To think my son shouldn't share a room with his cousin?

[Sophiehoney]

My husband's sister has two kids the exact same age as my kids, but opposite genders.
They live about two and a half hours away so we see them regularly but not that often. Usually during the Easter, Summer and Christmas Holidays, so about 3 times a year. They stay in MIL's holiday caravan in a nearby site.
The kids and adults all get on great.
This year, DH suggested to them that the kids have a sleepover at ours while they are here, which would be fun for the kids and would give them a night to go out. This was enthusiastically accepted by kids and adults. He has said they can either sleep indoors, sharing bedrooms with our kids or camp in the garden in tents if it stays nice.
I'm very happy with this accept the thing is, DH thinks it would be fine for the two 13 year olds, of opposite genders, to share a bedroom or tent. I'm really uncomfortable with this and think it's a bad idea. I've suggested that the two younger ones share and the older two sleep apart, maybe one on the sofa or something.
DH thinks I'm being weird and paranoid and that they're cousins so it's fine, and I'd be spoiling their fun, but I just think it's inappropriate.
DH says he doesn't know how he's supposed to suggest this to his sister and BIL.
AIBU?

I think it depends on how the kids feel about it. I wouldn’t bat an eyelid as long as the 13yr olds were ok with it - they are family. If either weren’t 100% comfortable though then I’d split them up.

I think this is a fair response.

I think the opinion of both 13yr olds is important to take into account. If they are both comfortable and they are not getting changed around each other then I wouldn’t worry.

My 12 year old would never share a room or tent with any of his female cousins and he’s very clear on that.

I think it depends on their relationship and if they want to.

I used to sleep in my cousin's bedroom., we did camping in the garden etc... but we were really close from being toddlers. He was like a brother. I would have hated sharing with some of my other cousins though - not the same relationship.

It’s not appropriate. I was sexually assaulted by my cousin at a similar age in my own home. You need to protect your children and your DH will just have to suck it up.

How manygirls, how many boys altogether

I think you should say no and spare the cousins the embarrassment of having to say they aren't happy. . Either put siblings together or same sex cousins, or even put the 4 of them in a big tent. But not the teenagers together.

Separate them - youre right.

This

How old are the younger two... would boys together and girls together work?

Surely his sister wouldn’t expect them to share a room? It would be weird of him to suggest that to her.

Remember that post a few months ago about the cousins that slept together in their teens?

it’s probably fine but if it makes you uncomfortable do girls in one room boys in another.

I'd expect same sex cousins to share, or siblings to share, unless the dc were asking for it.

In our family we would just do girls and boys together, ignore ages (so the 13 yo girl shares with 9 yo girl). Unless the gap is absolutely massive and you have teenagers and toddlers.

Please do not do this under any circumstances.

Separate them. 100% separate them and don’t even ask them what they think.

Ask the teenagers how they feel. A tent camping is different from sharing a bed in a bedroom.

Gosh no. Not at 13. They shouldn't be sharing a bedroom.

Don't do it. Not appropriate.

Surprised at the responses. I’d be fine with this if the kids were.

They'll be getting changed in front of each other? At 13? Yanbu

This ^
tbh I think the point of sleepover is for them all to be together.

Separate into boys and girls, not by age. Lots of reasons why this is more appropriate.

We loved sleeping over at cousins when we were kids / teens and nobody cared about what sex everyone was. I’d ask your child privately and then put your foot down and take the heat if they don’t want to. But if they do want to I’d let them.

@Sophiehoney plan to put the siblings together. If they then want to change things themselves let them.