying others. So I am highly sensitive to sound and noise. When watching TV I have to have the remote in my hand so I can immediately press mute if needed. My preferred environment is silence.

I know not everyone will understand this or even care. I’m writing more for myself to get the words out of my head. But wind chimes are one of my biggest anxieties, you just can’t control the noise from them, it’s always there. If I knew the neighbour had them, I wouldn’t have bought this house.

The neighbour is so kind and friendly. I met them on previous viewings and they really are lovely. We’ve just moved in and they invited me round to show me their garden which they’re incredibly proud of. They have lots of garden decorations, solar lights, having baskets etc and clearly get a lot of enjoyment and pleasure from it.

On the tour I heard and spotted the wind chimes, they’re very near to our house and garden, probably less than six feet away. My heart sunk but I smiled and carried on with the viewing, complimenting them on how beautiful their garden is.

Then came back to our new home and wanted to cry. You can hear them in our garden and near to the door.

I have severe anxiety and I’m a terrible over thinker. I’m having CBT to try and help, one of my main issues is catastrophic thinking and jumping immediately to worst case scenario’s. I will not be able to speak to my neighbour about this for fear of offending or upsetting them or being seen as strange.

I have some ear plugs designed to filter noises but personally I haven’t noticed much difference when using them.

I know this is a me problem and my broken brain. But right now I’m obsessing and can’t sleep.

How can you hear wind chimes when you are indoors watching TV?

Considering your various extreme sensitivities moving anywhere with neighbours is going to be an huge risk. You should have moved somewhere isolated.

That's difficult OP. You can talk to them or ask someone to talk to them on your behalf if you want to try. However, I have windchimes. They belong to my autistic daughter who they soothe. I find them soothing as well. So I'd be declining since we have our own special needs on this side of the fence. If possible, you might find some middle ground where the chimes can be moved by your neighbour.

You may find they aren't going that often. I know mine don't.

Could it be that you are already in a heightened state of awareness due to the stress of moving to a new place, and in this state your brain is finding things to latch on to be anxious about? So it is more about an expression of your inner stress and anxiety about the new situation rather than a real problem with the wind chimes? I am asking because this is what happens to me when I am in such situations and I get fixated on things being a problem when they aren't really. I find taking a minute to stop and think about what I am really anxious about helps me refocus and calm down.

This. We have neighbours who have an autistic child who sings and screams very loud whilst on a very loud and rickety swing until late at night and another neighbour who plays basketball in his garden around 10pm

They very likely can, depending on the type. I have a different issue, extremely noisy neighbours yet they aren't attached to me they are 100 feet away at the bottom of my garden but I can hear everything inside my house. Interestingly to the poster who said both wind chimes and water fountains are noise pollution, I have had to install a speaker half way between my house (in my garden) and theirs which I only use to play running water, eg subtle waterfalls, as white noise. If I didn't, despite the fact I can still hear most of their continual racket, I would go mad.
OP I think you might be able to speak to your neighbours about this however sadly there are always external noises we can't control.

I bloody hate wind chimes

My sympathies. Good luck for them deciding to move.

Ok. You don't have a right to get your NDN to move them.

But building on your last positive meeting I'd go back to see your NDN wearing your hearing aids and say that you are embarrassed to raise this issue but that did to your hearing issues you are very sensitive to certain noises including her wind charms. If she is remotely reasonable she will at least agree to relocate them elsewhere in her garden.

Make a mental plan for how you handle the conversation! Maybe take her a cake as a neighbourly act. Make her your friend before launching into the wind charm question.

I have wind chimes in my garden and I love them. If you were my neighbour and you explained the effect they were having on you, I would get rid of them in a heartbeat. I think you should have a conversation with your neighbour and give them the opportunity to be kind.

I completely empathize.

I hate, hate, hate the sound of wind chimes. I think it's the random and unpredictable nature of the noise they make.

