To be really fed up with people commenting on my face?

[squashedalmondcroissant]

For context, I work in a customer facing role in a hot environment and I have pretty severe rosacea. I have obvious red patches all over my face that have joined up in places and almost looks like bad sunburn, when it flares up it is even more noticeable.

I notice a lot of people staring and I’m well aware of what I look like but as long as they don’t comment I mostly just try to ignore it and convince myself it isn’t that bad, its all in my head and I’m just being self conscious.

But more and more people are commenting and it’s really starting to piss me off. From the people openly asking what’s wrong with my face (yes, in those exact words), to people pointing at their own face and going ‘oooh’ with a pained expression, to the guy today who asked me ‘where’s your face from’ (????), AIBU to be getting pissed off?

YANBU - people should learn to shut the fuck up and keep their thoughts to themselves. It isn’t kind or helpful and someone with obvious facial differences is highly aware of what they look like and you mentioning it makes you look like a massive dick.

YABU - people are just curious and don’t mean any harm by it.

@Noshadowsinthedarkness I tried them
after a very convincing advert and they rejected me and refunded my money as they said it was too bad to help and referred me back to the GP! 😂

Sorry to hear this, people can be rude and sometimes just blurt things out before thinking.

I have melasma and the amount of times I've been asked if I've bumped my head (it's quite noticeable on my forehead without make up) or if I've had a bad spray tan/ hair colour is ridiculous!

Hopefully they are mortified once you have answered them and will think twice about commenting on someone's appearance next time!

At least they refunded and didn't fob you off.

I can easily believe that this happens. In a number of cases it's probably thoughtlessness, but it's still twattery and it still stings.

I don't have rosacea but I am overweight and have had people shouting their bullshit at me out of the windows of passing cars.

There are just so many arseholes around. I would love to say don't take it to heart but I know that is next to impossible so sending you solidarity.

@Mygardenshedisfallingdown yes that’s true, at least I didn’t have to waste a lot of money and hope!

@TonytheTRex the guy today when he said ‘where is your face from’ I just laughed and said ‘what do you mean?’ and he just went silent and stared at me 😂 Hopefully it did make him reconsider but IME people that rude don’t really think that much.

Teach them the 30 second rule.

"It's quite rude to point out something about a person's appearance that they cannot change or fix in under 30 seconds. An untied shoelace, or something stuck in the teeth is ok, but unchangeable things like hair, weight or skin is considered rude. Did you not learn that in nursery?".

Be very sweet and cheerful about it then you won't get in trouble with work 😉

@squashedalmondcroissantpeople can be so unkind, and unhelpful.
I have suffered with rosacea for many years the pustules type. The Dermatica treatment sorted mine out. Can you ask your Dr for finacea for redness or soolantra and metronidazole if you have pustules.
A woman on the beauty counter at a local department store once said to my face I would love to squeeze your spots. I sent a written complaint to the store and still avoid her now.

I 100% would match their energy. I would top their stupidity and overdose on their ignorance. Ask them something about themselves like why do you have that hair style? why is your nose that big/small?

dumb questions get dumb answers sorry!

I would expect better from adults. I work in a school and children will sometimes comment but are usually quite good at accepting that is what my skin is like when I explain that some people just had redder skin than others.

I too have tried all the GP recommendations and have got a referral for the dermatologist. Can you push for that? I have been waiting a long time though as it's not seen as a priority.

I do cover up now just using one of those green creams. I used erborian, but I agree in this heat I feel like it drips off as the day goes on.

Soolantra and erborian have changed my life. Erborian is also quite light not like a make up at all.

Sorry OP! I know my friend swore by antibiotics to clear it, I have been lucky mine cleared fairly easily.
But no way anyone should comment, fucking rude!

It's expensive but IPL sorted my rosacea out. It has been five years and I'm just thinking about a top up. Think of the money spent on creams that don't work and save for ipl instead.

Fellow rosacea sufferer here and YANBU at all! Mine is much less severe than it used to be, but at its worst I would get so many comments it was unreal. People would sometimes be very genuine and think I had fallen and hurt my face, other times not so much.
I always wished I'd had a smart response, but I never did!

The more I hear about people, the less I like them. Nothing helpful to add OP, but in solidarity

Also, what helped mine was:
Coming off the pill
Kalme day cream
Dr Weil Mega Mushroom Soothing Cream (I use this as a night cream)
Wearing SPF 50 on my face everyday. I use an oil-free one by Heliocare

op I have rosacea too and know how embarrassing and frustrating this can be. In the past year I have found washing with Superdrug deep action face wash (2% salicylic acid) then using prescribed topical gel ‘Rolex’ 0.75% w/w gel and using create facial moisturising lotion only has been life changing. I do this routine twice daily and it’s such an improvement. I hope yours improves or that people stop commenting in a negative way x

@squashedalmondcroissant Well he just sounds like an arsehole!

I hope you find something that helps x

3 months of doxycycline and azelaic acid made a massive difference to mine

I’m so sorry you have to experience this, for the life of me I don’t understand why random people feel the need to comment it’s outrageous I would not dream of highlighting anything on someone I did not know.I have a birthmark on my face and my Dentist once said that looks nasty I thought he meant my teeth as my mouth was open and it was my birthmark, he tapped on it, I could not say anything as he was poking about in my mouth.It made me feel like shit though, I’d understand if I went to a skin model casting but it was a Dentist appointment, I’ve always had it , he had seen it before.Thankfully he’s never mentioned it again.

It must be so hard for you to cope with this day in and day out, don’t let the twats get you down.Youre getting up and going to work be proud of yourself.

OP I know you didn’t ask this but I have rosacea and it’s calmed so much from dermatica. I cover up with erborian cc cream too (green one) v forgiving on wrinkles.

I was going to say Azelaic acid. I bought The Ordinary 10% one from boots and have been using it about 8 weeks and it’s made a massive difference to how red my cheeks look. I tried soolantra from the chemist a couple of years ago and that did nothing.

Soolantra on prescription and Jansen cosmetics for sensitive skin. Absolute game changers for my rosacea

Its not unusual at all, a lot of the population suffer

I was being treated for it, but totally wrong diagnoses - I have Seb Derm

Have you actually been and seen a dermatologist ? Got a true diagnoses? They are both so similar , yet need different treatments

Im often walking around with a red face if I dont wear any make up, and I can only wear make up when my skin is totally polished and smooth , which with Seb Dem is rare

But I dont have "friends " nor customers who would be as crass to comment

People shouldn’t comment on your face. It’s so rude. I had rosacea that was linked to facial mites. Yuk I know. GP prescribed Invermectin which made a huge difference. Just thought I’d mention it in case it was something you’d not tried.

People are so rude. I work in a shop,and I have a stutter. The amount of grown adults who ask me why I can’t speak, or to hurry up and speak is shocking!