AIBU to feel upset about missing my daughter’s last primary day?

[Teaaa]

Please can anyone make me feel better about missing my daughter’s last day of primary school today? I was working so didn’t pick her up. I asked her father to take pictures but he took 3 pictures of her on her own which I could have taken at home myself. I messaged in the group chat if anyone could please take a picture of her with the kids as a group and lots of thumbs up and “yes of course we will!” responses. I even PM’d the mums of her best friends to take pictures. We are moving away soon so this was extra important. Looking at group chat now there are hundreds of pictures of the kids and not one of my child. I feel really upset. Even the mums who I PM’d and they said they will of course take lots didn’t take even one. I don’t think it was a big ask it takes literally a second to snap a picture. The kids were all stood around waiting to be collected by parents already. I hate my DH for not taking pics too and I know he did on purpose. We’ve been fighting about this just now and he told me to get over it and he forgot as he was checking his work emails and when he remembered the kids had all left.

I feel like I failed her. I could have just left work and got someone to cover me - I probably would have got told off by manager but at least I would have pics of my child’s last day. She’s my only child so I can’t have a last day if primary again. In secondary school parents are not allowed in the school to take pics so I feel a big milestone of my child’s life.

You didn’t fail her. I am always tying myself in knots to do the best for my children but I wasn’t there for my child’s last day either due to work. No one took photos, no one thought to include her in a group photo. I ignored Facebook and got over myself. There are people with seriously ill children, my child was fine it was more my guilt. MY Child doesn’t really remember her last day now!

Won't a lot of them have walked home on their own and not had parents there at all?

Thank you all for understanding. Can I ask what apps can I use to create the group of like @ThatJadeLion suggested? I’m so rubbish with technology!

It’s ok OP I don’t have pictures either for my kids, never really thought to do so. Didn’t do it for nursery or infants or primary for either of them. It’s ok to feel a bit sad but it’s not the end of the world.

Did they have a Leaver's assembly at all?
I have some of that (in the old days when we had to get pics developed 😁) but on the last day they all streamed out in floods of tears (as were all the parents) so photos were out of the question.

No you haven’t failed your daughter. She had one parent there, she didn’t need both.

I’m pretty sure you have many photos of her at primary school and give it a year and you’ll look at none of them again, unless printed and framed.

There will be many more photos taken too.

Try to get over it quickly and not to argue about it as that is what she will remember otherwise on her last day of primary school rather than you not being there to take a pic.

I don't either. They were all so emotional it wasn't right to take pictures!

I'm surprised there were so many parents there doing a pick up to take pictures. I wouldn't have even thought about going to the school to pick them up just because its the last day (Hardly any of our year 6's have been collected from school for a long time)

I get it. I think it’s less about the photos and more about feeling that you weren’t there.

There’s a chance that not everyone has shared their photos yet.

Did your daughter have a good last day? That’s all that matters.
Could you organise a meet up for her and her friends before you go?

You haven’t failed her.

No you didn't fail her.
This simply doesn't matter. She's loved and cared for, which is priceless.

Did your DD have a nice last day, that’s what is important?

You haven’t failed your daughter. Plenty of parents up and down the country won’t be around on their child’s last day at primary or first day at school. It happens. If your child does remember in the future that you weren’t there today, I doubt she’s going to be traumatised or upset.

My first had no last day at primary due to the pandemic

My second just got the bus home. There was no big pick up / mum photo thing happening.

I’ve never heard of this being a thing.

I think you need to find your perspective

The photo collage sounds a lovely idea if having photos is important to you and your dd but if the technicalities prove too tricky then I honestly wouldn't stress over it.

I didn't take any photos of my dd's last day at primary school and I work there! I vaguely remember her coming down to my classroom at the end of the day. We probably had "School's Out" blasting out while I tidied the classroom as that's what we often did at the end of the year.

She took loads of photos herself of her last day at secondary school and has never once said that she wished that she had similar photos from the last day of primary school.

Neither DH or I collected them from school - they went to after school club. Never entered my head to take a photo - not everything needs a photo.

She wasn’t there and won’t have memories of it. My daughter’s last day at primary was so lovely, a really nice memory. If I couldn’t have gone and my husband was shit with the photos, I’d be pissed off too.

You didn't fail your daughter. But your dh failed today and acted like a jerk about it.

I was a teacher when my little girl was in Reception so missed out on her first ever day of school. It really is awful 😢
I'm now a tutor so go to everything 😀

If it meant that much to you, why didn't you book annual leave?

I didn't imagine my kids had any idea of me being part of the day, so I really wouldn't worry about what your daughter might think about it. I took photos of both of them before they left on their last day for old 'contrast with first day' photos as a bit of fun, but it wasn't like an important rite of passage that had to be done.

Social media makes us make a bit too much of a few too many things sometimes.

Does your school not do photos? Thought they were pretty standard across all primary schools (and year 7 and 11 of secondary).

Is there a leavers party planned so you can get a photo then?

I hadn't even thought about photos on the last day, but we did take photos when they got their leavers hoodies.

Also don't some kids walk home alone anyway so they are likely to also not have a parent taking photos.

I know it seems like such a huge massive deal now but honestly it’s not. Do you have lots of pictures of your last day if primary? Do you look at them daily? I know you’re upset but you need to put this in perspective.

Yes this would upset me but unfortunately some people just don’t have the same principles :( .. it is upsetting knowing you’d do it for them but try and not let it bother you.

I think like others have said - don’t worry about not having the picture. There are far more valuable moments you can picture instead! You can always take one first day of secondary! Remember my mum made me take a picture in my secondary school uniform (I was so spotty and hated it) but even now that pic isn’t hanging up on the wall anywhere!

Get a grip, OP.
This obsession of taking photos of any minor/unimportant ‘occasion’ is getting out of hand.
”ooh look, new school shoes” “first school dinner” “newly sharpened pencil”
🙄

Use Google Gemini. Upload the group photo. Upload the picture of your daughter. Select "create image". Use a prompt along the lines of: "without changing any other details in this photo, add the image of the girl on her own into this group picture so it looks like she was part of the original group photo"