To be really fed up with people commenting on my face?

[squashedalmondcroissant]

For context, I work in a customer facing role in a hot environment and I have pretty severe rosacea. I have obvious red patches all over my face that have joined up in places and almost looks like bad sunburn, when it flares up it is even more noticeable.

I notice a lot of people staring and I’m well aware of what I look like but as long as they don’t comment I mostly just try to ignore it and convince myself it isn’t that bad, its all in my head and I’m just being self conscious.

But more and more people are commenting and it’s really starting to piss me off. From the people openly asking what’s wrong with my face (yes, in those exact words), to people pointing at their own face and going ‘oooh’ with a pained expression, to the guy today who asked me ‘where’s your face from’ (????), AIBU to be getting pissed off?

YANBU - people should learn to shut the fuck up and keep their thoughts to themselves. It isn’t kind or helpful and someone with obvious facial differences is highly aware of what they look like and you mentioning it makes you look like a massive dick.

YABU - people are just curious and don’t mean any harm by it.

Yep. I also have melasma and its pretty bad. I swing between trying to cover it up and saying fuck it why should I! Depends on my mood on the day.

People can be assholes. Its horrible to experience. I've cried about it sometimes. I was never particularly attractive to begin with so having extra issues has made me feel very ugly. You can have all the positivity in the world but people can knock it out of you with their cruelty.

I'm sorry you're experiencing this OP. I can't offer much in the way of advice but you're not alone. 💐

@squashedalmondcroissant

💐💐💐

Just to confirm you have tried soolantra and Metronidazole

I tried azelaic acid and niacinamide first it did a big cup of nothing.
Metronidazole did almost nothing then I went on to soolantra which is slowly working and now recombining with azelaic acid i def see some progress

My above post should say Rozex - though I imagine wearing a flashy watch may distract people from looking at my red face in a helpful way 😂

I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. People are so rude - it’s none of their damn business!!! I can’t believe people actually make comments out loud and to your face - how rude and upsetting for you. I would be tempted to come up with a line something like ‘f*ck off’ or ‘it’s inappropriate for you to comment on my physical appearance’. It’s hard enough coping with a medical condition and you should not have to answer questions or give an explanation to strangers about your health!

Rosacea is a tough condition to deal with. You may have been to see about it already but if not, it’s worth chatting with your doctor about it. Sending you a hug.

I'd be tempted to tell the worst ones that it's HIDEOUSLY infectious.. :-(

I'm sorry OP, my sis has it & it gets her down too.

I’m sorry. That must feel rubbish. People often point out my eczema like ‘oh you’ve got something happening to your face there’… yes I’m aware it’s also painful and I’ve had it 30 years.

So pointless. As though people don’t know something is wrong with their skin.

Sorry I just noticed the "cruelty free" part of your request... I'm not sure If this qualifies but Soolantra 10mg cream has worked wonders for me. Mine got so extreme that I was staying in if I didn't 100%need to go. More of my face than not was affected

8 weeks of mild antibiotics and now going on 10 months of the cream daily and it's 99% gone. If it passes the cruelty test, then it's a hard recommend from me

I sympathise OP. I have rosacea and while it's mostly under control thanks to IPL treatment, I have many times had people commenting on my red face. A couple of people I know would say Your face is really red. Your nose looks very red. One day I flipped and said You know I have rosacea. Are you just trying to embarrass me and hurt my feelings?
She ended up with a face redder than mine!
I think you just have to be direct. Don't be scared of hurting someone's feelings. Just say It's a skin condition called rosacea, it's not contagious.

Thank you to all those who get it! It’s so frustrating because it’s so visible and even with make up I can’t ever hide it 100%, it’s on such an obvious body area too there’s no way to cover it up.

Ive tried everything the GP has given me and nothing has helped, I can’t remember all the names but I’ve tried Soolantra, Ivermectin, antibiotics, some other kind of gel and the latest one beginning with a B that actually made it worse - my face was practically purple and you could feel the heat radiating from my face 6inches away! Currently I’m on beta blockers but nothing has made the slightest bit of difference, it’s just getting worse and spreading. Honestly I’ve kind of given up hope because even that stuff that works for 75% of people doesn’t seem to work for me, most of my face is covered now. Next step is a referral to a dermatologist but that will probably take years so I guess I just need to accept that’s how my face will always be and learn to live with it or get really good at applying make up!

Looking upset / offended and saying, ‘I have a medical condition - I’d appreciate you not commenting on it’ should shut the rude bastards up. Sometimes making people squirm is the only way to teach them a lesson.

