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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think my husband cannot police our adult daughter’s diet?

55 replies

Foghornhooter · 10/07/2026 21:41

DD is 21 and back from uni for summer. DD has a job for the summer and due back for final year Oct. DH and I are financially helping her with food, expenses and she pays no board while at home in the holidays.
DD eats a healthy diet and quite a few dried fruit snacks. Over the last couple of weeks her bowel movements have meant the bathroom has a terrible lingering pungent smell and the movements themselves have been a little difficult to move on (iyswim!).
Well, my DH has been demanding to know exactly what DD is eating as he thinks her diet is the reason why her bowel movements are the way they are. DD rightly stated that she’s an adult and can choose what she eats but DH disagreed and told her that for as long as we’re funding her through her studies then he has a right to know exactly what she’s eating. I disagreed and thought he was joking tbh, but he wasn’t and he got really angry at which point he got up and turned to me saying ‘fuck you’. He thinks we owe him an apology for laughing at him when actually we just thought the whole thing was ridiculous.

OP posts:
Decacaffeinatednow · 10/07/2026 21:44

WTF??

AbzMoz · 10/07/2026 21:45

Is this behavior out of character, because it’s certainly absolutely absurd!
Wow

lazyarse123 · 10/07/2026 21:45

That is grim. He has no rights over her bodily functions. You can have a conversation with her to see if her bowels have changed recently but if she's not worried end of conversation. Tell your dh from me to get to fuck.

Arlanymor · 10/07/2026 21:46

He can't tell her what to eat. She can't leave the bathroom smelly or dirty.

And he shouldn't swear at anyone over it. He can have a proper conversation about wanting his home clean and tidy without being obnoxious, even if her emissions are, well, noxious!

SkippitySkoppity · 10/07/2026 21:46

Is this a Friday night poo troll caper? 🤔

Darragon · 10/07/2026 21:46

Hmm… 🤔

LauraJaneGrace · 10/07/2026 21:46

I'd say her diet is her business, but she should be doing something about it if she's blocking up the shared toilet and stinking out shared spaces.

Sparkletastic · 10/07/2026 21:46

SkippitySkoppity · 10/07/2026 21:46

Is this a Friday night poo troll caper? 🤔

Yup

thistimelastweek · 10/07/2026 21:48

Surely no?

Foghornhooter · 10/07/2026 21:48

I’d love to say it’s a joke but unfortunately not.

OP posts:
AnonSugar · 10/07/2026 21:48

🤨 what the?

Moveoverdarlin · 10/07/2026 21:50

She’s an adult and she can choose what she eats, but she’s also an adult who can make sure her turds flush away and spray a bit of Glade.

Problem solved.

Tryingtobenormal124 · 10/07/2026 21:51

Get her to sort the loo before she leaves it. Shes a grown up! But hubby out of order

InfoSecInTheCity · 10/07/2026 21:51

He’s very clearly going about this all wrong but he might have a small point in that if it really is that bad then there’s clearly something not quite right. Either her diet is too high in fat which is usually the cause of very smelly and hard to flush movements or there’s something off about her digestion like gluten intolerance, coeliac or IBD.

He needs to stop coming at her like a freight train and if his concern is her health he should focus on whether there are other symptoms that might mean seeing a doctor would be a good idea.

Foghornhooter · 10/07/2026 21:52

I agree and she agrees to make sure it’s left nice for the next person. But it’s just DH’s reaction really

OP posts:
giddyboo · 10/07/2026 21:52

SkippitySkoppity · 10/07/2026 21:46

Is this a Friday night poo troll caper? 🤔

Agree.

Foghornhooter · 10/07/2026 21:53

giddyboo · 10/07/2026 21:52

Agree.

Wish it was!

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 10/07/2026 21:55

Well dd needs better manners of cleaning toilet and using air freshener.

Foghornhooter · 10/07/2026 21:57

AbzMoz · 10/07/2026 21:45

Is this behavior out of character, because it’s certainly absolutely absurd!
Wow

Edited

No this is not out of character and not the first time DH has reacted absurdly like this. He fails to see how ‘controlling’ he comes across and can’t seem to accept a different point of view of things…he expects an apology for being ‘criticised’ and ‘laughed at’ yet he always finds it difficult to apologise without smirking which is strange I think

OP posts:
Madamefroufrou · 10/07/2026 22:15

Foghornhooter · 10/07/2026 21:48

I’d love to say it’s a joke but unfortunately not.

well you would say that, wouldn’t you !?!

Springtimeinsunshine · 10/07/2026 22:25

None of this would have happened if DD had been taught to clean the loo after herself. I really hope she doesn't share the bathroom at uni Shock

whistlesandbells · 10/07/2026 22:25

She pays no ‘board’ while she is back from uni?!?

Yeah…

Why would she? Deeply inappropriate to be picking up loo issues. Free rent at such a price.

Gardenisablooming · 10/07/2026 22:30

Tell dd to bag up a poo and give it to dh for inspection..tell him any small yellow bits are sweetcorn
HTH..
He's bonkers.

suki1964 · 10/07/2026 22:38

Luckily just 2 of us here and 3 loos

I will give off if DH leaves a floater or has pebble dashed , same as he would me. but ffs toiletry habits are personal

@Foghornhooter , you have to shut him down

Shewas · 10/07/2026 22:42

She needs to take responsibility for leaving the bathroom fresh and clean, and moving on those movements, then there'll be no issue.