Someone in a neighbouring garden had them (no idea which garden as there are about 8 gardens that all back into each other) for a few years, but luckily it was fairly distant and they aren't there now.
They were wooden plinky plonky ones. Plinky, plinky, plonk . . .plink . . plonk. Plonk, plonk, plonk, plinky plinky plonk.

Just an awful noise.

I'd say chat to your neighbour in a really polite and friendly way about it - they may not care about taking them down - they are only a decoration after all - not vital to existence.

You get used to wind chimes very quickly. My neighbour got some and I thought they would drive me mad but I soon habituated.

If you don’t get used to them you can just talk to the neighbours.

I feel for you OP. You sound like a very kind person and I am sorry that your sensory processing is being adversely affected by the wind chimes. I wonder if you were to explain what you have shared with us here in this forum with your neighbour it might help address the problem. You could write it down so you have your thoughts organised and let them know. Make them a cake and tea and a gift for their garden perhaps and see if you can sit down together and find some kind of resolution? There is no harm in asking them to explore moving the wind chimes due to the affect it is having on your sensory processing and mental well being. They sound friendly. I think no harm in asking. The may say no and that is it their right to do so, but with luck they won’t take that position and will make an accommodation for the sake of neighbourly peace.

If she's nice she really wouldn't mind you asking... Sometimes people don't consider these things, and she might be happy you informed her... like you'd be surprised how many people are oblivious like that

I really wouldn't appreciate someone bringing me a cake I won't eat, or other efforts to butter me up. Just come and talk to me. Knock on my door, introduce yourself, have a cuppa with me. I will explain to you why I can't get rid of the wind chime, but I'd move it if I could to meet you half way. Bringing cake or anything else doesn't change the sensory needs of my own child that the wind chime soothes.

I have wind chimes. I also have neighbours with barking dogs, screaming kids, music, trampolines, a motor bike etc.The wind chimes don’t compete with any of that but I chose a home with neighbours so we live and let live. I suspect your focus on the wind chime has become overwhelming but would removing them solve the issue or would you fixate on another sound?

You've said you can hear them in your garden and around your back door...is that right? If so, they're not all-pervasive but you have fixated on them so now they are. Your anxiety over being disturbed by them is exacerbating the disturbance, which in turn is exacerbating your anxiety...and so on. It's a thought loop that is very difficult to get out of.
On top of that you've just moved house, which is a momentous upheaval and plagued with worry and doubts, even if the move is the right thing.
You're going to feel strung out for a while.

You have two options.

1. Explain yourself to your neighbour just as you have here and ask her to take them down. No idea how that will go...new neighbours complaining tends to get people's backs up. If she has knowledge and/or sympathy regarding your autism she might be quite happy to remove them.

2. Grit your teeth until they become background noise...which they will, even if that takes much longer for you than most.

This. Did you even notice them until you went round, even though they’d been there before?

I like silence as well so I often wear ear plugs. That should help with sleep.

How soon did your neighbours give you the tour after you moved in?

I think that there must be a way to write her a little note explaining some of what you said.
Imo it would be better since it's all new, that you don't tell them all of your diagnoses in case they aren't a safe person to know all of it, but try and stick to the physical one. Mention that you are partially deaf and that it makes certain sounds amplified and you are not trying to be a pain, but for some annoying reason the sound of the wind chimes is really loud and distorted for you.
Ask if it would be possible to have them further away from the house or a set that has a lower tone maybe?

Set yourself a deadline of a couple is weeks to see if you can get used to them.
If still struggling, then a polite word saying you know they don’t have to, but you would really appreciate them being moved/removed. I like the idea of offering to replace them with something at your cost.

Can you get yourself a water fountain, that should drown out the noise

Metal ones I just about tolerate but those awful wooden ones clunking away are awful

What meds are you on now, do they need review?

Cant stand the things, they drive me mad.

Can you actually hear them from your house, or is it now you’ve spotted them you’re imagining the worst? I would speak to your neighbour. Heap praise on them about their garden, but mention the wind chime and would they mind taking them down. Be super polite and nice, and they may take them down. I would if someone told me how much distress they caused them. You’ve nothing to lose!

Get partner to speak to them