@Yellowpapersundo you know how much the IPL treatments cost? I can’t afford much but I’m getting desperate so may be worth using savings on. I am dangerously close to snapping at someone but I know that will definitely get me in trouble and possibly lead to complaints but I just am getting so angry with the rudeness and tactlessness displayed by some people.

Whereabouts are you? I go to a lady near Chester and she charges £75 per session. I have had just two sessions in 6 months and honestly the difference is amazing. She is very experienced and well qualified and she says IPL works much better than laser. It stings but doesn't hurt. Initially the redness increases but after a couple of weeks the body has cleared the skin and it's much paler.
I hope you can find a way to have the treatment.

People can be absolutely horrid.
I remember when I was out and about with my baby , my fourth pregnancy at the time , you know the way it takes longer for your tummy to go down after each pregnancy.
My baby was about 2 months old .
I got “ are you sure there isn’t another one in there “ .
“ is your tummy going to stay that big do you think , this is your fourth after all “ .
” You’ll need to do plenty of exercises to get your figure back “ .
”Are you still hanging around “ ( and I pushing a new born baby pram ) .
I remember feeling so hurt at the time , because there is no need ever to pass off negative comments to a person about their appearance.
Some people are just dicks OP .

You do know that there are treatments for rosacea? Are you on any? I’m asking only because I’ve had to take them before. That said, people ARE being rude to you. I don’t know how to make them stop.

There are some seriously rude people around! Who the fuck comments on someone’s face like this? They’re idiots wuth atrocious manners.

OP, I wholeheartedly agree that people should STFU about how others look.

Because you have expressed how this is impacting you, and that you have tried solutions from the GP, I wanted to share that I've been getting laser treatment for my rosacea. It has made a significant difference. Something you could consider if it's in your budget? I am in Australia, so don't know if they have different names. I get Excel v for red veins (makes your face swell up for a day or two) and genesis. If you can afford it, it's worthwhile.

Well my child caused a injury to hos body and well the stares were beyond annoying
The frowns..long stares.
Perhaps looks at it as away to educate people about rosecea? ..or dare i say use something that might help tackle it.
We all have oddities, quirks and differences.
Tell them what it is like the pp with the small note saying so.
Humans are curious.

Don't have any advice OP but totally get it. I was born with a limb difference, and the amount of grown adults who think it's acceptable not only to openly stare, but to ask me "what happened to you?" just pisses me off sometimes. Because of course, why wouldn't I want to discuss my medical history with a complete stranger? 🙄
I have occasionally made stuff up, just to amuse myself and to see if they fall for it. I'll say something like I'm a marine biologist and I lost my arm in a shark attack, and when they say "Really??" I just look at them as if they're stupid and say "No, of course not" which really confuses them.
Or I reply to the "What happened to you?" question with a confused look and "nothing- why, what happened to YOU?" which also confuses them. I take the view that if I have to put up with these idiots at least I should get some mild amusement out of it!

Soolantra, an otc cream, is meant to be good for dealing with it

and people shouldn’t say anything - very rude

I just wanted to give a shout out to https://www.changingfaces.org.uk/
They're an amazing charity with excellent resources and support x

Yanbu this must be really annoying and upsetting.
I know you shouldnt have to but...... if appropriate (which it probably wouldnt be I guess) if you could hand out a leaflet to any of the question asking people. "Heres a leaflet, have a great day" smile and wave etc.
Because there will be people who genuinely dont know/understand - so a bit of education would help them. And the rest are just nasty and inconsiderate.
Are your employers sympathetic at all. Im itching to move elsewhere atm but my boss is very kind and understanding re my disabilities so Im loathe to move incase I cant recreate that elsewhere.

Have you tried Tetralysal, aka Lymecyline? Only think that worked for me.

I just can't get over how rude some people are. In my mid 30s,I developed persistent bad spots on my chin. I worked in a shop and had to deal with customers all day, every day. The number of them who thought fit to comment on my spotty chin was unbelievable. Some of them even thought that I was unaware of it saying things like 'Did you know you've got a couple of really nasty spots on your chin?'. Eventually I went to my doctor who prescribed me a 3 month low-dose course of antibiotics which thankfully got rid of them. The spots that is. Unfortunately,the customers were still there. You have my sympathy OP. People are just ignorant.

Try your local college’s beauty department and/or groupon sometimes have offers

People can be thoughtless arseholes. It’s a them problem.