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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think my husband cannot police our adult daughter’s diet?

55 replies

Foghornhooter · 10/07/2026 21:41

DD is 21 and back from uni for summer. DD has a job for the summer and due back for final year Oct. DH and I are financially helping her with food, expenses and she pays no board while at home in the holidays.
DD eats a healthy diet and quite a few dried fruit snacks. Over the last couple of weeks her bowel movements have meant the bathroom has a terrible lingering pungent smell and the movements themselves have been a little difficult to move on (iyswim!).
Well, my DH has been demanding to know exactly what DD is eating as he thinks her diet is the reason why her bowel movements are the way they are. DD rightly stated that she’s an adult and can choose what she eats but DH disagreed and told her that for as long as we’re funding her through her studies then he has a right to know exactly what she’s eating. I disagreed and thought he was joking tbh, but he wasn’t and he got really angry at which point he got up and turned to me saying ‘fuck you’. He thinks we owe him an apology for laughing at him when actually we just thought the whole thing was ridiculous.

OP posts:
ladykale · 11/07/2026 09:18

He sounds unhinged but he may also just be appalled that you have an adult daughter who can’t clean up after herself after using the toilet, and he’s probably going overboard as a result

HoraceCope · 11/07/2026 09:48

or concerned about her bowel habits/diet

she no longer lives at home but has come home so there are plenty of things to be worried about ime

Laurmolonlabe · 11/07/2026 13:44

Unfortunately I think this speaks of deeper problems with your DH- why does he think he can run your daughter's life because he is finacially contributing-he is her father contributing financially is the norm these days well into their 20's.
This controling behaviour is not something to laugh at, it is ridiculous , but it is also deeply disturbing- you need to get to the bottom with your DH.

Stompythedinosaur · 11/07/2026 14:28

Yes your dd should clean up the bathroom, but that's something you could have a quiet word about.

Her dh humiliating her with a public discussion about her poo is totally inappropriate, she's a young woman!

AlwaysExtraHot · 11/07/2026 14:33

Not the point, but I find using air freshener just makes the room smell of poo + air freshener.

More seriously, I cannot imagine my DP saying ‘Fuck you’ to me (or the other way round for that matter).

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