AIBU to feel upset about missing my daughter’s last primary day?

[Teaaa]

Please can anyone make me feel better about missing my daughter’s last day of primary school today? I was working so didn’t pick her up. I asked her father to take pictures but he took 3 pictures of her on her own which I could have taken at home myself. I messaged in the group chat if anyone could please take a picture of her with the kids as a group and lots of thumbs up and “yes of course we will!” responses. I even PM’d the mums of her best friends to take pictures. We are moving away soon so this was extra important. Looking at group chat now there are hundreds of pictures of the kids and not one of my child. I feel really upset. Even the mums who I PM’d and they said they will of course take lots didn’t take even one. I don’t think it was a big ask it takes literally a second to snap a picture. The kids were all stood around waiting to be collected by parents already. I hate my DH for not taking pics too and I know he did on purpose. We’ve been fighting about this just now and he told me to get over it and he forgot as he was checking his work emails and when he remembered the kids had all left.

I feel like I failed her. I could have just left work and got someone to cover me - I probably would have got told off by manager but at least I would have pics of my child’s last day. She’s my only child so I can’t have a last day if primary again. In secondary school parents are not allowed in the school to take pics so I feel a big milestone of my child’s life.

I don't have any photos of my two's last day at primary, can't even remember it, there are also no photos of mine or my siblings, and I also can't recall those moments either.

My point being, I have loads of fond memories of them around that age, and we have a laugh talking about them. Strangely, of all the memories that have genuinely stuck and brought true happiness, there are no photos.

You don't need photos, the memories that matter will stick with you regardless.

It feels like a big deal today it honestly it’s not a big deal in the long run. It’s her school days not yours. Did anyone come to your last day? I doubt it. I have been at my kids last days and probably took photos. Don’t have them to hand? Couldn’t even find them I don’t think and definitely didn’t print them etc.
Let it go and celebrate her holidays instead with a nice day or evening or takeaway etc rather than a family argument.

Thank you both. I think it’s also if I say I will do something I make sure I do it but those mums who gave me reassurance that they will definitely take didn’t! Why say they will

Id let it go. Not worth a family argument. We have so many pictures of our kids now we don't know what to do with them. Your daughter has succeeded at school, I'd move on and celebrate the week instead. You could still go to the school gate and take one last photo in her uniform. Failing that use AI to photo merge.

I wanted a picture of her and her friends/class

She’s my only child so I can’t have a last day if primary again

With kindness, it sounds like it’s a milestone that you are more bothered about than she is. It’s not really a milestone, is it? Who remembers their last day of primary? She’s only going to think it’s something to be upset about if you make her feel like it is.

We took photos on the last day .. have never looked at them. The kids move on quite quickly, high school, new friends etc

Check with the school in case they took any

Oh I am so sorry OP. I would feel very let down by those I trusted.

Thank you for understanding. Since reception class I have been the one if anyone says they can’t make it to make sure I take a picture of their kids during nativity, assemblies, plays etc and send it to them

I dont get the fuss that parents give y6, never did as a teacher or parent, however i do understand you'd like pics esp as uou are moving away.
As a primary teacher and parent Id ask the school as most do photos esp for the y6 kids, or if the school have fb there may be photos on there you could use. My husbands school definitely post the pics of the leavers.

I do think you're being a bit ridiculous but maybe give people a chance to look through all their photos, pick the best ones and send them over? I don't always share photos immediately.

I would feel annoyed with DH too !

However we have 2 who left primary in the last 2 years and they definitely don't care about the pictures we took on the last day. The one still left at primary probably won't care either.

Yoi say you are moving away so even less so it matters, she will make new friends at her new school as some many are in the samw
boat then.

I absolutely understand why you feel sad and hurt. The people you asked for a small bit of help didn't do it. And I would definitely have been sad to have missed the last day of primary

Byt I dont think of photos of the last day being a thing ? I dont have any. You have years of memories and let's be honest who looks at all the photos.

I moved house when my son was in year 5 and took lots of photos of his last day and guess what...I never look at them as they just make me feel.a bit sad and nostalgic.

I think this is displacement over wishing you had gone to pick her up.

It's just one afternoon of the many she was there. You dont need photos of it.

I have no photos of my kids on last day of primary, l think they got lost when old laptop died, the kids dont care they are old now in thier late 20's .
I recently was clearing out photos they had absolutely no intrest in all the holiday/ memory photos of themlves so 99% are in bin.

Use a photo of your daughter and use a few of the photos you have access to with the kids that were friends and photomege using chatgpt / nano banana pro. Or if AI isn't your thing, you could could make a photo collage.

Thank you all. I feel better about the photos but did I completely fail her by not being there for her? I had a very neglectful mum who never cared about anything. Did I fail my daughter?

Your feelings are valid.

I would be upset too

No you didn’t.

Parents who are neglectful don’t ask if they are neglectful.

@ThatJadeLion i think you’ve just solved my problem! You are an absolute genius! I’m going to try now. Please can I PM you if I can’t figure it out? I’m so excited to try it out now. There’s a lovely pic of the kids standing in a circle and I’ve got the 3 pics DH took of DD

I think it was a bit mean of the other mums
They shouldn't have said they would do it.

I’m sorry, OP. You’ll probably get some nasty/arsey responses but it’s not unreasonable at all to want some photos, especially since you couldn’t be there. It’s really poor form that the other parents let you down. You thought you had it covered by asking a few people but they didn’t bother, and that is upsetting. Hopefully someone will have a few that they haven’t sent yet.

Also your husband is a twat.

Ah, this is really a shame but let me ask you something - is your child upset?

If so, focus on comforting them.

If not, don’t make it a bigger thing than it is - not worth wrecking your marriage over.

It seems big now but once they go up to seniors it will be in the past. As long as you have pics of her, that’s the main thing.

God I don’t think I was at any of my kids’ last days or had photos of it! They still knew I loved them. I was just working, same as lots of parents.

They’re adults now and they look at the cute primary pictures with complete detachment as if it’s completely irrelevant or just a weird misty memory to them now. I only say this to reassure you that as pissed off as you feel today, the moment will become less significant in time.

I dont have any photos on last day of primary of any of mine. Didn't realise it was a thing.