Just moved into new house and neighbour has wind chimes.

[Crystalcrazy]

Just moved into a new house and my neighbour has wind chimes.

I have autism and adhd. I’m also deaf but only to certain tones which has made my ears compensate by amplifying others. So I am highly sensitive to sound and noise. When watching TV I have to have the remote in my hand so I can immediately press mute if needed. My preferred environment is silence.

I know not everyone will understand this or even care. I’m writing more for myself to get the words out of my head. But wind chimes are one of my biggest anxieties, you just can’t control the noise from them, it’s always there. If I knew the neighbour had them, I wouldn’t have bought this house.

The neighbour is so kind and friendly. I met them on previous viewings and they really are lovely. We’ve just moved in and they invited me round to show me their garden which they’re incredibly proud of. They have lots of garden decorations, solar lights, having baskets etc and clearly get a lot of enjoyment and pleasure from it.

On the tour I heard and spotted the wind chimes, they’re very near to our house and garden, probably less than six feet away. My heart sunk but I smiled and carried on with the viewing, complimenting them on how beautiful their garden is.

Then came back to our new home and wanted to cry. You can hear them in our garden and near to the door.

I have severe anxiety and I’m a terrible over thinker. I’m having CBT to try and help, one of my main issues is catastrophic thinking and jumping immediately to worst case scenario’s. I will not be able to speak to my neighbour about this for fear of offending or upsetting them or being seen as strange.

I have some ear plugs designed to filter noises but personally I haven’t noticed much difference when using them.

I know this is a me problem and my broken brain. But right now I’m obsessing and can’t sleep.

Can I ask why?

I have lots of wind chimes but only two work and they make a tinkling noise. No one has complained and my NDN is always moaning about something even though you can hear her radio in the garden, but she has never said anything about my tingling chimes.

I don't think it's reasonable to ask the OP to wait several weeks to see if she suddenly doesn't notice the wind chimes. I don't have ASD or sensory issues but they drive me mad as well. Nobody should be installing this form of noise pollution in their garden.

OP, I would just knock and explain that you're sensitive to sound and ask if they'd consider removing the wind chimes. Don't offer to buy a replacement piece of tat or anything like that. The neighbour is in the wrong for having them in the first place.

So you didn't know they had them until you saw them? They can't be that intrusive then.

I sympathise, I have misophonia. If you can’t ask them to take them down can you reframe the issue. When you hear it train your brain to think there’s that noise that brings my lovely neighbour so much pleasure.

This may help to hear this- my aunty and uncle bought wind chimes to hang in their garden tree and loved them. Their next door neighbour told them that she hated the noise and they immediately removed them out of consideration for her. There was no fall out and they’re all friendly. They didn’t think she was strange or demanding as they understand everyone is different. I tell you this as I like to think that most people are reasonable and would hate to think that something they’re doing is causing distress. It sounds like your neighbour wants you to be happy as her neighbour. Please do speak to her as this can easily be resolved.

Count your blessings.

The many threads on here about antisocial summer behaviour (large groups of people congregating in back gardens / screeching children / thumping music all afternoon through to midnight / incessantly barking dogs / regular barbecues, etc - often for consecutive days) make your post seem insensitive.

It’s not a race to the bottom. Just because the Ops noise issue isn’t seen as bad as some other people have, doesn’t mean she should just be grateful and is insensitive.

I hate wind chimes with a passion they are really, really annoying and I am not neurodiverse.

I think your only options are to explain the situation to your neighbour and hope they are reasonable or wear headphones outside. I would put some background music on indoors while you have the windows open.

Hopefully they don't survive high wind or storm - so roll on October!

I don’t think they would. Basketball neighbour is really nice so kind of have to put up with it. Autistic one, what can I do about that? Her mum is lovely and I would like to make friends with her. At the end of the day they can’t stop their dd can they. I feel guilty for being annoyed by it

If the neighbours are lively could you perhaps explain to them your issues and ask if they could possibly move them further down the garden?

You sound very reasonable. You're allowed to be annoyed by it but you're handling it with grace and understanding. I don't see any problem on your side at all.

I think this is good advice. I also had to ask my neighbour to take down the wind chime and she agreed.

@thereisnomeaning
Aah thanks. Yeah as I get older I’m trying to get less annoyed. Between us though it is annoying to hear certain songs being screeched loudly again and again whilst trying to relax in the garden lol

Years ago we put wind chimes in the garden. Our neighbour came round a while after and asked us to take them down. We did without a second thought as we wouldn't want to be the source of annoyance.
Now I cant believe we ever bought them to start with 😄 But there's every chance your neighbours will be fine if you explain too.

It’s not a race to the bottom, but by considering how very much worse a lot of people have to put up with, the #op might feel relieved and be better able to cope.

I'd be very surprised if your neighbour refused to take them down. Perhaps if you're nervous about speaking directly to them, you could write a letter saying some of what you've put here. Reiterate how nice they've been, how happy you are that they're your neighbours, and how lovely you think their garden is. Also I like the idea someone mentioned - offer to buy them something else to replace it.

Please ask your neighbour politely if they’d consider taking them down. I adore wind chimes but I’d absolutely move mine if they caused such distress to neighbours. We love rurally with no neighbours so I have tons but if I lived in town, I’d take them down if my neighbour asked.

@NiceOutfitFeelGood, please don’t repost the entire OP, especially when you’re the first person to reply. It’s bloody annoying and unnecessary.

Why not explain to the neighbours and ask if they will move the wind chimes further from your boundary?

I do too.

Someone near us has windchimes and I find them really nice when I'm drifting off to sleep.

If you didn't notice it when you went round the house before, the chances are they are not that intrusive as they probably were there. When things are there all the time then you notice them less.

I've lived next to a military air base, and in a town where loads of church bells ring every 15 minutes. When you first move in you notice every bit of it, then very quickly it becomes part of the place and you don't mind it at all.*

*You do still notice miliary aircraft flying low, but you get so used to pausing, waiting till they've gone and continuing that it's not something you remember. The church bells you didn't even register they were happening most of the time.

You're not the thread police, stop trying to tell people what to do. Its annoying and unnecessary for you to have posted your post.

Totally agree with this! You have to train your ears to stop noticing certain noises.

I used to live near a railway line and at first the trains drove me crazy, and then after about 6 months I realised I didn't notice them any more.

I also live near-ish to an airbase and get quite used to the constant aircraft and helicopters coming over quite low. It's only when I have guests staying who constantly have to go look up who seem baffled why I am not bothered!

@Crystalcrazy look up something called habituation training where you expose yourself to the noise until you get used to it e.g. put in headphones playing loud windchime noises until your brain accepts it's an everyday noise.

I'm sure there was a thread on here many yrs back where someone cut some down?

I sympathise op.
Let yourself get more settled in your home and acclimatised.
Then see how how it goes with them, there might be an opportunity to bring it up with your neighbours at some point in a conversation.