Do mums overpack and overthink compared with dads taking toddlers out?

[ItsBritanyBitchh]

Not really an Aibu but I keep thinking about it and its making me laugh / smile.

My mum takes DD1 on a Wednesday while we work. Anyway, my mum went on holiday and I hadn't realised until a few weeks before that we would have to take time to look after DD. So I took Wednesday last week off work, DP took Wednesday just passed off.

Anyway, we have glorious weather and I was working from home. Late afternoon I said i was taking our dog out as it was cooler and I was quiet in work. I only took her to the local park for a v.quick walk and so she could splash about in the stream.

Ten minutes into my walk I had a text from DP asking where I was and that he and DD were going to meet me. I hadn't seen it straight aeay and then I saw them both in the park.

And omg. DD was wearing green strippy dress, christmas bandana/bib (we use these sometimes but never out in public!), blue sunhat, yellow socks, black shoes and pink sunglasses (okay. She only had one pair). I couldn't stop laughing. Every item was a different colour and didnt match at all. Apparently he doesnt know where certain clothes lives so rummaged through DD nursery bag for stuff (the manky stuff!!).

I also couldn't help but laugh that the only thing he had on him was keys and his phone. I know park only 5 mins from house but he didnt pack anything.. no water. No wipes, nothing. He didnt even have a pram, or trike, he just carried her. When I questioned how mad that was he was surprised "well, the rest is just faff! If I needed anything id go home or pop to shop!". It got me thinking, have men got it right? Do we create work for ourselves or do u also think this is bonkers!!!

Light hearted post 🩷
Feel free to share similar stories xx

A park 5 minutes from the house, I wouldn't pack anything either.

Haven’t you seen the Bluey episode where dad takes them to the pool and forgets basically everything so they can’t do anything till mum turns up with the gear? Basically that. Some dads are useless.

DD isnt walk so I would have taken pram or trike, wipes and some water! It was hot lol

Personally even for myself I would make sure I had water!

I think nappies, wipes and some water are a bare minimum.

I think sometimes dads don’t bother because no one expects anything of them - if they did need something people would probably fall over themselves to help rather than judging. Their experience of the world is that it’s all incredibly accommodating of people with children as they don’t see it’s just men with children, whereas mums only get judgement

Maybe I overplan then🙈🙈

However. The outfit was very unreasonable x

My exh comes to various things we both have to be at with his little ones and I’ve noticed he never has anything with him (was similar with our two but was alone with them less).

Theres a very “god will provide” (ie some women will provide) attitude about him and many fathers

I would've taken nappies, wipes and water. If it's just the park 5 minutes away, does it really matter what she wears? Though it is concerning he doesn't know where clothes for his own child are.

For a trip to the park 5 minutes away I would have been like your DH. You can’t change a nappy there so would have done that before leaving. The outfit is so hilariously toddler. Maybe a ball or something she might want to play with at most.

How does her dad not know where her clothes are? Doesn’t she have a wardrobe? Does he not do any laundry? I find that so odd!! But yeah park 5 minutes from home with a non walking toddler/baby - I wouldn’t have expected to stay very long because they can’t exactly do a lot in the park if they can’t walk so it seems fine not to have brought anything. And if he’d rather carry her than push a pram then that’s his choice.

Mine would be lucky to be wearing shoes

Just his attitude i can pop to.shop. i dont disagree but surely just having water on you is just easier than leaving the park, Walking to the shop, etc?! Plus she drinks from a sippy cup, isnt going to start drinking from a bottle and it'll probably go down her?! He said i create stress for myself?!

The clothing is fine. Small children don’t need “outfits”. And the rest was fine too, if home
is only five minutes away.

Maybe its me lol I always carry a small handbag so if we are popping out quickly I always put wipes and water in it for her. Even if popping out for 5. I would take pram and trike so I can be out a little longer and get the steps in! He was just so chill. It was like a picture. She never keeps her sunhat or su glasses on for me and there they both were standing in the sun, sunhats, sunglasses.. looking very chill 🤣

Dh brought the kids swimming in the lake the other day, I think we assume they can’t get everything together but I met them out here had towels for everyone, swimming tops and togs, snacks… we’d only decided last minute. I know where everything is and I couldn’t have gotten that organised that fast. Saying that up this morning and he asked where a top was that was just sitting there, then wallet, then keys and I’m like how does he go from that to THAT!!!

For that distance, I would only have taken water, a plaster and a tissue, for the inevitable trip that requires emergency first aid! DD loves a plaster, it’s a traditional part of all her summer outfits 😂

Same, anywhere within 10 mins walk I wouldn't take anything apart from a bottle of water during this hot weather. Can go home if nappy change. What else would you need? And who cares what a kid wears?

Why can’t your one year old drink from a bottle? My one year old shared my water bottle this week when I forgot his. He seems to prefer it to his cup now (and generally prefers to drink from an open cup anyway.

Kindly, he's right. A child can drink from a normal bottle and it's so hot, getting wet would be nice! You sound very image obsessed for your child. Surely at that age they chose their clothes and dress themselves anyway?

He does do DD laundry but leaves.me to out away her clothes because its my favourite housejob I love putting away washing 🤣 i love putting away shopping, emptying dishwasher.. he doesnt jobs i dont like.. ironing (why?!), cleaning kitchen... urghh highchair?! Etc.

He was amazed when I showed him the sock tray.. I questioned how he didnt see this as its next to the pants and sunhats?! Anyway, i honestly think he saw nursery bag and just emptied that as he knows its full and ready for nursery🤣

She probably could manage a few sips if he held it for her and if she was going to splash in a stream I’m not sure why spilling some evian down her front would be an issue? Wasn’t the whole point of the outing to get wet?

No i was taking my dog to splash in stream.. he just rocked up with DD to surprise me!

Yes. She would have managed some sips. She drinks from my bottle occasionally but only managed a few sips or sometimes spits it all out l shes still learning! So yes it wouldnt have been end of world but I would pack accordingly! Lol

Honestly, she’s a baby. The idea of her needing a coordinated outfit to go to the park in to me is deeply odd.

I think it was the dog splashing in the stream.
5 mins from home I don’t think it’s an issue. If she had pooed then you’d nip home rather than changing her on a bench etc.
Water, yes it’s hot but it was evening and it doesn’t sound like a long trip.

My motto is I only take stuff if not having the stuff would ruin the day out because we had to return or struggle without it.

E.g day out of the house, child wets themself or pukes and need a change of clothes.

If I was walking to the park to walk back home again I wouldn’t bother with all the stuff.

Would always carry water though in the heat.

My DH has always been the one packing for the kids, whereas I flew by the seat of my pants more and got caught short a few times. In terms of clothes matching - she is a toddler. Things get trashed. As long as my two have seasonally appropriate clothes on (yesterday DD would only wear knickers until we had to leave the house, whilst DS was trying to insist on winter weight trousers and a jumper!), I am fairly relaxed.